There's Gotta Be Something in the Water
by shiroryu of the moon
Summary: Kikyo going on about fire, Kagome's getting attack by deranged pixie, and Inuyasha's being questioned about his underwear preferences? What on earth has happened to the feudal era? There's gotta be something in the water...
1. You knew she was gonna keel over soon

Summary: Something weird is going on in the feudal era. Everyone keeps spontaneously bursting into Disney songs. What the heck is going on?  
  
Author's Note: OK friends, here's the deal. I did not write this story by myself. My sister Saffron Spice wrote this with me. So it's both of ours.  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Inuyasha. Yet.  
  
"You were a whole day late! Where the heck were you?"  
  
"Inuyasha my grandmother died!"  
  
"Who cares? Shard hunting is more important!"  
  
"I can't believe you would say something so cruel!"  
  
"She was old, so you knew she was gonna keel over soon."  
  
Kagome looked at him with such anger it made Inuyasha a bit nervous. He took a step back. He knew he had gone too far.  
  
"SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!!!"  
  
WHOOSH!  
  
BAM!  
  
Inuyasha felt his necklace pull him to the ground. As he collided with the earth, he figured he would be there for a while. So while Kagome continued to unleash her string of painful words, Inuyasha felt his face digging a deeper hole in the ground every minute.  
  
"Hmph! Serves you right you insensitive jerk! I hope you broke your neck!" Kagome stomped off to Kaede's hut.  
  
"I didn't break my neck! YOU did!" he thought to himself. Inuyasha stayed in the ground for about an hour, thinking about what had gone wrong this time.  
  
"Gaerhoi hfozeuir foauytreh idoae!" he grumbled.  
  
"What was that Inuyasha?" Miroku sat down next to him silently laughing at the predicament.  
  
Inuyasha finally pulled his face up to look at Miroku. "What do you want?" he sneered.  
  
"I want to see you stop making such an utter fool of yourself. What you said was heartless."  
  
"Feh. I'm no fool."  
  
"You're right. Just a jackass." Miroku stated.  
  
"Why you..."  
  
"Why don't you go and apologize to Kagome?" He suggested.  
  
"Hell no. I ain't doing nothing!"  
  
"Fine. Be that way. You only make it harder for yourself though." Miroku walked away. Inuyasha sighed to himself. He really did have to stop doing this. He got up and walked the short distance to Kaede's house and peeked inside to see Kagome huddled in a corner, crying.  
  
"God, I hate it when she cries." He thought. A pang of guilt had started in his heart. "Tomorrow I'll go and apologize." He muttered as he walked off to get some sleep.  
  
Inside the hut, Kagome had brought her knees up to her chest and was hugging them protectively as she was thinking savagely "I can't stand him! Why does he always say things like that! He's a total jerk!" She felt arms wrap around her. She looked up to see Sango embracing her.  
  
"Don't worry about it Kagome. He'll come around."  
  
Kagome smiled softly. "I hope so."  
  
"Ye two should get some rest, lest ye become tired during thy travels in the morn." Kaede interrupted as she stepped into her house.  
  
"Alright Kaede." Sango said. She lied down on her mat and fell quickly asleep.  
  
"I don't think I can sleep." Kagome mumbled miserably.  
  
Kaede looked at her for a moment, then went to a cupboard in the back of the room and rummaged through countless jars and pouches.  
  
"Aha!" she cried out triumphantly. She hobbled over to Kagome holding a little brown leather pouch.  
  
"What's that Kaede?"  
  
"Tis a remedy for sleeplessness. Here, put a pinch of this powder on thy tongue." Kagome eyed it suspiciously. She looked up to see Kaede smiling warmly at her. So she sighed, took a pinch and sprinkled it on her tongue.  
  
And then almost spit it out.  
  
"Ugh, 'Aede! His is oss!" She said as she stuck out her tongue with the powder dissolving on it.  
  
"Swallow." Kaede instructed. Kagome took a big gulp.  
  
"Ugh, Kaede. This is gross!" she repeated.  
  
"I know, but ye shall be sleeping soon."  
  
"But I don't feel tired." Kagome said.  
  
"Ye will soon. I have some matters to attend to. Ye get some sleep." Kaede said. She put the pouch back.  
  
"OK" Kagome said. She lied down on her mat next to Sango as Kaede left. Kagome looked at the ceiling for awhile.  
  
"Ugh! I'm never gonna get to sleep this way!" she grumbled. She stood up and walked over to the cupboard. "Maybe if I take a little more, it'll help me get to sleep faster. She fumbled around until she felt the familiar pouch.  
  
"Just one more pinch." She said. She sprinkled more on her tongue. She instantly felt extremely drowsy. She dropped the pouch and sluggishly made her way back to her mat. She stood, swaying over her mat. And fell asleep before she ever hit it. As the moon rose, Kaede returned. She smiled at Kagome glad she was finally sleeping. Then she noticed something on the floor. She walked over to it and picked up the green leather pouch.  
  
"Oh no Kagome..." Kaede whispered. She had taken the wrong pouch. 


	2. But I'm not taking French!

Hey all, Shiroryu of the Moon and Saffron Spice here. Just in case you didn't read it last time, we will remind you again, this is a joint story. It's not just mine, but my sister's (Saffron Spice) story also. So there are two of us.  
  
Shiroryu: This'll be fun!  
  
Saffron: Yeah, I can't wait. How'd we come up with this anyway?  
  
Shiroryu: Not sure.  
  
Saffron: So I guess we should do the disclaimer now.  
  
Shiroryu: *laughs* You're a funny one. Around here, we don't do disclaimers, because Inuyasha is mine.  
  
Attorney: Ahem.  
  
Saffron: Who's that.  
  
Shiroryu: My attorney.  
  
Attorney: Say it.  
  
Shiroryu: No.  
  
Attorney: Alright, Saffron Spice, will you please tell the audience that Inuyasha and everything affiliated with him is not yours?  
  
Saffron: Sure. Inuyasha, Inuyasha characters, the idea of Inuyasha, and all the songs used in this fanfic are not ours. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Disney.  
  
Shiroryu: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
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Kagome woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. "Ugh...Am I in hell?" she groaned to herself. She sat up. "I feel like I've been mowed over by a MacDonald's truck. Repeatedly."  
  
"Ah, ye have awakened." Kaede said as she walked into the hut. "Ye have been asleep for quite awhile."  
  
"Really?" Kagome said. She looked around. "Hey, where's Sango?"  
  
"She went into the village to walk around. Ye should go join her."  
  
"Alright." Kagome got up and stretched and walked out of the hut.  
  
"Good morning Kagome!" a little bundle of fur jumped into her arms.  
  
"Hey Shippo! Where're Inuyasha and Miroku?"  
  
"I dunno." He said. "Where're you going?" he asked.  
  
"Into the village to find Sango."  
  
"Cool. Can I come too?"  
  
"Sure." Kagome set off with Shippo on her shoulder. Her headache was still there, but it wasn't as bad.  
  
'Maybe I took too much of that sleeping potion.' She thought to herself. She and Shippo walked through the village looking for their friend.  
  
"Oh, I see her!" Shippo pointed after they had been walking awhile. Sango was sitting on a rock near some houses. She had a thoughtful look on her face. "Sango! Hey San-" Kagome never finished because right then Sango stood up, and in a loud, melodious voice,  
  
"Little town  
  
It's a quiet little village  
  
Ev'ry day  
  
Like the one before  
  
Little town  
  
Full of little people  
  
Walking up to say..."  
  
"I didn't know Sango could sing." Shippo said.  
  
"Neither did I." Kagome said. She stopped dead in her tracks. Right then, villagers left and right poked their heads out of their windows and doors, and simultaneously sang out,  
  
"Bonjour!  
  
Bonjour!  
  
Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!"  
  
Kagome's eyes got wide as the entire village came out of their houses and starting singing.  
  
In French.  
  
The village baker was walking by with his piping hot rolls. Sango noticed this.  
  
"There goes the baker with his tray, like always  
  
The same old bread and rolls to sell  
  
Ev'ry morning just the same  
  
Since the morning that we came  
  
To this poor provincial town."  
  
The baker stopped, to look at Sango. "Good morning Sango!"  
  
"Good morning Monsieur." She replied.  
  
"Where are you off to today?"  
  
"Shard hunting. I just heard the most wonderful rumor, about a demon with a shard and-"  
  
"That's nice. Marie! The baguettes! Hurry up!" the baker interrupted.  
  
Kagome and Shippo looked in awe as the rest of the village began to sing about Sango, as if she couldn't hear them.  
  
"Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question  
  
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?"  
  
One old woman sang out loudly, "Never part of any crowd."  
  
A middle aged guy added, "'Cause her head's up on some cloud."  
  
Everyone else joined in, "No denying she's a funny girl that Sango."  
  
Kagome's mouth dropped. What the hell was going on? Why was everybody singing? Had she missed the rehearsals or something? She decided to find Sango, who had walked off. As she pushed through the crowd, she heard snippets of conversation.  
  
"Bonjour!" one woman was saying.  
  
"Good day!" a man answered.  
  
"How is your family?" she asked.  
  
"Bonjour!" another woman said  
  
"Good day!" was the reply.  
  
"How is your wife?" she inquired  
  
"I need six eggs!" one woman with a bunch of kids was screaming.  
  
"That's too expensive!" another man argued.  
  
"There must be more that this provincial life!" Sango's voice rang above the crowd. Kagome and Shippo followed it to the local blacksmith.  
  
"Good morning sir. I've come to browse again." She said.  
  
"See anything you like?" the blacksmith asked.  
  
"Oh, yes, this sword. I can't seem to put it down when I come. Have anything new?"  
  
"Not since yesterday."  
  
"That's alright. I'll just look at...this one!" she pointed to the same sword again.  
  
"That one? You've goggled at that one forever!"  
  
"Well it's my favorite! Smooth metal, sharp edge, beautiful handle-"  
  
"Well if you like all that much, it's yours!"  
  
"But sir!" Sango looked surprised yet pleased.  
  
"I insist." The blacksmith said.  
  
"Thank you. Thank you very much!" She skipped merrily out of the shop.  
  
"Since when does Sango sing? Since when does she SKIP?!" Kagome asked herself. Shippo just shrugged.  
  
"There's gotta be something in the water..." Kagome mused. She started to go after Sango again, only to be stopped by the villagers, again. Only this time, not only were they singing, they were dancing too.  
  
Simultaneously.  
  
Kagome would never look at them the same way again.  
  
"Look there, she goes that girl is peculiar  
  
I wonder if she's feeling well  
  
With a dreamy far-off look  
  
And that sword that she just took  
  
What a puzzle to rest of us is Sango"  
  
The villagers danced across the town square, singing loudly and in harmony. Sango sat down once again to admire her new weapon of destruction. She sang out softly,  
  
"Oh, isn't it amazing?  
  
It's my favorite sword because---you'll see  
  
Here's where the hilt meets metal  
  
But look I can even cut down a tree!  
  
But, I won't use it until, a serious emergency!"  
  
Kagome had had it. "STOP!!!" She screamed. The crowd stared at her. "What the hell is going on? Since when has this village gone completely crazy? What are you all doing?!" she yelled.  
  
"Um...we're singing and dancing Lady Kagome." One little boy said.  
  
"Yeah, I caught that. What in the world possessed you to do so?"  
  
The crowd just shrugged and dispersed. Kagome marched up to Sango.  
  
"Good morning Kagome." Sango said cheerfully.  
  
"Since when do you go around skipping and singing in the middle of a village?" Kagome pointed at her.  
  
"Since...today, I guess." Sango said. Kagome stared at her in awe.  
  
"You and the villagers were singing some parts in French."  
  
"Yep, I guess so." She shrugged.  
  
"But, you don't know even French." Kagome argued.  
  
"Um...I guess I must've looked in one of your spell books you bring from your time and picked up a few things." Sango reasoned.  
  
"I'm not taking French." Kagome pointed out.  
  
"Oh. Well, that's a bit weird. Anyways, let's go and get something to eat." Sango rose from her seat and walked off toward Kaede's hut, with Shippo tagging along behind her and Kagome looking absolutely baffled.  
  
"There's gotta be something in the water." Kagome told herself again. She made a mental note to start bringing her own beverages from then on out as she asked herself, "What is going on?"  
  
END OF CHAPTER 2  
  
Well, hope you all enjoyed. BTW, the song we used was called "Bonjour" (I think) and it's from the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast. Not ours. Don't sue. Anyways, you know what to do.  
  
You don't?  
  
Well let me enlighten you.  
  
REVIEW!!! 


	3. Oh, the horrors of the Electric Slide

First off, WOW!!! We definitely didn't expect this many reviews. Usually we get two or three a chapter, if we're lucky. So here's a shout-out to all who reviewed:  
  
Tashy911: Thanks. know what? I get that a lot. If you're scared now, you'll be terrified after this chapter...  
  
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Queen of All Chipmunks: Hmm.do you know my sister? Because she claims her chinchilla, Darby (imaginary, of course. Just don't tell her that) is the mistress of all hairless monkeys...yeah, I'm looking into getting her professional help. Soon. Don't worry. No need to rule over all the chipmunks to get me to update. Doing it right now. Thanks for reviewing.  
  
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xo-Kagome-ox: Glad I made you laugh. That is the main mission of this fanfic. To bring a smile to all who come across it. (and to scare the pants off all who come across it too.) Thanks for your review. Always appreciated.  
  
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Tache: Thanks. How did what happen? Sango singing? The idea of this fanfic? My sister deciding it was OK to have an imaginary pet chinchilla named Darby? What? Well, you can answer my questions next time you review (which will be right after you read this chapter. Right?)  
  
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Kenny: Much love and gratitude! This story is gonna be comprised of mostly songs from Disney movies, although, if I see fit, some will be from non- Disney movies. Not often, but sometimes.  
  
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Megami no Nekura: What's in the water I'm drinking...I am not at liberty to discuss the contents of my drinking beverages. *whispers loudly to her screen* The freakin FBI has got my computer bugged! They're still trying to find me after the Tijuana incident.  
  
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Wizogirl192003: OK. Will do.  
  
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Alright, now that that's out of the way-  
  
Saffron Spice: Hey, I wanna say something.  
  
Shiroryu: Back off!  
  
Saffron Spice: This is a CO-AUTHORED fic.  
  
Shiroryu: Yeah, but I'M the one that does the authoring part1  
  
Saffron Spice: Just lemme say something.  
  
Shiroryu: You have two minutes.  
  
Saffron Spice: Hey everyone! Just wanna thank everyone for reviewing-  
  
Shiroryu: I ALREADY did that!  
  
Saffron Spice: Hey. You said two minutes!  
  
Shiroryu: *grumbles* Fine  
  
Saffron Spice: To the Queen of All Chipmunks- You are so cool for understanding our obligation to rule over the rodents. I KNEW there were others like me.  
  
Shiroryu: hey, don't insult the reviewer! She won't come back!  
  
Saffron Spice: Whatever. Let's just get on with the story.  
  
Shiroryu: Fine by me.  
  
~*~  
  
Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not ours. Neither is the song we used in this chapter. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Disney. Back off.  
  
~*~  
  
"What is going on?" Kagome asked herself as she followed the obviously so- far-out-of-her-mind-she'll-have-trouble-relocating-her-senses-anytime-soon Sango and the oblivious-to-the-world-crashing-around-his-very-ears Shippo.  
  
"Whatcha say Kagome?" Sango asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh, nothing." Kagome said, a little startled. Was this all a dream? No. her head still hurt as if it was used as a wrecking ball. So what was going on? As they reached Kaede's hut, Kagome felt herself relax a bit. Hey, she liked singing in the shower, so what was the matter with Sango singing in the village?  
  
And dancing.  
  
With all the villagers watching.  
  
And singing  
  
And dancing.  
  
In unison.  
  
And in French.  
  
Suddenly, Kagome didn't feel so relaxed anymore.  
  
They got to the hut and had just stepped inside when they heard Inuyasha and Miroku coming.  
  
"Hey guys!" Sango greeted cheerfully. She went back outside to talk to them, while Kagome stayed behind. She was still heated about hers and Inuyasha's conversation the night before. If her memory served her correctly, he had said something along the lines of "She was old, so you knew she was gonna keel over soon." In response to hearing about her grandmother's death. True, she had only met her grandmother once, but still! That was just cold-hearted. How could you speak about someone's relative like that? All for that stupid jewel again! The one that basically ruled her pitiful existence she fondly christened her life.  
  
"Oh come on Kagome! Are you still mad?" Inuyasha asked. He got a very icy glare as a reply.  
  
"I would take that as a yes, Inuyasha." Miroku said.  
  
"I can work that out for myself, Monk!" he said irritated.  
  
"So are you gonna work this out? We can't very well go around looking for the shards with Kagome still angry with you, can we?"  
  
"How do you suppose I talk to her when she won't answer?"  
  
"You're not trying hard enough."  
  
"Look, why don't you try and make the stubborn cow listen, and I give you the lame advice?"  
  
"SIT!"  
  
WHOOSH  
  
BAM  
  
THUD  
  
"Ugh!"  
  
"YOU KNOW, I'M FREAKIN STANDING RIGHT HERE, YOU INSENSITIVE JERK!"  
  
Kagome stomped off into the woods to clear her head. She looked like she was headed toward the bone-eater's well. "She's probably going home." Sango commented. Miroku nodded in agreement.  
  
"Let's go see if we can catch up to her before she goes, OK Shippo?" Sango asked the little fox demon.  
  
"Sure."  
  
While they were walking away, Sango muttered discreetly to Miroku "Will you please try and get Inuyasha to stop being such an idiot?" "I try everyday of my life." He rolled his eyes. Sango shrugged and carried on walking. Miroku kneeled on the ground to talk to his thickheaded friend.  
  
"You know, you really have to stop doing that." He commented.  
  
"HWERT WHOS, MEERAWU!!!" Inuyasha yelled into the dirt.  
  
"Didn't catch that. Don't speak stupid."  
  
Inuyasha finally lifted his head out of the earth, "Why I oughta-"  
  
"Will you just shut up?" Miroku smashed his staff between Inuyasha's eyes to get his attention.  
  
"I know I'll pay for that one later." He thought. While Inuyasha was incapacitated, Miroku decided that that was the opportune time to get the stubborn idiot to listen.  
  
He was wrong.  
  
"You know, you're not all that tough, once you get to know you."  
  
"Gonna kill you Monk." Inuyasha mumbled.  
  
"I think you just worry too much."  
  
"Smash you into the 30 nearest trees."  
  
"If you were to just relax a little, I think you could act like a decent person."  
  
"Light your body aflame. That'll be fun."  
  
"Inuyasha, are you even listening to me?" Miroku asked, a bit on the frustrated side.  
  
"Nope. I'm planning your death. Don't worry, it'll be long and painful.Hmm, never mind. I guess a long and painful death would give one cause to worry. Sucks to be you."  
  
"I suppose. Before you slay me, why don't you just pay attention to what I'm saying for a minute."  
  
"Talk." Inuyasha sighed. He tuned in while he sharpened his claws on a nearby rock. What? He had to be ready for when the Monk stopped talking, right?  
  
"You worry too much." Miroku stated.  
  
"Huh?" That one took the half dog demon for a loop. He'd never heard that one before.  
  
"You worry too much." Miroku reiterated. "I think if you just loosened up, you'd be a nicer person."  
  
"Where are you going with this, Monk?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously.  
  
"I thought you'd never ask." Miroku stood up and turned his back to Inuyasha. Suddenly, everything went dark, even though it wasn't even noon yet. Then, a bright light from out of nowhere shined down on Miroku. He turned only his head back towards Inuyasha and said...  
  
"Hakuna Matata  
  
Hakuna Matata  
  
Hakuna Matata  
  
Hakuna Matata  
  
Hakuna Matata  
  
Hakuna Matata!!!"  
  
He whirled around and started to snap his fingers to the suddenly existent beat of music. Inuyasha's eyes widen in terror as he watched the Monk dance toward him.(If you've ever seen Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and have seen Carlton dance, then you know why Inuyasha is so scared.)  
  
"When I was a cool young one,  
  
I worked in the colony, paid my dues  
  
Accepted without question of prevailing views  
  
The young man life was one more ride"  
  
"Oh my god." Inuyasha muttered. Miroku had lost it, completely. Why on earth was he singing and dancing?!?!?!  
  
TO HIM!!!  
  
"Digging holes, standing guard  
  
Didn't cross my mind!  
  
I was wrong  
  
All along  
  
All that I needed  
  
Was to have heeded..."  
  
Inuyasha could feel tears welling up in his eyes as Miroku threw off his Monk robes to reveal tight black leather pants and a sparkly red, half way buttoned, long baggy-sleeved disco shirt (Ricky Martin wannabe? Oh yeah...)  
  
"Hakuna Matata!  
  
What a wonderful phrase!  
  
Hakuna Matata  
  
Ain't no passing craze."  
  
"WHAT ON EARTH IS HAKUNA MATATA! AND WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE GOD-AWFUL CLOTHES?!?!?" Inuyasha cried, covering his now very un-virgin eyes.  
  
"It means no worries  
  
For the rest of your days!  
  
It's my problem free  
  
Philosophy  
  
Hakuna Matata!"  
  
"I've had enough. I am so outta here!" Inuyasha shouted. "There's gotta be something in the water." He grumbled as he got up to leave. That's when Miroku threw his staff right at Inuyasha's feet. In a matter of 10 seconds, Inuyasha tripped, Miroku miraculously found rope, and tied our doggie-eared friend up tighter than a convict in a Texas prison (no offense to any one in Texas) to a tree, slapped an anti-demon spell on the rope so he couldn't get out, and gagged him.  
  
And then Miroku, to add to Inuyasha's contaminated memory that will haunt him for the rest of his life, did the Electric Slide.  
  
Yes, friends, the Electric Slide.  
  
Oh the horror.  
  
"AAAGGGHHH!!!" Inuyasha screamed into his gag. He never thought he would die this way. He always imagined lots of blood, and swords, and other violent crap like that. Not his best friend in a shiny shirt dancing like a pansy. Where the heck did he learn to do that? And for the love of the Shikon no Tama, WHERE THE HECK WAS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM?!?!?!  
  
"When I was a shallow youth  
  
I yadda yadda for perfection  
  
I was never no good  
  
Yadda yadda yadda  
  
"What, you don't know all the lines?" Inuyasha tried to say. But since he had the gag in his mouth, it came out as "Moh, woo whon oo aww ba wines?" Apparently, Miroku didn't care. So he just carried on.  
  
"I put my best foot forward  
  
while the other one stood still  
  
Take my word  
  
I have heard  
  
All that I needed  
  
Was to have heeded..."  
  
Miroku spun around, kicking his feet up every so often. He did moves I can't even describe to you, my friends. Poor Inuyasha will never look at him the same way again.  
  
"Hakuna Matata!  
  
What a wonderful phrase.  
  
Hakuna Matata  
  
Ain't no passing craze.  
  
It means no worries  
  
For the rest of your days!  
  
It's my problem free  
  
Philosophy!  
  
Hakuna Ma-"  
  
"Miroku?" someone called from a little ways away. Just then, the music stopped, the sun decided to shine on more than our unpredictable friend, and Miroku's regular clothes were on.  
  
"Miroku?" Sango called as she stepped into the clearing the two boys were in with Shippo on her shoulder. Everything looked normal. Miroku was meditating, the birds were singing, and Inuyasha was...  
  
Inuyasha was tied to a tree.  
  
OK, maybe normal wasn't the correct word.  
  
Sango looked at Inuyasha for a minute, saw his plead for help in his eyes, wondered what on earth happened to the poor boy and.  
  
Kept walking.  
  
Peaceful.  
  
THAT was the correct word.  
  
Sango knew she'd pay for that one later, but could you really blame her? Peace and quiet was not common in that part of the village. If it wasn't Kagome and Inuyasha fighting, it was Miroku and Inuyasha fighting. The girl just wanted some time to think. And Inuyasha tied and gagged to a tree would help significantly.  
  
"Umm...Miroku?" Sango asked before she stepped into the hut.  
  
"Yes Sango?" he cracked open one eye, so as not to disturb his "meditating"  
  
"Kagome went back to her own time before I could catch her."  
  
"Oh, alright."  
  
Sango went inside the hut. About 2 minutes later she stuck her head outside again.  
  
"Hey, Miroku?"  
  
"Yes Sango?"  
  
"Was it hard to get Inuyasha tied up like that?"  
  
"No, not really."  
  
"Then could you do it more often, please?"  
  
"WHEY!!!" Inuyasha grunted.  
  
"Sure." Miroku answered.  
  
Sango smiled and went back inside, leaving Miroku to his meditating and Inuyasha to his tree, never guessing what had taken place only 5 minutes previous. Had she known, maybe she wouldn't have teased Inuyasha about his sudden case of twitchy eyes.  
  
Especially common when Miroku was around.  
  
Those boys were a little too weird to figure out.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 3  
  
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Ok, I'm sure you've all noticed by now that this was not the original song sung in the Lion King. Honestly, this just went better with the direction of this fic. Plus I highly doubt Miroku would be singing about when he was "a young wart hog" and his little "problem": That was just too much for my poor little brain to handle. Anyways, hit that button that says 'Submit Review' and we'll all be happy campers. By the way, Guess what! I just turned 16! (Whoo-hoo! My birthday was Saturday. I'm gonna actually start driving soon  
  
Saffron Spice: Everyone stay OFF the roads...stay off the sidewalks too, now that I'm thinking about it, if you value your lives.  
  
Shiroryu: HEY! 


	4. Puppets Anyone?

Hey all.  
  
First off, I wanna say, wow.  
  
I mean, WOW!  
  
13.  
  
13 reviews since the last time I updated.  
  
Jeez Louise!  
  
Talk about happiness!  
  
You guys are great. Did you know that? Absolutely great. I love each and every single one of you. So here's a shout-out to everyone:  
  
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dark-of-stars: I wouldn't call it ruining the Disney songs. Corrupting them? Of course. But never ruin. Hmm. "Shall Inuyasha ever recover from such a horrifying and traumatizing experience?" The real question is, would you? And as for Miroku, well, I certainly hope you'll never look at him the same. Ricky Martin *shudders inadvertently* Where do I come up with these things?  
  
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xo-Kagome-ox: *hands xo-Kagome-ox a tissue* Here, wipe your eyes. How can you read if your crying? What's more, how can you review if you can't see? Yes, it isn't everyday you see a monk dressed like Ricky Martin, singing Lion King songs. In fact, that's has never really happened to me. Woe to the person it does happen to, though. Thanks, I had a very happy birthday. Just hearing/reading people say/write it makes me super happy.  
  
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Terra Secora: 0_~!  
  
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Terra Secora: 0_~! Isn't it great? Are you scared yet? You will be.  
  
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Terra Secora: ... told ya you'd be scared.  
  
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Kenny: Why thank you very much. And thanks for the birthday shout-out. You guys are so sweet! The driving is gonna be great! Anyways, you mentioned something about Disney love songs? You want some Disney love songs? Well, stick around. Definitely getting around to that. But you'll probably be VERY scared, more than saying anything along the lines of "Aww!" But whatever. Disney love songs are Disney love songs. Here for the corrupting.um.I mean, "tweaking"  
  
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tashy911: Hey, tashy911. It's me again too. What a coincidence . -_~! I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I hoped everyone would. I was laughing my head off while writing (but quickly had to reattach it so I could continue) Thanks to you too for the birthday shout-out. I swear, I love you people. Yeah, I hope I have success in driving too. I.wait a minute.whaddya mean "try not to hit anyone or anything on the road or anywhere you go in a car"!!! You sound like Saffron Spice! I am NOT gonna hit anyone! You should've seen my score in Crazy Taxi!  
  
Saffron Spice: You hit 12 people in 4 minutes!  
  
Shiroryu: *pouts in a corner* It was only 10!  
  
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Queen of All Chipmunks: Muffins? Whaddya mean "muffins are alive"? I freakin ate a muffin today! You and my sister are psycho! Why rule rodents when you can exploit them instead? And as for Darby, you don't wanna meet her. She's as crazy as the day is long. And why do the chipmunks have to be evil? I like chipmunks. Like Chip and Dale. How could those two be evil? And one more thing: Has anyone EVER heard of a hairless monkey? Seriously. Moving on, yeah, no problem. I like writing this story and glad you like it. (even though so far my sister still has yet to write a single paragraph...)  
  
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Fishie02: *helps Fishie02 back in their seat* Here, you can't be on the floor! *Gives Fishie02 an oxygen mask* And you definitely need to be breathing. How will you read and then review if not? A belly dance? *Shudders for the 2nd time today* I'm not even sure if that's legal or not. Plus Kagome would probably try to stick one of her arrows up my... uh, never mind. Let's just say I want to remain arrow-free.  
  
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Beautiful-Stranger01: "The hills are alive"...and people say I'M scary? Honestly, don't you think if the hills really were alive, the government would notice? I would definitely be screaming my head off if the hill I'm on now decided to start singing. Anyway, I'm really happy you like the story. I work hard to please my readers. And my readers can please me by reviewing. That way, we're all getting pleased... OMIGOSH, I just reread that sentence. DISREGARD THAT!!! DIDN'T MEAN IT!!! Oh dear...  
  
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Inu_Angel: Is this soon enough for you? *Hands Inu_Angel a tissue also* people, people! You can't cry! You won't be able to read and review! So you can imagine Miroku doing the Carlton too, huh? I thought that just put the frosting on the Cinnabon when I came up with it. Delighted it worked for everyone else too.  
  
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tashy911: Hello again. Long time no hear. You were wondering when I was gnona update. Well, um...today. You'll find out what happens to Kagome in this chapter. Be warned, I cannot be held responsible for any eyes popping out due to the content in this chapter. But I will take credit for all side splits.  
  
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loudnproud223 : Hello sweetie! *Hands cousin a diaper* We definitely don't want you to pee your pants while reading. That would be scary and we have enough scary stuff in this story as it is. You guys got robbed?! I'll hunt down the scoundrel that did this and bring him/her to justice. NO CINNABONS FOR THEM FOR THE NEXT 50 YEARS!!!  
  
Wow. That took quite awhile. But I enjoyed it. So make sure I get to do it again, OK guys?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the song used in this chapter.  
  
Attorney: Wow. Are you feeling OK? It usually is like pulling teeth to get you to admit that.  
  
Shiroryu: I'm on Benadryl. That crap does stuff to me. One time, I was screaming that I was gonna fall off my bed cuz I thought it was titling. So I'm a little disoriented.  
  
Attorney: Really? *Goes out and buys 50 cases of Benadryl*  
  
Shiroryu: *whispers to readers* Not really on Benadryl at the moment (although it does do stuff to me) Just needed a break from my attorney. Shh...  
  
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Kagome heaved herself up from out of the well. "That stupid, no good for nothing, arrogant, pig headed..." she muttered darkly under her breath as she opened the doors to the well house into the warm evening sky. She trudged up to her house, opening her front door.  
  
"...lazy, idiotic, ego-centric, dim-witted..."  
  
"KAGOME!!!" her little brother shouted. He rushed to her, nearly knocking her over with a huge embrace.  
  
"Oof!" "Did you bring Inuyasha with you? Where is he? Did you fight with him again? I bet you did. You probably started it, didn't you? You can be so mean to him Kagome! No wonder Gramps says you'll never get married! What's the matter with you? If you'd stop being so terrible to the poor guy, maybe he'd stick around more often! You are SO gonna die all alone, you old bat!" Souta said in one breath. Before Kagome could utter one word, he huffed off, rather heated.  
  
"Huh? Whaddya mean 'never get married'?"" she said, some of his rapid speech sinking into her brain.  
  
"Oh, Kagome! I'm so glad you're back!" Her mother rushed to greet her. She hugged her daughter, then held Kagome back from her, as if inspecting her.  
  
"Whatcha doing Mom? Is something wrong?" Kagome asked, wondering what her mother was looking for.  
  
"No, nothing's wrong. I'm just trying to see if you're with child yet." Her mother answered nonchalantly.  
  
???  
  
"MOTHER! I WOULD NOT BE CARRYING INUYASHA'S CHILD!!!" Kagome screamed.  
  
Her mother raised an eyebrow. "I never said Inuyasha's child."  
  
Kagome could feel her cheeks go red. "Nice one." She thought to herself.  
  
"So have you two done anything that might have the repercussions of pregnancy?" Mrs. Higurashi casually inquired.  
  
???  
  
"Do you mean, have we DONE IT?!" Kagome asked, absolutely appalled.  
  
"Well, I'm pretty sure I had the talk with you. I remember using those puppets; should I get them again? Do we need to go over it again? Do you not know what I'm talking about?"  
  
"NO MOM, I DO NOT NEED ANY MORE SEX EDUCATION!!! ESPECIALLY NOT WITH PUPPETS NAMED THE MR. BLUEJAY THE BIRD AND MRS. BUMBLE THE BEE!!!" Kagome shrieked at the top of her lungs. She could not believe she was actually having this conversation with her mother. About IT, of all things.  
  
"Kagome, I would appreciate it if you would stop yelling like that. I still haven't gotten around to talking with Souta. I don't want you to ruin the surprise."  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes as she stomped up the stairs to her room. She sighed as she plopped on her bed, tired and aggravated. "My family is crazy." she said, closing her eyes and willing all her frustrations to go away. Instead, she just fell asleep, thinking one thing, "There's gotta be something in the water..." She woke up about 20 minutes later to a soft "knock, knock" on her door.  
  
"Come in!" she called from under her pillow. She looked up to see her mother, grandfather, and brother all queued in a row at the foot of her bed.  
  
"Kagome?" her mother tried timidly.  
  
"Yes, Mom?" Kagome asked, sounding rather exasperated.  
  
"We want to know, how're things going with Inuyasha. Last time you said he was getting much better. You even told me you kinda liked him.  
  
Kagome sat up, and gave her mom a sad look. "If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that."  
  
"It can't be all that bad Kagome." Her brother reasoned with her. "Just try a little harder."  
  
His older sister sighed, "No man is worth the aggravation. That's ancient history, been there, done that."  
  
Her family looked at each other and before you say, "Huh?" Souta hit the switch in her room, causing a disco ball to come down from her ceiling.  
  
"When the heck did they do that?" she thought as she got momentarily mesmerized by all the colorful dots of light in her room. Just when she was about to voice this thought, her family gave each other a quick nod, turned to Kagome and...  
  
"Who you think you're kidding?  
  
He's the earth and heaven to you  
  
Try to keep it hidden  
  
Honey we can see right through ya  
  
Girl you can't conceal it  
  
We know how you're feeling  
  
And who you're thinking of"  
  
...they sang.  
  
More singing.  
  
More singing in unison.  
  
Oh dear...  
  
Once Kagome got her over her initial shock and registered what they were trying to get across, she jumped to her feet and yelled, "No chance, no way! I won't say it! No, no." Gramps walked forward and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.  
  
"You swoon, you sigh  
  
Why deny it?  
  
Uh-oh"  
  
Her eyes got wide. Did Gramps really just sing to her? What happened to him being totally against any demon of any sort? Now he was singing on Inuyasha's behalf? Oh come on! She'd seen stuff like this on a soap opera recently. (minus the musical accompaniments) Talk about an overdone plot. "It's too cliché. I won't say I'm in love." Instead of answering, her family just went  
  
"Sha la, sha la  
  
Ooooh"  
  
She wondered what they were waiting for, now accustomed to the insanity a bit. She thought about how they wanted her to get together with Inuyasha. But she'd tried that before. Know what happened? Her heart was spilt in two, and he ran after Kikyo, again. Before she could stop herself, she heard her voice sing out,  
  
"I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
  
It feels so good when you start out  
  
My head is screaming  
  
"'Get a grip girl!  
  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out'"  
  
She clapped her hands over her mouth, not knowing where the heck that had come from. What scared her even more was, she knew for a fact she couldn't carry a tune to save her life. Dying cats had nothing on her. So why was she belting it out now? There was definitely something in the water. She plopped on her bed and grabbed her teddy bear. The only one in the room not singing.  
  
"I swear, if you sing too, I'll throw you out the freakin window." She thought threateningly to her bear. Her mother sat down on the bed next to her.  
  
"You keep on denying  
  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
  
Baby, we're not buying  
  
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling  
  
Face it like a grown-up  
  
When ya gonna own up  
  
That you got-"  
  
"Got-" Souta and Grandpa offered back up at this point.  
  
"Got it bad?" they sung together. Jeez.  
  
Her mother gave her a look. You know, the ones mothers ALWAYS give. The one that says, "I know more about what's going on with you than you do, so just listen to me." The one that makes just about every teenage girl want to scream.  
  
Kagome glowered indignantly. They didn't know didily squat about what was going on! How could they tell her what to do? Feeling heat rising in her cheeks, she ground out dangerously (but still singing)  
  
"Whoa...  
  
No chance, no way  
  
I won't say it  
  
No, no"  
  
And yet, for some reason, thinking about Inuyasha calmed her down a little. At least enough so she could think clearly and not land herself in jail for first degree murder of her entire family. She smiled lightly at the thought. Souta shook his head, almost pityingly.  
  
"Give up, give in  
  
Check the grin  
  
You're in love"  
  
Kagome wiped the smile off her face. Glaring severely at her now gone completely mental kin, she jumped back up from her bed and stormed out of her room, singing  
  
"This scene won't play  
  
I won't say I'm in love"  
  
She raced downstairs, listening to her family thundering after her and singing.  
  
"You're doing in flips  
  
Read our lips  
  
You're in love"  
  
Kagome opened the front door, yelling back at them,  
  
"You're way off base  
  
I won't say it!"  
  
Gramps looked at his daughter-in-law. "She won't say it."  
  
By now Kagome was sprinting for all she was worth to the safety of the silent well house. She slammed the door and sunk against it to the floor.  
  
"Get off my case  
  
I won't say it!"  
  
She heard a solitary set of footsteps outside walking slowly towards her. Well, at least it wasn't the entire entourage. She could hear her mother on the other side sing softly, as if she were singing to a new born,  
  
"Hon, don't be proud,  
  
It's okay you're in love"  
  
And with that she walked back toward the house, leaving her oldest daughter to her thoughts.  
  
Kagome stared down the well. What was that feeling tugging at her heart? Suddenly, she realized. Suddenly she knew just what her family was talking about. She sat down, resting her back on the well and whispered so softly, even she almost missed it.  
  
"Oh...  
  
At least out loud,  
  
I won't say I'm in  
  
Love..."  
  
END OF CHAPTER 4  
  
Hope that chapter was worth the wait. Don't forget to review. And a piece of advice: While waiting for me to review, you guys are aware that I have other equally entertaining stories, right? Word of caution, I got a couple of tears over "Unsaid" and "Beyond Repair" If you're not into really sad stories, stay away from those two and head over to "Arms Wide Open" "Only Hope" and "Just Those Rainey Days" Those are my funny ones. If you forget to review I'll have my sister sic her ridiculously imaginary pet chinchilla Darby and her band of hairless monkeys faster than you can say "That Cinnabon is to go." 


	5. Soda? I think not!

Hey all! Shiroryu of the Moon and Saffron Spice here with another installment of "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water" Hurrah! Readers: ... Shiroryu: Ok, ok, I know. It's been awhile since I've updated. Not my fault. See, I'm doing this story way differently than my other ones. In this one I haven't written the whole thing ahead of time. I hate that I've done that, but I really liked this story and wanted to get it out to the public A.S.A.P. So, you'll have to work with me. Not to mention my muse decided to go on vacation for a week and only called a few times. So I had very short bursts of creativity. Much thanks for your patience.  
  
And now for the shout-outs:  
  
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SM Together: Yeah, we wonder what she took too.  
  
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SM Together: Probably  
  
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SM Together: Thank you very much. We try.  
  
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SM Together: Yeah, we fixed that. Fanfic.net can be a real pain sometimes.  
  
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xo-Kagome-ox: Very happy you enjoyed the chapter. We love it when our readers are satisfied with our work. So we'll keeping working and you keep reading and reviewing, ok?  
  
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Kenny-D: Yeah, this chapter wasn't really meant to be as funny as the other ones (I honestly don't think anything can top Miroku's little song and dance...) But hey, we try. Glad the chapter brought back memories. I LOVED Hercules. Now THERE'S a great story.  
  
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Terra Secora: ya never know. It could just be some type of terrible allergic reaction to-  
  
Saffron: oh shut up.  
  
Shiroryu: can it!  
  
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Sango-chan Chimpmunk Queen: *blink, blink* Is there something in YOUR water?  
  
Saffron: Oh leave her alone! She and her chipmunks rock!  
  
Shiroryu: This coming from a girl who owns an imaginary chinchilla named Darby who happens to rule over all the hairless monkeys in the world.  
  
Saffron: You'd better believe it!  
  
Shiroryu: Yes, this story wasn't as funny as the last ones. We felt if we made them all like the other ones, the story would get TOO ridiculous (although it's definitely treading in dangerous territory as it is)  
  
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loudnproud223: Popsicle sticks? I don't even wanna know how my aunt dealt with that one. I'd just prefer to forget I ever found out about that. Yep we read and reviewed one of your stories. And it was great as usual. Everyone reading: Go read my cousin's work. She's REALLY good (she's a Harry Potter authoress)  
  
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dark-of-stars: *turns to sister*  
  
Shiroryu: suck-up?  
  
Saffron: Definitely.  
  
Shiroryu: That's ok. We still love you and are updating just for you (and our other reviewers)  
  
Saffron: Don't you feel special?  
  
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daddys lil angel: ri-ight. What is it with you people and rodents? Has anyone ever heard of a dog?  
  
Saffron: Back off!  
  
Shiroryu: You worry me. You know that, right?  
  
Saffron: *sniffles* Yes.  
  
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Pak: if you think it's confusing now, you haven't seen ANYTHING yet. The chaos has only just begun! But we'll try and help you become a little less confused, ok?  
  
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wizogirl202004: *stares at screen*  
  
Shiroryu: *whispers to her sister* What on earth is she talking about?  
  
Saffron: Um, she thinks we misquote her.  
  
Shiroryu: But we don't even quote reviewers!  
  
Saffron: Oh, ok. I see. She left a review and she must've thought we were quoting it.  
  
Shiroryu: So she doesn't know?  
  
Saffron: I don't think so.  
  
Shiroryu: *speaks in regular voice* Hon, we weren't misquoting you. We know you didn't say "OK, will do." WE did. Reviewers leave reviews and we comment on each one. We don't quote anyone. So we will never have to worry about writing your words correctly, because that's not what we do.  
  
OK, that was 13! You guys are awesome! PLEASE keep it up and we'll keep punching out the story, OK?  
  
Disclaimer: Saffron: just let me do this.  
  
Shiroryu: Why?  
  
Saffron: Because we always get into a huge argument with your lawyer.  
  
Shiroryu: Fine *stomps off*  
  
Saffron: We don't own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. We also don't own the song used in this chapter. Disney does. We're just having fun combining the tow for yours and our entertainment.  
  
Shiroryu: *snorts in background*  
  
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Kagome stared at the well, listening for her psychotic family's footsteps to come back. What on earth possessed them to do that anyway? What's more, what possessed her to actually sing? She NEVER sang. It was against everything she believed in. At least everything she believed in up until she was five. After that, things went downhill. She could still remember her sixth birthday party...  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Happy birthday dear Kagome! Happy birthday to you!" all her relatives and friends sung to her. The now 6-year-old Kagome beamed brightly at her party guests. Six was a huge deal. Now she could play with the big kid's toys in the HappyMeals at McDonald's without her mother fearing the poor girl would choke on the small pieces. (But in her defense, making the toys so darn shiny and round was just asking for a 3-year-old to shove it as far as they could down their throats. Wouldn't you want to eat something round and shiny too?...Thought so.)  
  
"Make a wish sweetie!" her mother coaxed as she held baby Souta to her hip. Kagome closed her eyes and made the number one wish of her life. She wanted, more than anything, to go on Star Search and become a famous singer, just like Madonna...  
  
Um, well maybe not JUST like Madonna...  
  
*shudder*  
  
Kagome blew the candles out. "So what did you wish for?" her best friend Lorraine asked.  
  
"Oh Kagome, you're not supposed to-"  
  
"I wished to be a wonderful singer." Kagome interrupted.  
  
"-say your wish out loud." Her mother finished.  
  
"Well, let's hear what you've got!" her uncle cheered. Everyone in the room chanted for her to sing.  
  
And that's where it all went downhill.  
  
Maybe she shouldn't have interrupted her mother.  
  
Lord knows she needed that wish to come true.  
  
Kagome quickly picked a song and opened her mouth.  
  
That's when she sung.  
  
And that's when the gates of hell were opened upon the unsuspecting public.  
  
"SOMEwhere oVEr the raINBow..." she belted out. It was, without a doubt, the most horrific thing any human being had to endure. Compared to that, the Reign of Terror, both World Wars, and Armageddon combined sounded like a walk through the park. Kagome sang for a full 3 minutes, and in those 3 minutes, she drastically changed the lives of everyone within 100 feet of her.  
  
Birthday guests: 0_0  
  
Her mother: 0_0  
  
Souta: @_@  
  
As Kagome continued to cause permanent damage to everyone's eardrums, her grandfather (who'd been asleep in the next room) came out screaming. In his hand, he held his famous anti-demon spells. He took one look at Kagome and yelled over her to everyone, "Don't look! She's been possessed by a demon! I'll exorcise it!" and with that he slapped about a dozen all over her face. You'd think that'd be bad enough, huh?  
  
Silly, silly readers...  
  
"Whee-whoo! Whee-whoo!" sirens could be heard coming in their direction. In a matter of 30 seconds, about 20 of the TPD (Tokyo Police Department) busted the front door down.  
  
"EVERYONE DOWN!" They yelled as they pointed their guns at the occupants in the room.  
  
No one moved.  
  
"NOW!!!"  
  
At once, everyone was on the floor with their hands over their heads. "Where is he?" the sergeant (or so he looked like) yelled in Kagome's uncle's face. Unfortunately, Kagome's uncle was a bit too fazed from Kagome's little show to say much besides "Blublublub!"  
  
"We got a call from a neighbor saying that something terrible was going on over here and she thought it was a mass murderer."  
  
Still no one said anything.  
  
"And we got a call coming from this residence with the simple words, 'Oh god, make it stop. It hurts!' Any ideas?" the sergeant growled.  
  
Everyone turned around to look at Lorraine with her hand still on the phone trembling. "I'm sorry." She whispered. Then went into a dead faint.  
  
"What happened here?" the sergeant demanded again. At once, all pointed to Kagome.  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
"My uncle is still in the loony bin because of that." She thought out loud. She shook her head. That was something she would not mind throwing in the vast abyss fondly known as forgotten childhood memories. Unfortunately, she had to have wonderful anamnesis and the image of seeing her uncle strapped in a stray jacket and hauled off to Sakura Petals Asylum was one that would forever taint her memory.  
  
So obviously, after such a traumatic experience, one would never sing again, right? Well, that's what Kagome had resolved to do. Problem was, her mouth wasn't listening to her brain.  
  
After a good hour of contemplating, she decided it was better just to forget about the whole thing and never let it happen again. She stood up, stretched, walked quietly outside the well house, and crept to her house. Everyone was sure to be asleep by now, so it was the opportune time to sneak into her room. As she ran up the stairs, remembering to skip the third step (because it creaked like crazy) she thought about why she was still there. "Maybe I should just go back." She thought to herself while opening her door. There on her bed was her ridiculously large yellow backpack, looking noticeably heavier than when she had returned.  
  
"Looks like my family had the same idea. Ouch." She mused aloud. She ran downstairs to pack a few more essential items (first-aid kit, schoolbooks, ramen, homework, extra undies, ramen, light reading material, socks, and a little ramen)  
  
She then ran back up the stairs, lifted her backpack and trudged toward the well. Getting down the stairs was hard enough, but going up that blasted hill would be a pain in the- (insert word of choice here)-! Especially now that it had gotten so dark. She could barely see two feet in front of her. So you can imagine her relief when suddenly her backpack was lifted from her.  
  
Now, imagine her terror once she realized her backpack was lifted from her.  
  
"Aaahhhh!!!" She screamed. She swung around and decked the helper/thief right in the mouth.  
  
"Ow!!!" she heard them grunt.  
  
"Get away from me or I'll call the police, you thug! I know karate! I'm a black belt. With a purple dot!"  
  
Instead of high tailing it away from the psycho who obviously took imaginary karate classes, the "thug" just turned around with Kagome's stuff.  
  
"Hey, give that back! I swear, you're messing with the wrong woman tonight!" she yelled as she followed them toward the well house.  
  
"Will you just shut up? Gods, you can be such a stupid wench sometimes!" the person grumbled.  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
"Well who the heck else who it be?"  
  
"Rapist, ax murder, pedophile, serial killer, burglar, Hojo."  
  
"I don't even know what half of that stuff is and I can tell you think too much. Talk about pessimism. I thought you humans stuck together. Where's your faith in humanity?"  
  
"I'll tell you where my faith went. Down the toilet along with my goldfishes."  
  
"Why?" Inuyasha asked before he could stop himself. He didn't think he really wanted to know.  
  
"Four words: the eleven o'clock news."  
  
Inuyasha just shook his head. Yep, he definitely hadn't wanted to know.  
  
"What are you doing here, anyway?"  
  
"Coming to get you, stupid." By now they were standing next to the well and Inuyasha was readying himself to jump through the portal leading to his own world. Kagome stopped him by tugging on his sleeve. "That's not what I mean. I meant, why are you here? Didn't we just have a really big fight?"  
  
"You really don't like to let things go, do you?"  
  
"Inuyasha, you insulted my grandmother's death, not to mention you called me a cow."  
  
"Stubborn cow if memory serves me correctly." He muttered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, I was talking to Miroku when I said that."  
  
"I was standing right there!"  
  
"Mmm hmm..." he said, not paying attention to her.  
  
"Those were some really hurtful things you said back there. I mean, seriously, you can be so-"  
  
"I'm sorry." Inuyasha interrupted.  
  
Kagome's mouth dropped. Well, that's an understatement. Kagome's mouth almost detached from her jaw completely and fell through the wooden flooring. Her ears were apparently playing tricks on her. No way did he just...  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Jeez, are you deaf? I said, I'm sorry."  
  
She definitely heard it that time.  
  
Kagome stared at Inuyasha, not knowing how to respond. Hearing an apology from this boy without him being under hypnosis or extremely drunk seemed like something she'd only see the same day Miroku announced he was gay.  
  
"Oh dear..." she whispered as she thought about how Sango was reacting to the news about Miroku.  
  
"What? Is it really that amazing to hear me say I'm sorry?" Inuyasha said, getting aggravated.  
  
"Yes."  
  
*growl*  
  
"But I'm glad you did." She gave him a hug and jumped down the well, not noticing how stiff the poor guy had become. He followed once his torso decided to loosen up. He floated through the preposterously colorful lights, seeing Kagome just a few feet ahead of him. He really didn't like the trip going through. The lighting made it seem really sissy-ish. So he was happy when he hit solid ground and looked up to see the stars shining brightly overhead, signaling he was once again home. He leapt up gracefully and landed next to Kagome beside the well. "Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that portal?" He asked.  
  
"Yes. About 20 times." She replied. She rolled her eyes and started off towards Kaede's. Inuyasha followed, jumping through the trees while she walked through the grass. After a couple of silent minutes, they reached the village where Shippo came careening non-stop until he collided with Kagome.  
  
"Oof!"  
  
"KAGOME!!!" Shippo cried. He nuzzled her neck with his nose, sniffling every once in a while.  
  
"Shippo...what's the matter?"  
  
"I thought the dog-face had made you leave forever."  
  
"Hey! Say that to my face, you little squirt!"  
  
"Help!" he scrambled to Kagome's shoulder and stuck his tongue out at the moody half-demon.  
  
"Stop it, both of you. You two act like little kids." Kagome sighed.  
  
"Hey Kagome. Glad you weren't gone long this time." Kagome turned around to see Sango coming toward her, smiling widely.  
  
"Yeah, you can't get rid of me that easily."  
  
"Feh."  
  
"I'm gonna go to Kaede's." Kagome said. She walked off, leaving Sango and Inuyasha behind.  
  
"Pleased to see you took my advice." Sango said smugly.  
  
"Feh, what do you know about it anyway?" without waiting for her reply, Inuyasha stomped off, leaving a smirking Sango behind.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Is it almost done yet?" Shippo whined. He watched as Kagome stirred the yummy stuff in the pot some more.  
  
"Shippo, I told you the last 46 times you asked, it'll be done when it's done" Kagome said, a hint of exasperation in her voice. He was almost as bad as Inuyasha. Shippo sat in the corner and pouted. Feeling a little bad for the little guy, Kagome dug into her backpack and tossed the fox demon a chocolate bar.  
  
"Don't ruin your appetite!" she said as he ran off to devour his favorite treat. As Shippo ran, he bumped into Miroku and Sango who were sitting in a clearing together, enjoying the stars.  
  
"Hmm...and what might you two be doing?" Shippo asked, suspicion none too discreet in his voice.  
  
"Sitting." Miroku said casually as he glanced over at Sango who suddenly wouldn't make eye contact with him.  
  
"What have you got there, Shippo?" Miroku asked.  
  
"Chocolate from Kagome's time."  
  
"You know, I've never seen it up close. You eat it too fast. Might I have a bit?" Sango inquired. She reached her hand out to the little boy when he all of a sudden snapped at her with his teeth.  
  
"It's MINE!" he growled as a hint of foam dribbled between his bared fangs.  
  
"Ok, ok!" Sango said as she moved away from the deranged child. As he opened it, a piece of paper fell from the wrapper.  
  
"What's that?" Miroku picked it up and examined it.  
  
"I don't care. It's not chocolate." Shippo said through mouthfuls.  
  
Miroku unfold the piece of paper and read out loud, "Dear Shippo, hopefully you found Sango or Miroku to read this note to you. I knew you'd eat this chocolate since Kagome isn't too fond of the stuff."  
  
"She's crazy." Shippo commented as he continued his disgusting attack on the helpless candy bar.  
  
Miroku rolled his eyes as he read on "So, whichever of you is reading this, I hope you'll help me. You see, all of us back in the future know Inuyasha and Kagome were meant to be. But as fate would have it, they themselves don't. So, I packed two liters of soda for them to drink. In actuality, it's saki mixed with a little vodka and anything else I could find in my "late night party" cabinet. My plan is to get those two really drunk, let their passion interrupt their senses, and mate like happy gerbils all night. Then, bada-bing, bada-boom I'm a grandmother in nine months. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, stay away from the drinks. And stay away from those two while you're at it. I WILL be a grandmother before a year is up. And NO ONE will stand in my way. GOT IT?! Well, happy travels,  
  
Love, Mrs. Higurashi."  
  
Sango: *blink, blink*  
  
Shippo: *chomp, chomp*  
  
Miroku: *sigh, sniffle*  
  
"What's the matter with you?" Sango asked.  
  
Miroku looked up at her with tears in his eyes. "WHY CAN'T ALL MOTHERS BE LIKE THAT?!?!?!" He wailed.  
  
*BAM!*  
  
Hiraikotsu laid a few feet away as the monk pulled his head out of the tree.  
  
"What was that for?" he demanded rubbing the back of his now very purple head.  
  
"For being such a pervert."  
  
He just shook his head.  
  
"So, what do we do?" Shippo voiced as he licked his fingers from the gooey brown stuff.  
  
"Let them go at it like 'happy gerbils all night'?" Miroku offered.  
  
*BAM!*  
  
"No what was THAT for?" Miroku yelled.  
  
"You shouldn't say such things in front of a child!"  
  
"What? She said it, and you're not attacking her with your blasted boomerang!" he shouted, pointing at the letter.  
  
"Well, there's not much I can do about that."  
  
Miroku just sighed and said to himself, "Let the games begin."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Is it almost done yet?" Inuyasha grumbled from outside the hut.  
  
"Yep, he sounds just like Inuyasha." Kagome muttered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, it'll be done when it's done."  
  
"That's not good enough. I'm hungry! I want what I want when I want it and I want my ramen now!"  
  
"Sit."  
  
*WHOOSH*  
  
*BAM*  
  
*THUD*  
  
"Ugh! What was that one for?"  
  
"You're bugging me. If you're that hungry, find something in my backpack to snack on." Inuyasha grumbled some more as he rummaged through Kagome's things.  
  
"Crap."  
  
"Crap."  
  
"Crap."  
  
"And even more crap." He said uninterestedly as he threw the things that he didn't want aside.  
  
Kagome's vein in her forehead started to throb as she wondered "Exactly why did I want to come back again?"  
  
"Hmm...What's this?" Inuyasha held up two large bottles.  
  
Kagome looked up to see what he was talking about and frowned slightly. "Oh, that's soda. I don't remember packing that. Oh well." She shrugged it off, just deciding to go with the flow. "We can have that with our dinner. Pass one of those liters over here, will you Inu-"  
  
*GULP*  
  
*GULP*  
  
"Hey, that's pretty good!" Inuyasha sighed contentedly as he tossed the two empty liters aside.  
  
Kagome's jaw dropped. How on earth had he just downed two entire liters of sodas in 2 seconds? What's more, how come he didn't save everyone some? Especially her!  
  
"Hey, you big jerk, I wanted one too!" Kagome snapped.  
  
"Too bad. You should've (hiccup) finished my (hiccup) ramen a little sooner (belch)."  
  
"You're such a pig!"  
  
"(hiccup)"  
  
"Just get out!" Kagome started throwing things at his head. She became a little scared when they all just ricocheted off of his head while he sat there with a goofy grin on his face.  
  
"What's wrong with you?"  
  
"What's (hiccup) wrong with me? What's wrong with the (hiccup) pretty little daises is what you should (hiccup) be circumnavigating. If it wasn't for those blasted (hiccup) chipmunks I could've (hiccup) eaten breakfast (hiccup) before the cows came home."  
  
Kagome: o_O *blink, blink*  
  
Inuyasha swayed slightly as he stood up. "Whee! Circles are (hiccup) fun!" and with that he walked outside. Kagome stared after him not really sure what to do. She would've continued to stare if the ramen hadn't decided to boil over at that precise moment. "Oh crap." She blew the fire out, spooned the yummy noodles into bowls, and called for everyone. "Hey guys! The ramen's ready!" She heard a low rumble that sounded like thunder. She walked outside to see if it was going to rain. Instead of looking up, she was mowed over by two very hungry humans, and semi-hungry fox demon, and a ravenous, slightly tipsy half demon. When she picked herself up, she turned to see everyone digging at their food like a pack of wild wolves.  
  
"You guys' table manners suck." Kagome commented dryly as she dusted herself off.  
  
"How long have you been there, Kagome?" a surprised Sango asked through a mouthful of chicken flavored noodles.  
  
Kagome: *anime drop*  
  
Once Kagome picked herself up yet again, she realized everyone was still going at it like crazy. Well, everyone except Inuyasha. Inuyasha was sitting with his bowl in his hand, staring at the ramen he loved so dearly. "Hey Inuyasha, what's the matter? Why aren't you eating?"  
  
At her inquiry, everyone stopped in mid-slurp to stare at their friend. Usually he'd be through his 4th bowl by now. But he still had his first serving and he hadn't touched it. He slowly stood to his feet, made his way over to Kagome and almost gave everyone a heart attack.  
  
Did he offer his food to Kagome?  
  
No.  
  
Did he strike her?  
  
No.  
  
No my friends, he did something much, much more psychotic.  
  
"Come stop your crying  
  
It will be (hiccup) alright.  
  
Please take my hand  
  
Hold it (hiccup) tight.  
  
I will protect you from all around you  
  
I will be here, (hiccup) don't you cry."  
  
He gently stroked Kagome's face as he sang softly.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Let's reread that sentence, shall we?  
  
"He gently stroked Kagome's face AS HE SANG SOFTLY."  
  
As if the first half of that sentence wasn't bad enough...  
  
Yes friends, our brave, heroic, powerful hanyou we've come to know and love had succumbed to the effects of alcohol.  
  
Or in other words...  
  
Inuyasha was drunk.  
  
Really drunk.  
  
Really, really drunk.  
  
And he was singing.  
  
Sango, Miroku, and Shippo stared in sheer horror.  
  
Kagome thought she would die.  
  
It wasn't that he couldn't sing. He actually had a very nice voice (although compared to Kagome's, EVERYONE had a very nice voice) The thing of the matter was, this was INUYASHA. And he was singing. There was something very wrong with that picture. So to make things even worse, he slipped past Kagome outside twirling around with his bowl. After a few spins, he slowed down, looked into his soup and gave everyone within a 10- mile radius a near death experience.  
  
"For one so (hiccup) thin  
  
You taste so good  
  
My arms (hiccup) will hold you  
  
(hiccup) Keep you safe and warm  
  
This bond between us  
  
Can't be (hiccup) broken  
  
I'm gonna be here  
  
Don't you cool."  
  
Ok, it was bad enough that he was singing. But somebody please tell me he wasn't singing to his RAMEN!  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
He was.  
  
"Cuz you'll be in (hiccup) my heart.  
  
You'll be in my heart  
  
From this day (hiccup) on  
  
Now and forever more."  
  
Villagers nearby came out to see what all the noise was about. When they saw the arrogant, violent, psychotic half demon singing to something in his bowl, they all quickly went back inside. He was obviously being possessed. So better him than them, right?  
  
Right.  
  
One little girl had enough gall to yell out to him "What are you doing?" before her mother screamed, picked her up and ran inside of their hut. Inuyasha looked at the people sadly through extremely dilated pupils. Tears began to well up in his eyes as he gently caressed his bowl and sang out,  
  
"Why can't they understand  
  
The way (hiccup) we feel?  
  
They just don't trust what  
  
They can't (hiccup) explain.  
  
I know we're different  
  
But deep (hiccup) inside us  
  
We're not that different at (hiccup) all!"  
  
Shippo jumped into Sango's arms and cried hysterically. Sango herself just stared, still in shock. Miroku was contemplating whether or not to use his Wind Tunnel on this new demon, since it obviously wasn't Inuyasha. Kagome wondered if all the battles they had fought finally caught up with him and made Inuyasha go clinically insane. So what Inuyasha did next did not exactly help quell their fears.  
  
In a remarkably high voice (similar to that of Michael Jackson's) Inuyasha screeched out,  
  
"Cuz (hiccup) you'll be in my heart  
  
You'll be in my heart  
  
From this day on  
  
Now and forever (hiccup) more.  
  
You'll be in my heart  
  
No matter what they say" *points at everyone and glares here*  
  
You'll be right (hiccup) here in my arms  
  
(hiccup) Always."  
  
Kagome stood up and slowly walked over to the demented boy she once knew as Inuyasha. Cautiously (not sure if sudden movements would alarm him or not) she put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"It's OK Inuyasha. It's just ramen. Just a silly little bowl of ramen. Nothing more, nothing less."  
  
At her words, Inuyasha's gaze hardened somewhat and he pushed Kagome's hand off of him. He ran a couple of feet away from her and whispered rather loudly to his ramen,  
  
"Don't listen to them  
  
Cuz what do they (hiccup) know?  
  
I need you Ramen  
  
To love, to eat  
  
They'll (hiccup)see in time  
  
I know, we'll show them together!"  
  
He stretched out his hands and twirled again with his ramen, giggling like a little schoolgirl. He pranced here and there. He skipped there and here. All was like paradise. For him anyway. Everyone else saw it as a glimpse of hell.  
  
"Cuz you'll be (hiccup) in my heart  
  
You'll be in my heart  
  
From this day on (hiccup)  
  
Now and forever mo-"  
  
At this part, Inuyasha, having been playing the part of a wanna be ballerina, dropped his precious ramen. It all happened in slow motion. The bowl slipped from his hands. As it made its agonizingly slow decent towards the earth, the juicy noodles raced forward, spilling themselves all over the grass. Inuyasha (in that deep voice people get when they're going in slow motion) yelled out,  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
He fell to his knees in horror. "What have I (hiccup) done?" he cried.  
  
Kagome ventured toward him again. She was about 3 feet away when he shook his fists at the heavens.  
  
"Blast you! Why? (hiccup) Why?!" He looked back down at his fallen pasta, eyes wide with disbelief. "RAMEN!!!" He screamed. He fell forward, scooping his wet noodles into his arms.  
  
"You were so young. So very (hiccup) young. Why?" He murmured in the grass. He lifted his soiled face up and met Kagome's startled brown eyes.  
  
"So the fish has laid its hands (hiccup) upon the nostrils of integrity? The moon waits for no (hiccup) stone. All is (hiccup) fair in crap and food. And after it's all (hiccup) said and done, I will still be (hiccup) just another grain of sand in the eye of a (hiccup) woodpecker. So, the moral of the cookie is-"  
  
*THUD*  
  
*snore*  
  
And with that, Inuyasha toppled over and fell asleep in mid-rant. He fell face first in his precious noodles and snored away.  
  
Miroku, Shippo, and Sango all made a silent vow that day. No matter how much Mrs. Higurashi wanted grandchildren, they would NEVER let Inuyasha touch anything even slightly alcoholic again. Inuyasha and Kagome would just have to go at it like happy gerbils on their own. When he wasn't under the influence. This was just too much strain on the heart and shock to the brain. It was just an aneurysm waiting to happen. They all also made a vow not to tell Kagome about the alcohol. They felt it'd be less...well...weird that way.  
  
And everyone knew not to mention a thing to Inuyasha. They all just decided to leave the poor guy sleeping in his noodles and pretend the last 15 minutes never happened. The little girl who had asked Inuyasha what he was doing peeked out of her window to see him dead to the world in the middle of the clearing. She turned around and called inside to her mother, "Mama, I think there's something in the water!"  
  
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~  
  
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First off, just so everyone knows, the song we used is from Disney's Tarzan, only with Usher's version. (SOOOOO very hot!!!) Moving right along, how'd you guys like it? I thought it was good. My sister and I think the chapter with Miroku was the funniest, then this one, then the one with Sango, then Kagome's. What do you think? Tell us in a review. We'd like to see which order you guys think. So just push the button. EVERYBODY'S doing it.  
  
Saffron: Are you trying to use peer pressure on the readers again?  
  
Shiroryu: ...no.  
  
Saffron: They're not gonna come back if you don't stop doing that.  
  
Shiroryu: Oh what do you know? YOU still haven't written a chapter!  
  
Saffron: ...I don't wanna talk about it.  
  
Shiroryu: I'm sure you don't. 


	6. Let's Call Him Frank, Shall We?

Hey all,  
  
Sorry it took so incredibly long to get this chapter out. My muse decided to take off and left me hanging. Plus, a lot has been happening. I took my CAHSEE's (California High School Exit Exam) and was completely insulted by the entire thing- 2 days of worth of testing English and Mathematics for 3 hours straight- seriously, this test was sooooo easy! If we didn't have to stop at those ridiculous intermissions, I would've finished with an hour and a half to spare. Honestly! Apparently California high school students have been having a hard time passing the darn thing, so they made it a cinch to pass. But is it really necessary to make it at kindergarten level? (exaggeration, of course) So that's one of my excuses why I haven't updated. Wanna hear the second?  
  
Audience: NO, not really. Just get on with the story.........  
  
Shiroryu: Hey! It's REALLY good.  
  
Audience: We don't particularly care.  
  
Shiroryu: The more you resist, the longer I'll ask "are you sure?" and then we'll never get to the story.........  
  
Audience: Fine, if you must.........  
  
Shiroryu: Just found out my mom is pregnant!!!  
  
Audience: Aww......... Ok, that was worth the wait. Congratulations!  
  
Shiroryu: Thanks. It's a boy. I'm so excited. It'll be the first boy in the family, save for my father. I have 2 younger sisters: Saffron Spice-13, and Alexis-6. I'm ecstatic. So much in fact, that I'm gonna get on with the story. Right after my shout-outs  
  
Audience: Thank you.  
  
Shiroryu: You're welcome.  
  
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Dark of Stars- you? Lazy? NEVER! Not exactly sure what an "asphyxiation" is, but it doesn't sound too good. So why don't you hold off on that until AFTER this story is done. Then you can have as many "asphyxiations" as you want.  
  
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crazy4dogboi- sure I'll check out your story. As soon as I have time. Actually I was thinking of putting that song in here. But I don't think you'll like who'll be singing that song. Jeez, I don't think I'll like who'll be singing that song.  
  
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Lalena- *hands Lalena a tissue* I'm not quite so sure it's a good thing that you're as twisted as this story is. Cuz that means you're as twisted as I am. And the mental institution is looking for me. So I wouldn't tell too many people how twisted you are. Glad Jorj liked the story too. I think Myron and Reese (my pet monkeys) would like to meet an invisible horse. They get so excited so easy. Anyways, have fun digging your hole. Make sure you bring me back some orange chicken.  
  
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SM together- I meant for her to be that way.  
  
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Terra Secora- No, it's definitely the water. No doubt about it. I should know. I drank it.  
  
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Jochnap- *switches light bulb over Jochnap's head off* Don't even wanna go there.  
  
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Kenny –D- holy crab cakes! What is with you people? Are you and Queen of All Chipmunks the presidents of "Evil Rodents United" or something? Rabid squirrels? Anyways, I know this wasn't updated as quickly as it should've been, but my reasons were legit. This one's especially for you (and everyone else who reviewed.0 Don't you feel special?  
  
*  
  
chevere- so you liked Inuyasha getting drunk better than Miroku in his Ricky Martin outfit? Well, I'm pleased that I could bring you joy and make it very difficult for you to keep up your façade of normalcy. My work is complete.  
  
*  
  
seikkyokuka- Inuyasha with a hangover. Now there's a thought. Evil, but the potential hilarious outcomes are nearly too irresistible for me.  
  
*  
  
xo-Kagome-ox- THE funniest?! Really? No lie?! Well, I have no idea how to respond to that, except thanks! Really happy that you're enjoying yourself. Thanks again!  
  
*  
  
Briea- we are gonna have to do something about that. How unfortunate would that be to electrocute yourself because you were laughing so hard over a keyboard and cried on it? And as for what you said in Spanish: .........O_O? You know I hate speaking Spanish. After I accidentally called my teacher a whore while trying to say the word boot, I have been forever hesitant to talk or write in the language.  
  
*  
  
daddys lil angel- you want me to bring the noodles back? Well, I'll see what I can do.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Disclaimer: I am so tired. I've decided to declare that I do not own Inuyasha. He's just on loan. But I know he really wants to stay with me. Inuyasha loves me.........  
  
Don't look at me like that.  
  
He does.  
  
Oh, screw you all!  
  
*  
  
A/N: And now for the highly anticipated, long awaited, Inuyasha-integrated, (probably overrated) next chapter of "There's Gotta Be Something In The Water"  
  
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Kagura looked out across the courtyard. "I hate it here." She said softly. She twiddled around with the feather in her hair, looking as bored as can be.  
  
"Kagura........." she turned around to see her sister's deadpanned expression.  
  
"What Kanna?" she asked exasperated. Even though Kanna was older than her, the girl looked no older than 8 years old. She never spoke, unless it was necessary. And even then, it was short sentences. To sum up, Kanna freaked Kagura out.  
  
"Naraku wants to see us." With that, Kanna walked slowly towards Naraku's main quarters as her sister followed.  
  
"What does he want?" Kagura asked. She was answered in silence. "Nice." She thought. After 3 or 4 minutes of walking, they finally got to the door that opened to their master/father's chambers. They knocked and heard a voice within call out, "come in". As soon as Kagura opened the door, thousand upon thousand of creepy crawlies swarmed over their feet. Worms, beetles, snakes.........just flat out gross.  
  
"Eww!!! That's disgusting." Kagura said as she made a move to step on a particularly nasty looking beetle. To her great surprise and horror, the darn thing caught her foot to keep it from smashing him, looked up, and said, "Well, you're not that great looking either." With a toss, he pushed her foot to the side and kept scuttling across the floor.  
  
Kagura: O_o?  
  
Kanna: -_- .........  
  
"Jeez, Naraku. That's gross." Kagura stated.  
  
"Just shut up and come here." Naraku barked. She rolled her eyes and grudgingly trudged forward. "So, what dirty work are we being sent out to do this time? Kill Inuyasha? Destroy Inuyasha? Eliminate Inuyasha? Get some milk?"  
  
"Your attempts at humor annoy me." Naraku hissed. Without any warning, Kagura's beating heart was squished inside of her chest. Coughing and spluttering as she writhed on the ground, she made a desperate try to save her life. "I'm- sor-sorry." She gasped out. Her master stared at her with the look of utter distaste strewn across his face before he dropped the bloody heart back in its container, creating a chain effect that released Kagura from certain death.  
  
"That will teach you to watch your mouth." With no further thought to his servant, he turned to Kanna. "I have figured out how to beat Inuyasha."  
  
"Like we haven't heard that one before." Kagura thought.  
  
"What was that?" Naraku glared at her.  
  
"Nothing." She answered. "What a bastard." She thought.  
  
"Do you need another lesson?"  
  
"What the heck is this moron talking about?" she thought. "No." she replied.  
  
Kanna walked slowly over to her sister. In a small voice, she said, "You are fully aware that you're thinking out loud, right?"  
  
"........."  
  
"I didn't think so." Kanna sighed. And people wondered why she didn't speak so much? Honestly. Her sister was probably schizophrenic, her so called father had multiple personalities, was a kleptomaniac, and kept producing kids with abnormalities, with no mother to speak of. Her last "brother" turned out to be xenophobic and tried to kill them all. Her second to last "sister" was afraid of the color yellow. In her opinion, Kanna was the only fairly normal one. Yes, she had a disturbing love of shiny, pointy objects and fire, but being a pyromaniac wasn't something most people knew about her, so there really wasn't a problem.  
  
She snapped out of her thoughts when Naraku handed her a glass full of water. "What's this?" Kagura asked as she peered suspiciously into her own glass.  
  
"Water. Can't you tell?" Was Naraku's reply.  
  
"What's wrong with it?"  
  
"Your ungrateful attitude is trying."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Naraku rolled his eyes. "As I was saying, I know how we're gonna defeat Inuyasha."  
  
"........."  
  
"Glad you asked." He said sarcastically. "We're going to attack Kagome."  
  
"How?"  
  
"At night. She's Inuyasha's heart. If we can get to her, we can win. Plus, I can take out my revenge on her for what Kikyo did to me."  
  
"What did she ever do to him?" Kagura thought.  
  
"You're thinking out loud again, stupid."  
  
"Bastard."  
  
"You did it again."  
  
"Meant it that time."  
  
"Wanna die?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then shut up."  
  
"........."  
  
"How do we do it?" Kanna asked, to keep the peace. Jeez, these people were making her talk more in the last 10 minutes than she had all week.  
  
"We're gonna get into her head. Give her nightmares. And while she's under our control, we attack the unsuspecting group."  
  
"So, how'd you come up with that one?" Kagura inquired. Naraku gave her an evil grin (although any time that man smiles, it's evil) "I'm so pleased you asked."  
  
He gulped the last of the water he had poured himself. Suddenly his dark, musty chamber was filled with murky looking fog. Naraku was completely hidden in it. Kagura looked at her sister, but quickly averted her eyes when she heard something so unimaginably random and psychotic, it made her head swim.  
  
"In the dark of the night  
  
I was tossing and turning.  
  
And the nightmare I had was a bad as could be  
  
It scared me out of my wits  
  
A corpse falling to bits  
  
Then I opened my eyes  
  
And the nightmare was me!"  
  
Kagura's eyes got wide as she spluttered for the second time that day. "Wha- ?" Before she could finish her sentence, some of the smoke cleared away to reveal Naraku walking forward, outfit completely changed. He was wearing a long, black cloak and his eyes were closed. Now, Kagura wouldn't have been so very worried if the long, black cloak were just a regular long, black cloak. There's nothing wrong with Naraku wearing a long, black cloak. Nothing at all. Until someone sprinkles glittery sequences all over said long black cloak. That's when you know something's wrong.  
  
Kagura was about to inadvertently voice this observation when Naraku's eyes shot open to stare at her. Startled, she kept her mouth shut.  
  
Maybe she should've said something.........  
  
"I was once the most corrupted man  
  
In all Japan  
  
When Kikyo denied me she made a mistake  
  
I'll make everyone pay  
  
But one little girl's in the way  
  
Little Kagome beware  
  
Naraku's aware!"  
  
Kagura's eyes got even wider (as if it were possible) She wanted to say something. Really, she did. But for some reason, the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth.  
  
Hmm.........  
  
Now what could make Kagura shut up?  
  
HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING?!?!?! NARAKU IS SINGING!!!  
  
SINGING!!!  
  
SINGING!!!  
  
Yes, we realize when Inuyasha sung, that was pretty bad. But at least he was drunk. What's Naraku's deal? This goes WAY beyond mood swings. This was flat out evil incarnate. Kagura opened and closed her mouth, trying to find something to say, and looking like a dying fish as a result. So what happened next made her look like a fish having a seizure  
  
"In the dark of the night  
  
Evil will find her  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
She shall fall short"  
  
Um.........  
  
Remember that beetle at the beginning? And how he talked to Kagura. Well, as of that moment, he had scuttled back into the room with the rest of his fellow disgusting things and.........  
  
They.........  
  
They sung.........  
  
I swear, they were singing.........  
  
Obvious, talking wasn't the only thing that beetle could do.  
  
Yelch.........  
  
Naraku, being completely unfazed by the singing insects around his feet, went on in his baritone voice,  
  
"Revenge will be sweet  
  
When my work is complete.  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
She'll be gone!"  
  
During this whole ordeal, Kanna had stayed silent and emotionless. Now you must really ask yourself, "Self, how on earth can a person not have any emotion whatsoever while listening this evil Naraku sing?"  
  
Answer:.........I have no idea.  
  
Kagura, on the other hand, was far from being "cool, calm and collected" She blinked in surprise at first, as any one else her predicament would. Then, she felt her own head, to make sure she wasn't running a fever. She left her hand on her head as she watched Naraku flex his fists and looked at them in wonder. Kagura knew he was slowly regaining the powers of the demons he had lost for a while after the jewel had disappeared 50 years ago. But was there any real need to voice that aloud?  
  
Apparently, Naraku felt there was.  
  
"I can feel that my powers are slowly returning  
  
Time I sash  
  
And a dash of cologne  
  
For that smell.........  
  
As the pieces fall into place  
  
I'll see her crawl into place  
  
Sayonara Kagome, your grace  
  
Farewell........."  
  
Kagura finally took her hand off her head. To fully assess the situation, she needed to be completely alert. So once she was done assessing, she figured out one and only one thing. Naraku had lost his mind.  
  
His 6-legged minions obviously didn't share the opinion, as they were crawling up the walls in synchronization. The bugs were actually dancing! Some were doing the Charlie Brown, others were perfecting the fine art of the can-can, and some were break-dancing.  
  
Yes friends, break-dancing.  
  
One had a terrible mini wig on that resembled something one might see on an old episode of the Brady Bunch. After Naraku had sung his little bit, the insects did back up.  
  
"In the dark of the night  
  
Terror will find her  
  
("Terror's the least I can do!" Naraku rung out.)  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
Evil will brew!"  
  
Kagura: *blink, blink*  
  
Naraku suddenly jumped up on the chair in the room to get a better view of everyone. He spread his arms out wide and actually twirled around. As if that was unfortunate enough to read about, much less see, poor Kagura witnessed the long, black cloak's shiny sequences glittering all over the place. Then, Naraku clutched his hands to his chest and sang:  
  
"Soon she shall feel  
  
That her nightmares are real  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
She'll be through!"  
  
Kanna: -_-.........  
  
The bugs continued to crawl around in harmony, making the carpet look like it was alive. Just when Kagura thought it could get no worse, it did.  
  
How?  
  
A strobe light.  
  
Yes, a strobe began going off, giving the entire ordeal a sort of surreal look (as if it wasn't freaky enough on its own.........)  
  
Now, you might be wondering, where might one find a strobe light in the middle of the feudal era of Japan?  
  
Answer: ......... Yet again, I have no idea.  
  
"In the dark of the night  
  
Evil will find her  
  
("Find her!" The bug with the bad Brady Bunch wig belted out)  
  
"In the dark of the night  
  
Terror shall doom!  
  
("Doom her!" Let's call the bug with the wig Frank, OK?)  
  
Kagura impatiently tapped her foot on the ground. Alright, now that the initial shock had more than just worn off, this was getting old. (And that blasted strobe light was starting to make her feel tipsy.........) She sighed heavily as Naraku started the next verse of his evilly psychotic musical  
  
"My dear, here's a sign  
  
It's the end of the line  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
("In the dark of the night........." Frank sang)  
  
Kanna too was growing weary of all of this. She wanted more than anything to just leave and find a nice rock to talk to.........  
  
Er.........  
  
Scratch that last remark.........  
  
She and Kagura had had enough and sorely wanted it to end. They felt they couldn't be surprised anymore than they had been. So imagine their terror and how traumatized they were later on in their lives when Naraku reached inside of one of his cabinets to reveal a long, black (thankfully unlike Naraku's cloak: non-glittery) cylinder. He looked at Kagura's confused expression and decided to explain himself for once. "I received this from the Dark Forces."  
  
Kagura cocked an eyebrow, "Aren't YOU the 'Dark Forces'?"  
  
Naraku: *blink, blink* "Well, yes. I am."  
  
"So you just gave it to yourself?"  
  
"Maybe one of his many personalities gave it to him." Kanna thought to herself. Unlike her sister though, she was able to keep the thought inside of her head.  
  
Kagura watched Naraku impatiently, wondering whether or not he was gonna answer the question.  
  
Instead of answering, Naraku glowered, turned around, and talked to his little present from himself.  
  
Kagura: O_o?  
  
He suddenly threw open the top and spread his arms out wide as he struck up his ridiculously long tune again.  
  
"Come my minions  
  
Rise for your master  
  
Let your evil shine!"  
  
Out of the cylinder came Naraku's "minions"  
  
Was it something terrible?  
  
(Not particularly.)  
  
Something evil?  
  
(I wouldn't use that word.)  
  
Something unimaginable?  
  
(Oh yeah.........)  
  
Naraku's wicked minions from hell turned out to be none other than...  
  
.........  
  
.........  
  
The local woodland pixies.  
  
Not a snake.  
  
Not an incurable virus.  
  
Not even anything with fangs.  
  
Pixies.  
  
Kagura: O_o?  
  
Naraku threw his head back and laughed insanely as the pixies flew all around him. Bright reds, oranges, yellows, blues, greens, and purples contrasted horribly with the drab, gloomy interior of the room. One particularly pissed pixie (aren't alliterations fun?) whizzed by Kagura's nose, barely missing it. It landed in front of Naraku with a sour look on its face.  
  
Now, before I go on, let me explain that pixies are usually very peaceful, nice creatures. They always have smiles on their faces, magic in their hands, and a tune in their hearts. Just all around friendly creatures.  
  
Got a mental image of a pixie?  
  
Good.  
  
"Naraku," the pixie in front of him started. "What the $%&* do you think your @$$ is &*#$ doing? I was just *#%&$ sitting there, minding my own &#!$% business when you and your sorry $%^&* comes along and %&*^$ my #@%&^ !!! You piece of @#$%!!!" the pixie roared.  
  
Word of advice: Don't tick off a pixie.  
  
Naraku stood there silently while he received verbal whiplash from a 6- inch, rainbow clad , potty mouthed, magical person. After the pixie quieted down bit, he took the opportunity to speak. "I'll say this once, and only once. If you agree to work with me, to do my biddings, and serve me, I will give you back the lands the fairies and the elves stole from you during the War of the Charmed. You will once again the be the supreme rulers of the surreal realm, answering only to me."  
  
The pixie stared at Naraku like he'd lost his mind. "And tell me, you *&$%, how do you presume to retake the land we've been struggling to control for eons?"  
  
Naraku smiled widely. "Four words: The Shikon no Tama."  
  
"The Jewel of Four Souls?" The pixie asked incredulously.  
  
"Yes." He reached in his pocket to show over half of said jewel. "With the power I'll gain, I can do anything."  
  
The pixie looked at it doubtful. "It's not even whole yet."  
  
"It will be soon enough. The question isn't when I'll finish it. The real question is, whose side will you be on when I do?"  
  
The pixie scratched its chin in deep thought for a few moments. The rest had long since stopped buzzing around the room and had seated themselves in various places, including one who had accidentally fell while sitting on the edge of a large glass jar with something pickled and green inside. While it spluttered around in who knows what, its leader was finished contemplating.  
  
With a slightly suspicious look, it offered its hand out to Naraku, and saying with much dignity, "We have an accord."  
  
Happily, Naraku shook back.  
  
"What will you have us do, Master Naraku?" One of the pixies spoke up.  
  
With a glimmer of malevolence in his eyes, he asked simply, "Have you heard of the priestess Kikyo's reincarnation?"  
  
"The one that travels with the half breed, son of the great dog demon from long ago and brother to Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands?"  
  
"You're talking about my sworn enemy, Inuyasha. Yes, that's him. But I speak of the reincarnation, Kagome."  
  
"Yes, we know of her."  
  
"Then go, give her a visit. One she'll never forget."  
  
One of the pixies dressed in all yellow looked confused. "Shall we bring a gift?"  
  
"A gift? Why?"  
  
"Well, aren't you supposed to bring a gift whenever you visit a human?" the pixie asked with great concern.  
  
"No! Just go and kill her!"  
  
"Wait a minute, I thought you said you wanted us to visit her!" the lemon colored pixie protested.  
  
"I did." Naraku said, getting exasperated.  
  
"The why would we visit her if we're gonna kill her? That's not right!"  
  
Naraku rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't visit it. Just kill her."  
  
"But we don't even know her!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, that's so mean! What did she ever do to us?"  
  
Was anybody wondering why the pixies lost the War of the Charmed? You shouldn't be.  
  
"She didn't do anything to you!" Naraku yelled.  
  
"So, why on earth should we kill her? That's like going up to an old lady and whacking off her head. Or stealing her wig. It's just not right!"  
  
Trying not to kill his newly acquired legion, Naraku took a deep breath. "OK, listen. Why don't you go out and find flowers for Kagome while the rest go and visit her? That way you can bring her a present."  
  
"But I thought you said-"  
  
"FORGET IT!!!" Naraku roared. "Just go to and find her a.........uh.........black rose."  
  
"Aren't those the most rare flower on earth?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How am I supposed to find it? Wouldn't it be better to give her a daisy or something?"  
  
"NO. She must have a black rose. She's very special. I saw one, one day."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"It was that way." Naraku pointed east.  
  
"OK." With that, the yellow pixie zoomed off toward where Naraku was pointed. After the pixie scraped itself off the wall after hurtling itself into it, it decided to use the door. Naraku turned to the other pixies. "Are any more of you that stupid?"  
  
They all shook their heads.  
  
"Excellent. Then I want you to go and kill Kagome!!!"  
  
Nodding their heads, they all took to the air and flew around the room, making the color along with the strobe light, almost unbearable to watch without losing an eye. With an evil laugh, Naraku threw his hands in the air and resumed where he left off in his seemingly never-ending song.  
  
"Find her now  
  
Yes, fly ever faster!"  
  
Now, everyone in the room joined in. (save for Kanna and Kagura) The beetles sung alto. The pixies covered soprano. And Naraku took care of tenor.  
  
"In the dark of the night  
  
In the dark of the night  
  
In the dark of the night.........  
  
("She'll be gone!" Naraku sung)  
  
And with the end of the song, the pixies soared out in an evil rainbow cloud. The insects scampered over everyone's feet to get back outside.  
  
Kanna, Kagura, and Naraku were the only ones left in the room. Naraku gave them a look, poured himself some water, titled the glass towards them, and drunk.  
  
"Aah........." he sighed. He picked up a couple of his voodoo dolls and walked out the room.  
  
Kagura and Kanna simultaneously looked at each other.  
  
Kagura: O_o?  
  
Kanna: O_o?  
  
Then they both looked in the glasses of water they were still holding and gave it a good sniff. Without a word, they both held their glasses away from the and overturned the whole cup, letting the water splash to the ground.  
  
"There's gotta be something in this water." Kagura thought.  
  
"I agree." Kanna said.  
  
* * * So, whatcha think? Again, I apologize for the major delay. If I had it my way, I'd update everyday other day for you guys. But, seeing as how that's not exactly an option, I'm doing the best I can. So, there ya go. BTW, I'm gonna go and see The Prince and Me, and Ella Enchanted, (has anyone else read that book? If not, then you should. If so, then isn't it great?) Can somebody please tell me when The Prince and Me comes out. I'm so very confused. 


	7. Evil Rodents United Together For the Des...

Hey all, What's shakin? I saw Ella Enchanted and The Prince and Me. Neither were that bad. I enjoyed Ella Enchanted more. But it shouldn't even be called Ella Enchanted if the writers of the movies aren't even gonna stick somewhere even remotely close to the original storyline... Honestly. Anyways, I'm gonna stop rambling. Here are the shout-outs:  
  
*  
  
jangray666: evil minion bunnies? Does it ever end with you people? Just how many rodents can you guys rule over? So, you have the tendency to sing out random songs from movies, huh? That's.........really freaky. But I still love ya (cuz you reviewed, ;-))  
  
*  
  
Ritoru Kani: So you like the yellow pixie? Good. I'm planning on having him make another appearance. And as for the Little Mermaid, let's just say I have a chapter already mapped out with a song from that movie. Hope you like (btw, this chapter isn't it)  
  
*  
  
xo-Kagome-ox: I'm so glad you lie what I've written so far. Makes me very happy when my reviewers are enjoying my work. The Prince and Me has already come out. It was cute, but clichéd. And you DEFINTELY need to read Ella Enchanted. I command you in the name of the Queen of All Chipmunk's chipmunks to go read it.  
  
*  
  
Queen of All Chipmunks: Hope you don't mind, I had to borrow your chipmunks momentarily. I have a list of things to say as well: Sorry, I'm working on that. Thank you very much I cannot BELIEVE I just gave you that idea. If the yellow pixie's IQ is equal to that of yours, than I must say I am deeply concerned about your mental state of affairs. Great book. My favorite! If you sic your chipmunks on me, then how will I update? I think you'll like this chapter. Specially dedicated to you and everyone else who has threatened me with rodents of mass destruction  
  
*  
  
Skyraptor66: Glad you like it and yes it is.  
  
*  
  
LadyRainStarDragon: I love your name. It is so cool. And if you think THIS is scary, prepared to be terrified!  
  
*  
  
When Inuyasha woke up the next morning he noticed quite a few things were wrong.  
  
He was sleeping on the ground He didn't remember how he got on the ground He had a splitting headache It looked like it was the middle of the day Someone seemed to have turned the sun on "Extra Bright" that day His breath was (to say the least) not morning fresh He couldn't remember what he did last night He had no idea exactly where he was  
  
But the most pressing issue he was trying to deal with was trying to understand precisely why was he sleeping head first in mushy noodles, and grasping a bowl like it were his lifeline?  
  
Yeah, he was most worried about that one.  
  
So with a grunt, a moan, and a push, Inuyasha heaved himself off the ground.  
  
Then came crashing back down  
  
Great, now he was dizzy as well.  
  
Slowly he worked himself into a sitting position and peered around him. Was there a particular reason why there was an annoying sloshing sound going around? He swerved his head left and right (and later regretted it) to see where the water noise was coming from. It took poor Inuyasha a full three minutes to figure out it was coming from his own head.  
  
"AGH!!! My head is swimming inside my brain!" he yelped. Too concerned to rethink that sentence, he quickly stood up (which he also later regretted) and ran in a straight line toward the hut in front of him, which he finally figured out belonged to Kaede. So, you can imagine his great distress when he discovered running in this straight line directly towards the hut took him further away. And then closer. And then further away.  
  
"AGH!!! What is wrong with the world?!" He put his hands over his eyes and continued to run and yell.  
  
Now, had you been a villager at that moment, just going about your daily business, you would've seen the crazy man from last night (who gave you a heart attack by singing to his bowl) running around in large circles with his hands over his eyes screaming "What is wrong with world?!"  
  
Last time you checked, there wasn't too, too much wrong with the world, besides the occasional famine, war, death, disease, draught, and the inevitable fact that the world would one day crash into the sun. But that was nothing to scream about. So you figure, there's something wrong with the crazy man (as if the words 'crazy man' weren't a big enough clue) Or there was something in the water. Either way, you would have probably quickened your step and resolved to drink the water from the other villages only.  
  
The villagers in this situation did the same.  
  
Inuyasha did not seem to notice this as he continued to scream and run until one of his large circles got a little larger and he ran dead on into a tree.  
  
*BAM!*  
  
"That must've hurt." Miroku observed. He had been watching his friend for quite awhile now. It was really sad the different affects of a hangover had on people. For him personally, he would just sleep all day. For his father, he would have a ridiculous amount of energy, and then fall over asleep. Even Sango had a certain way to deal with hangovers. She would get extremely "friendly" with the first man she saw. Now, she had only got drunk once, and that was when Kagome and Inuyasha were in the future, and she swore she'd never do it again, but Miroku was definitely looking forward to the next time Sango asked him to "examine her teeth" Of course, she denied all accusations and vowed to make him a very sterile man if he ever mentioned that night to anyone. Boy did he like his women feisty.  
  
Kagome and Sango soon joined the unhelpful monk outside, wondering what the loud noise was. Kagome still was in the dark about why he was acting so funny. Was it something about ¾ moons that made him into an absolute psycho? Maybe there was something in the ramen, although the rest of them were fine. Kagome pushed the thoughts to the side as she grimaced while watching Inuyasha slowly slump to the ground after having made such an unfortunate encounter with that tree. In his defense, the tree was hard to see if one's hands were over one's eyes.  
  
Sango tried to hold back a giggle. She felt really bad for Inuyasha. Really, she did. But was it everyday you got to see the arrogant, macho-man ram himself into a tree after running around in circles?  
  
No, my friends, it wasn't everyday.  
  
But it as fate would have it, today wasn't "everyday". The group cautiously made their was over to their fallen friend and helped him up.  
  
"Kagome?" Inuyasha asked in a sort of daze.  
  
"I'm right here, Inuyasha. What's the matter?"  
  
"WHAT'S THE MATTER?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT'S THE MATTER?"?! DIDN'T YOU JUST SEE THAT PACK OF RABID SQUIRRELS AND CHIPMUNKS COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND RUN ME OVER?!?!?!"  
  
Kagome: O_o?  
  
Miroku: @_@.........  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
"Um, Inuyasha? Those weren't squirrels or chipmunks." Kagome said gently.  
  
"Like hell they weren't! I saw the tails!"  
  
"Inuyasha, that was a tree!"  
  
Inuyasha: _  
  
"THAT WAS NOT A TREE!!! TREES DON'T RUN PEOPLE OVER! EVIL RODENTS UNTIED TOGETHER FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND DO!"  
  
"Inuyasha, you weren't run over by anything. You ran straight into that tree." Miroku said calmly.  
  
"Did not!" Inuyasha said as he held his poor, rodent abused head.  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
"I have a question for you guys." Inuyasha said suddenly.  
  
"Ok, go ahead." Miroku said.  
  
"Why was I sleeping in ramen?"  
  
Kagome:.........  
  
Miroku:.........  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
"Uh.........because you were.........uh........." Miroku started.  
  
"Eating it in your tree! And then you, fell out of it, hit your head, and went to sleep on the ground." Kagome chimed in.  
  
"Oh. Ok." Inuyasha said simply. He stretched himself out on the ground, closed his eyes and went right back to sleep.  
  
"Oh dear........." Kagome said.  
  
"My sentiments exactly." Miroku agreed.  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Around dusk, Inuyasha woke back up feeling much better. He still had a slight headache, but at least when he got up and walked in a straight line, no rabid squirrels or evil chipmunks were there to run him over. He stretched a bit, and walked into the forest, catching Kagome's scent. He soon found the group in the woods, sitting around a nice, big bonfire.  
  
"Hey look! Inuyasha's awake!" Shippo yelled.  
  
Inuyasha trudged towards the group and took his usual seat next to Kagome. "Feeling better?" she inquired.  
  
"Feh."  
  
"Hey Inuyasha, what was that about last night?" Shippo asked. Everyone in the group froze. Shippo was gonna spill the beans!  
  
"What was what about, squirt?" Inuyasha replied mechanically.  
  
"You know, with Kagome. Why were you touching her face like that?"  
  
*anime drop*  
  
Inuyasha's eyes got wide. "Wha-?"  
  
Kagome's face went beet red. "Uh.........Shippo. That wasn't Inuyasha last night." She said to cover up for what was about to happen. Then she instantly regretted what she said. Inuyasha's death glare was turned full blast on her.  
  
"WHO WAS TOUCHING YOUR FACE?!"  
  
"Uh........." was Kagome's witty answer.  
  
"WHADDYA MEAN 'IT WASN'T INUYASHA LAST NIGHT'?! WHO ELSE WOULD IT HAVE BEEN?!" Inuyasha roared.  
  
"You don't understand. When I said it wasn't you, I meant, it wasn't anybody!" Kagome said quickly  
  
"Good." He murmured.  
  
"Why get so angry Inuyasha? Are you upset that somebody else might've been touching Kagome's lovely face?" Miroku raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Nobody is supposed to touch her except me!" Inuyasha blurted out before he could think.  
  
The entire group stared at him for quite a while as he thought about how that had come out.  
  
Nice one.  
  
After a pregnant pause, Inuyasha looked around, feigning innocence. "What? I meant, nobody should touch her except me, while we're gathering the jewel, because I don't' trust anyone. I don't care who touches her after we're done with it."  
  
Word of Advice to the Wise: If you're a guy, NEVER say anything even remotely that stupid. That, my friends, is how the Trojan War was started. By the stupidity of the male race.  
  
Now it was Kagome's turn to blast her own death glare on him. And lemme tell you, it was WAY worse.  
  
"Oh really?! So you don't care about me at all? You only care if it has to do with the stupid jewel, huh?"  
  
Inuyasha tried to think of something to say, but was at a loss for words.  
  
"SIT!!!"  
  
*Whoosh*  
  
*Bam*  
  
*Thud*  
  
"ugh........." Inuyasha breathed into the dirt.  
  
Kagome stomped off further into the woods to cool down.  
  
"He did a wonderful job messing that up." Miroku commented.  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
"OK, you've been doing that for the last couple of scenes. I'm starting to worry about you." Miroku said.  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
"Ri-ight........." Miroku rolled his eyes heavenwards and saw something very strange.  
  
What did he see?  
  
A very fast moving, multi-colored, hazy cloud. Raising an eyebrow, Miroku sniffed the air, and cried in a loud voice "I SMELL POLYESTER!!!"  
  
Everyone (excluding Kagome) looked up and saw the gaudy blur . "What the heck is that?" Inuyasha wondered out loud as the blob got closer. They all stood there as it finally landed and they could see that the blob was actually many, many colorful little people. They walked toward the stunned group and smiled. Their apparent leader, a little person dressed in bright purple with a big, brown bushy beard and a beer-gut, stepped forward and bowed  
  
"Sorry we're so late. I am Lorehaug, leader of the pixies."  
  
"Pixies?" Miroku asked, suddenly very interested.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Wow!" Miroku said, his eyes wide with disbelief.  
  
"What's the big deal about pixies?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"Pixies haven't been seen by anyone since the War of the Charmed." Shippo explained.  
  
"OK, whatever. What do they want?"  
  
Lorehaug cleared his throat. "You know, we are right here. You can ask us."  
  
"Fine, what are you doing here?" Inuyasha's patience was wearing thin.  
  
"Well, we're looking for someone. We would've been sooner, but Gailem just had to stop to get something to eat." Lorehaug pointed to a pixie with a short little goatee and wearing all green.  
  
"What? Tell me you didn't' want to stop at Mack and his Pot too."  
  
"Jack in the Box?" Shippo inquired, a bit confused.  
  
"No, Mack and his Pot. It's a little place owned by a leprechaun named Mack. Very stingy he is. Why advertise your pot-o-gold if you weren't gonna let anyone have any?" Lorehaug said, a bit on the disgruntled side.  
  
"Well, after that, we went to Fruity King." Gailem went on.  
  
"Fruity King? Do you have any idea how bad that sounds?" Inuyasha snickered.  
  
"Well, we didn't think about it until we went there. It was a little joint a few miles from Mack and his Pot. All kinds of different fruits there."  
  
"I'll bet." Inuyasha muttered.  
  
"Hey, you've been there too?" A pretty red pixie woman asked.  
  
"Hell no! Like I'd ever step foot in a place that had Fruity in its name." Inuyasha scoffed.  
  
"He looks like he would." A turquoise pixie giggled to another pink one.  
  
"I heard that!" Inuyasha growled.  
  
"You were supposed to." The turquoise pixie, named Yerwam retorted.  
  
"Why I oughta-"  
  
"Inuyasha, calm yourself. These beings are friendly, and much smaller." Miroku held his friend back.  
  
"I could easily step on them all." He sneered.  
  
"Right-o!" Yerwam rolled his eyes.  
  
Gailem, noticing how ugly this was about to turn, quickly changed the subject. "So anyways, that's why were so late."  
  
"What are you so late for? Were we supposed to be expecting you?" Shippo asked.  
  
"No, but we were supposed to be here this morning." Lorehaug said.  
  
"Again, what are you doing here?" Inuyasha was getting rather exasperated by now.  
  
"We're looking for someone." Lorehaug answered.  
  
"Well, who are you looking for? Maybe we could help you, right Sango?" Miroku asked.  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
Suddenly, a huge splash was heard from a little bit off. A wet, grimy, disarrayed young girl came stumbling out of the woods looking like who did it (?), why(?), and please don't let it happen again.  
  
"I hate streams when you can't see them." She muttered. She looked up to see her party had grown to about 45 since she'd left.  
  
"Um.........hi........." she said cautiously, wondering who those people were.  
  
Lorehaug and Gailem looked at each other, looked at their group, and then looked at Kagome.  
  
Lorehaug turned and yelled to his followers "GET HER!!!" All of a sudden all the pixies flew off in a blur right at Kagome.  
  
"AGH!!!"  
  
Before anyone could do anything about it, the pixies were attacking poor Kagome. Gailem was pulling strands of her hair out, Yerwam was biting her ear, Lorehaug was kicking her over and over again in the shin, and the rest looked like Armageddon. Kagome screamed and flailed about, calling for help.  
  
Where was her help?  
  
Just standing there.  
  
Miroku: O_o?  
  
Inuyasha: O_O.........  
  
Shippo: @_@  
  
Kirara: -_-  
  
Sango: ^_^! (what did you expect?)  
  
Suddenly they all burst out in hysterical laughter.  
  
Yes, they were quite the wonderful friends in an emergency. While Kagome was being thoroughly mauled by a band of polyester-clad, fruit-eating, psycho pixies, her friends stood there and laughed.  
  
"Help! Get the demon pixies off of me!!!" Kagome wailed as one gave her a nice kick in the pants.  
  
This beating lasted a full 4 minutes before the pixies got tired, decided to call it a night, told Kagome they'd be back, and flew off.  
  
And for a good 6 minutes after that, Kagome's friends continued to laugh at her. Poor Kagome had dragged herself over to the roots of a tree and was curled in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, mumbling something incoherent. She was probably more mentally damaged than physically. From that point on, Kagome could never bring herself to watch anything with pixies, fairies, leprechauns, elves, dwarves, or any other kinds of little folks. (Which meant she couldn't watch about half of her Disney movies anymore, no more Harry Potter, and even Orlando Bloom couldn't get her in a theater to see Lord of the Rings)  
  
After they were finished laughing at their friend's expense, Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo all walked toward her.  
  
"Kagome?" they asked.  
  
Her blank eyes continued to stared ahead. Her rocking grew faster. Her lips were moving nonstop with her mumblings .  
  
"Uh.........Kagome?" they tried again, getting a little more concerned about her. As they drew nearer they could finally make out what she was mumbling  
  
Very slowly, Kagome was softly singing (mind you she was completely unaware that she was singing), "Do your ears hang low? Can you flop them to and fro? Can you tie them in a -DEMON PIXIES!!! Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your ears hang –DEMON PIXIES!!!"  
  
Yes, at random intervals, Kagome would scream out "DEMON PIXIES!!!" Which in turn would scare the crap out of everyone within 20 feet of her vicinity.  
  
Kagome Higurashi, was a basket case.  
  
Almost too afraid to touch her, her friends stood over her, wondering just what the heck to do. It wasn't often she would have spasms like this. In fact, this was pretty much the first time it had happened.  
  
So, as you could imagine, no one really wanted to touch her, for fear she would have some type of a paroxysm and swallow her own tongue or her head would start rotating in frightening positions atop her head. But finally, Inuyasha worked up enough courage to bend down, scoop her up, and walk towards the campfire. He was surprised to notice that even when she was a mumbling vegetable, she was really pretty and smelt really good. What he wouldn't have given to stop and just inhale her. Realizing just how stupid that sounded, even in his own head, Inuyasha quickened his step and set her down in a proper sitting position. At least now she had stopped mumbling.  
  
As the group stepped back to figure out what to do, Shippo jumped in her lap and tried to cheer her up.  
  
"Hey Kagome." He said. Kagome continued to stare blankly ahead.  
  
He scratched his head, thinking about what he could do. He tried shadow puppets, impersonations (and received a good whopping around the head from Inuyasha for not capturing his "true essence whatsoever") he even tried a little comedy. And Kagome didn't crack one smile. Sighing, he said to himself "Drastic times call for drastic measures."  
  
He leaned in close to her and asked her gently, "Do you know how to fly, Kagome?" Something close to interest and doubt flickered across Kagome's eyes before it disappeared into the depths of emptiness. But not before Shippo could see it. With a smile, he stood up, took her hands in his and,  
  
"Think of a wonderful thought  
  
Any merry little thought"  
  
Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kirara all spun around to see who was singing. Obviously it was Shippo. The only thing was, it didn't sound like Shippo. Because Shippo had a high, squeaky voice that could sometimes be confused with that of a female's. This singer's voice sounded like an opera singer. EXTREMELY deep. Do you remember the fat chef in "Lady and the Tramp" who fed the dogs the spaghetti outside his little Italian restaurant? Remember how baritone his voice was? Well, take that voice, stick it on Shippo, and you have what's being described to you now.  
  
Everyone's mouth dropped, even Kagome's. This was the most unexpected thing since Inuyasha's little show last night. Inuyasha looked to the heavens and screamed "You're gonna make him sing too?!" fully remembering the last encounter he had with a singing member from this group.  
  
And to add to the further surprise of everyone, Kagome spoke up softly, "What thought?" Pleased, Shippo smiled and sang,  
  
"Think of Christmas  
  
Think of snow  
  
Think of sleigh bells  
  
There you go  
  
Like a reindeer in the sky!"  
  
And with that, Shippo started levitating off the ground. Kagome's eyes got wide in amazement as her little friend began soaring around the clearing like he were some type of bird.  
  
"You can fly?" she asked.  
  
"You can fly!" Miroku exclaimed.  
  
"YOU CAN FLY?!" Inuyasha cried out in surprise.  
  
Shippo slowly came back down to land on the ground in front of Kagome, Sango, and Miroku.  
  
"Can anybody fly?" Miroku asked.  
  
"Sure." Shippo answered.  
  
"How do we do it?" Kagome pressed desperately.  
  
Shippo smiled and sang  
  
"Think of the happiest thing  
  
Yadda, yadda yadda ya  
  
Think of batman who means grace  
  
Think of blah, you're still awake  
  
You see him in the sky!"  
  
Kagome, Miroku, and Sango all closed their eyes and did what they were told. They thought of the happiest times in their lives. When they opened their eyes again, they were floating, just like Shippo was.  
  
"Omigosh!" Kagome squealed.  
  
"This is amazing!" Miroku exclaimed.  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
They zoomed here and there, laughing and enjoying themselves. Shippo sang while they were flying  
  
"You can fly!  
  
You can fly!  
  
You can fly!"  
  
Happily, they did something no one else had ever done. They flew. Kagome giggled, and no one could tell that her eyes had once been filled with a vast blankness. Mostly because she was too high up to see her eyes. Miroku had never felt so enlightened before.  
  
Sango: ^_^!  
  
Inuyasha on the other hand wasn't feeling as carefree as his friends were. In fact, he felt the whole ordeal was more than a little bit ridiculous, stupid, idiotic, foolish, lame, a waste of time and a pain in his posterior. Apparently, nobody found it even remotely strange that this little kid was flying around the forest and everyone was joining him. But what was the worst was that Shippo felt it necessary to sing as if he were in the opera while defying the laws of gravity. That was what was sending him over the edge. In short, this really needed to end. Immediately.  
  
He listened impatiently as Shippo continued to sing about stupid crap like "To the stars below!" and something about a "neverland" (whatever the heck that was.) Inuyasha grew more irritable by the second. So, when Shippo came down and hovered over him with Kagome, Miroku, and Sango right next to him, and they ALL started singing (save for Sango: ^_^!) Inuyasha had hit his limit.  
  
"Where all your happy deeds come true  
  
Every dream that you dream will come true  
  
When there's a smile in our heart  
  
There's no better time to start!  
  
Think of all the joy you'll find,  
  
When you leave this world-"  
  
"ENOUGH!!!" Inuyasha roared. The singing and synchronized flying came to a halt. Everyone looked down at him to see exactly why he had interrupted their little expedition through the air.  
  
"Have you all lost your minds?!"  
  
Shippo furrowed his eyebrows. "What's the matter? Are you mad that you can't fly? It's easy. All you have to do is think of a wonderful thought. Any merry lit-"  
  
"NO!!! You guys don't seem to understand something."  
  
"And what might that be?" Miroku questioned.  
  
"YOU CANNOT FLY!!!"  
  
"And yet, we are!" Kagome said cheerfully.  
  
Inuyasha glared up at her floating in the air. "Does the word 'gravity' mean anything to you?"  
  
"How do you know about gravity?" Kagome looked shocked.  
  
"I read about it in one of your spell books you bring from your time. If you know about gravity, then you know that you can't fly. As you know, we are matter. All matter has mass. Gravity is a result of mass. Gravity is also the force of attraction objects that is due to their masses, meaning gravitational force pull objects toward each other. Since the Earth has an enormous mass, its gravitational force is enormous as well. You must apply outstandingly strong amounts of force to overcome Earth's gravitational pull. And I highly doubt that you "thinking happy thoughts" is enough force to overcome Earth's hold on you and enable you to fly. It's unfeasible."  
  
Kagome stared at him with wide eyes.  
  
Everyone: *blink, blink*  
  
Kagome: O_o?  
  
Miroku: o_O?  
  
Shippo: _!  
  
"He's right." Kagome whispered. Without warning, she, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo all suddenly dropped to the ground like a sack of temporarily airborne potatoes.  
  
*Whoosh*  
  
*Bam*  
  
*Thud*  
  
Shippo rubbed his ill-treated butt and whined loudly, "Why on earth did you have to TELL us?!"  
  
Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders and walked off, pleased with himself that he was able to destroy other fellow creatures fantasies by merely being smart. Now he felt better about himself.  
  
Kagome and Miroku stared at each other. "Since when does Inuyasha posses a measurable amount of intelligence?" he asked.  
  
Kagome shook her head and sighed. "There's a lot about him I guess we don't know."  
  
Sango: =_=.........  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
So, did you guys like it? Sorry it took so long. This chapters actually been done for a week, but I haven't had to chance to get online and upload it. Anyways, hope this wasn't too bad. I couldn't for the life of me understand the words in the movies (which by the way I was forced to watch about 5 times just to get the lyrics for you people, so I hope you're happy!) Leave me a review, OK? 


	8. That Chick is Crazy

Hey guys!  
  
Before I even start let me just say...  
  
WOW!!!  
  
70 reviews.  
  
70 reviews!  
  
70 REVIEWS!!!  
  
Do you have any idea how crazy that is? I nearly fell out of my chair when my best friend Rachel told me (haven't been online in awhile, so she called me) I am ecstatic. You guys are so great, and I'm so happy you like this story. And don't worry, I'll try my very hardest to keep you all laughing.  
  
Anyways, sorry about the long wait. This actually has been written for quite awhile, I just haven't had time to post it. But now I have, so I hope you enjoy it. And I really think you will. Judging from all the comments I got on the chapter with the yellow fairy, I figured you guys might like to hear from him again, so this chapter is chock-full him.  
  
Now, for the shout-outs:  
  
*  
  
LadyRainStarDragon: yeah, you might wanna stop that cat from flying around on your broom stick. That could be bad. By the way, where'd you get it? I've been looking for one forever! Sorry about you falling off of it though.  
  
*  
  
dark-of-stars: The Preservation for the Yellow Pixie Society? You REALLY need a hobby. Or a guy. Maybe both. And as for harming the yellow pixie...  
  
ah, never mind.  
  
*  
  
darakeru kitsune: Well, here's more of the psychotic-ness!  
  
*  
  
whooshO_O: more drunken hallucinations? I'm not sure. More crazy, twisted stuff? Oh yeah!  
  
*  
  
xo-Kagome-ox: Wow, maybe I should stop making these chapters os funny if you all are falling out of your chairs. That's the last thing I need is to be sued......... nope, can't stop the craziness! Outta my control!  
  
*  
  
Random Person #362: You fell out of your chair too? Oh dear! I'm going to have to include super glue with all of these chapters to keep you reviewers in your seats! Honestly!  
  
*  
  
Dreamwalker: Well, I'm glad I could bring the longevity of your absence of hilarious material to end! That is, after all, my sworn duty!  
  
*  
  
Ritoru Kani: Don't forget what Inuyasha said. It is, in fact, quite impossible for us humans to fly. Unless, of course, you aren't human. That would call for some explaining on your part! But we all still love you!  
  
*  
  
crazy4dogboi: crazy4dogboi + clicking of the review button = VERY happy and inspired Shiroryu. Happy inspired Shiroryu + computer = more updates. I think you can see where I'm headed with this.........  
  
*  
  
NmareB4Xmas1223: Well, here you go. I honestly and sincerely hope you enjoy this.  
  
*  
  
KagomeRessurected: Thanks. It gets cuter, I swear. BTW, sorry I haven't emailed you lately. Haven't been online in SOOOOOOOO long! *Violins play in background* You see, it all started with my signing up for Advanced Placemnet European history this year. After that-  
  
Audience :GET ON WITH IT!!!  
  
Shiroryu: ok, ok!  
  
*  
  
loudnproud223: Idaho? No, ya da ho! ;-) I think I ate the rest of the fried chicken over here. Sorry girl! Anyways, please don't hurt yourself while reading this chapter. I think I might be liable for any damage you do to yourself and your house whilst in the company of my story.  
  
*  
  
SusieQ: love that movie. Anyways, thank you for reviewing. It means a lot to mean when people read my work and then bother to tell me that they have, It makes me want to write more and more. Interesting choice. After this story is done though, I think your order of favorite chapters might change. Hehehe!!!  
  
*  
  
dark-of-stars: (again) Agh!!! Don't do the happy dance! You remember what happened last time you did that, don't you?  
  
...  
  
yeah, neither do I. Never mind!  
  
*  
  
So, now that that's out of the way, I will get on with the story.  
  
Attorney: *clears throat*  
  
Shiroryu: What?!  
  
Attorney: Isn't there something you should say?  
  
Shiroryu: Aww......... this again?  
  
Attorney: Last chapter you denounced all ownership to Inuyasha.  
  
Shiroryu: Did not.  
  
Attorney: Yes you did! You said something along the lines of: you were too tired, you didn't own him, but he really did love you.  
  
Shiroryu: But he does!  
  
Attorney: *sighs*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
A silent woman stood at the house of her younger sister. With a feeling of slight nostalgia, she turned around and walked away from the tiny hut. The hut she used to reside in. Before she.........  
  
Shaking her head slightly, the woman made her way through the forest until she came to an unusually large tree. A familiar tree. The tree where she had.........  
  
"All of these memories......... I must leave this place before he returns." She sighed and walked deeper into the woods, away from said memories. She was almost out of the magical feeling vicinity of the area when she heard a rather odd sound. It went something like: "AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!" Slightly startled, the woman looked ahead, waiting to see what was making all of that ridiculous noise.  
  
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground looking up into the face of a strange creature that was wearing an abnormal amount of yellow.  
  
"Oh, I am so sorry." The creature said. It wiped itself off and offered her his hand. Noticing how very small the hand was, and seeing how very miniscule the body was attached to aforementioned limb, the woman slapped it away and got up on her own.  
  
"Your clumsiness has annoyed me enough for today. I shall depart now." She said coolly.  
  
"Hmm.........that wasn't very nice." The yellow creature said.  
  
The woman sighed again. "I shall take my leave now."  
  
The little thing stood in her way though. "Wait a minute. Aren't you curious about what I am?"  
  
The woman raised an eyebrow. "What would give me reason to be even remotely inquisitive about your personal heritage?"  
  
The little person smiled. "Well, duh! Because I'm a pixie!" he announced.  
  
"Is that so?" she said automatically.  
  
"Yes, it is so." The pixie said excitedly.  
  
"As fascinating as that piece of useless information is, I have other miko matters to attend to."  
  
The pixie nodded and let the woman go off. He stood there about 3 minutes until he realized something. Flying after, he made a head on collision with her, yet again. Nearly growling, she said "If we continue to meet under these circumstances, I am going to have to rip off both of your wings, very slowly."  
  
"Um.........Ok.........but I wouldn't like that very much. I think it would hurt."  
  
"That would be the entire point of ripping your wings off. To cause you a great amount of pain."  
  
The pixie scratched his head. "You aren't very nice. I don't think I want to give you what I was supposed to give you."  
  
"I don't particularly care." Was the cold response.  
  
"Well, OK.........I'll let you have it. But only because you looked so distraught." Smiling widely, the yellow pixie pulled from behind his back what looked to be flowers. "They're black roses." He said triumphantly.  
  
"They are not." The woman stated.  
  
"Yes, they are!" he protested.  
  
She took her pointer finger and wiped off some of the black paint still dripping from the flower. "This is a daisy. You just painted it black."  
  
The pixie took a defensive stance. "I did not!"  
  
Aggravated, the woman shook the flowers in his face, spewing black paint all over him. "There is black paint all over these flowers. Look, I'm wiping some off now. It's even on your face!"  
  
Defiantly, the pixie said, "I haven't the slightest clue what you are talking about."  
  
"What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about? You have black paint all over your face! If you're gonna give someone a present and tell them it's a black rose, painting a daisy black is not going to work. Especially since a daisy looks nothing like a rose. But mostly because the DAISIES ARE STILL WET FROM THE PAINT!"  
  
The pixie nonchalantly picked at his fingernails. "If you say so."  
  
Rolling her eyes heavenward, the woman growled and stomped off.  
  
"Hey where ya going?" the pixie asked as he flew next to her.  
  
"Away."  
  
"Aww.........but 'Away' isn't as fun as 'Over there'."  
  
"What difference does it make? I'm still removing myself from your vicinity."  
  
"But 'Over there' is such a pleasant place."  
  
Stopping, the woman whirled around and pointed at the pixie. "Why are you following me?"  
  
Giving her a smug smile, he flew close to her ear and whispered "The real question is, why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW YOU AND YOU DO NOT KNOW ME!!!" The woman screeched.  
  
Cocking an eyebrow, the pixie dropped his voice an octave and said his most sexy voice (which wasn't all that sexy as much as it was annoying) "Do you want to get to know me better?" and then proceeded to wiggle his eyebrows at her.  
  
"That is the single most repulsive offer I have ever heard in my life." She sighed.  
  
The pixie puffed his chest out as much as he could. "Are you trying to say you don't want a piece of this?"  
  
"That is exactly what I'm trying to say."  
  
"How can you resist me if you don't even know my name?"  
  
"Do you hear yourself when you speak?"  
  
"Nope. I have selective hearing."  
  
"That figures."  
  
"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene."  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"My name."  
  
The woman stared for a minute. "Your mother actually named you that?"  
  
Proudly, the pixie smiled. "Yep. Dad said she'd been to Mack and his Pot a little more times than necessary, if you know what I mean."  
  
"No, I don't know what you mean. And I don't want to know what you mean. I just want you, Mr. Sigurflookienikesockdingdong to leave me alone."  
  
"Fred."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Call me Fred."  
  
The woman gave him a puzzled look. "I thought you said your name was Sigurflookinikesockdingdong."  
  
The pixie sighed. "No, I said my name was Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene. But you can call me Fred."  
  
"Why Fred? That sounds nothing like your name."  
  
"I know. I just like the way it sounds. Come on. Say it with me. Fred!" The pixie grinned.  
  
"No."  
  
"Say it with me, Fred!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Say it with me!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Say it with me!"  
  
"No."  
  
"You know you want to."  
  
"No."  
  
"I'll keep bugging you."  
  
"No."  
  
"Fred, Fred, bo-Bred, banana-fanana, fo-Fred, me-my-mo-mred, Fred!!!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fr-"  
  
"FINE! FRED!!!" The woman screamed.  
  
The pixie grinned even wider. "Now see, wasn't that fun and entertaining?"  
  
The woman glared at him. "That question doesn't even warrant a proper answer from me."  
  
*Fred turns and whispers extremely loudly to audience sitting at home* "That means she feels all warm and tingly, and fuzzy inside. Fred is a warm, tingly, fuzzy name."  
  
"I'm leaving." The woman sighed.  
  
"Oh well. You were a disappointment anyway. Everyone said you were so nice."  
  
"What do you mean, a 'disappointment' and everyone saying I was so 'nice'?" the woman asked confused and a bit miffed.  
  
"Well, I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you what a failure you are and how disenchanted I am with you......... But I will. One, I thought you'd be nice. I was wrong. Two, I thought you'd be dressed futuristic. You obviously are from around here, although in those robes most probably consider you the paid help. Three, I was expecting to see that Inuyasha character I keep hearing so much about. Clearly he is not here, unless you've hidden him somewhere in that ugly hairdo of yours. Which brings me to my fourth disappointment. I thought you'd be pretty, or at least decent looking. Again my expectations were much too high for you, seeing as how you look like you've crawled out of a grave after 50 years. Which brings me to another point. I could've sworn you'd be alive. Again, Fred was wrong. And I won't even go into your-"  
  
"ENOUGH!!!" the woman screamed.  
  
Fred stopped rambling off her shortcomings long enough to listen to her.  
  
"Just who do you think I am?" the woman questioned already knowing the answer.  
  
"Well duh! Who else would you be besides yourself?!"  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"But that's what you said."  
  
"Forget it! What do you think my name is?"  
  
"What are you, an amnesiac?"  
  
"JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK MY NAME IS!!!" she yelled, face turning bright shades of red from frustration.  
  
"Obviously I think your name is Kagome Higurashi." Fred said, also miffed.  
  
"Kagome?" the woman breathed.  
  
"Umm.........yeah. That's your name. Don't wear it out."  
  
Straightening herself to her full and most intimidating stance, the woman looked down at the pixie.  
  
"I am not Kagome. I am the high priestess, Kikyo."  
  
The pixie stared at for a moment then started laughing.  
  
Hard.  
  
"I fail to see what is so humorous." Kikyo said with as much dignity as she could muster, what with Fred rolling on the ground crying and all.  
  
"Ri-ight.........You're Kikyo. And lemon meringue pies frequently fly out of my butt."  
  
Kikyo glowered angrily at Fred, trying to bore a hole in his forehead. "I speak only the truth. I am the famous miko, Kikyo. The one who pinned Inuyasha to a tree. The one who-"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah lady." The pixie said as he waved her off nonchalantly. "Whatever you say."  
  
"Why is it so hard to believe that I am Kikyo?"  
  
Fred shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, I believe you. I just like yanking your chain."  
  
*vein in Kikyo's forehead begins to throb menacingly*  
  
"So anyway," the pixie said as he leaned coolly on a nearby tree, "what's the deal with you and this Inuyasha guy? I heard through the grapevine that you're still in love with him."  
  
Kikyo casually plucked out a comb from her hair and with a flick of her wrist it was lodged in the tree Fred was leaning on, pinning him by his neck and mere centimeters away from puncturing his collar. "Insolent imp. How dare you presume that I bare feelings for that mongrel."  
  
"Quack!" went Fred as he struggled to catch his breath.  
  
Kikyo trudged off, more than a little peeved about her encounter with the insignificant being. But even more so, she was angry with herself for reacting when questioned about Inuyasha. Just the mere mention of his name made her go rigid with hate.........  
  
But at the same time, another feeling always accompanied that name.  
  
Before she really knew what was happening, she stopped at a small brook, and peered into her dead reflection, stood back up, looked to the heavens and.........  
  
(I think you know what's coming...)  
  
*"You know I'm a righteous woman  
  
Of my virtue I am justly proud  
  
You know I'm so much purer than  
  
The common, vulgar everyday crowd"*  
  
Yes. We all knew it would happen. It was uncharacteristic. It was unstoppable. It was unimaginable.  
  
It was Kikyo, singing.*  
  
(A/N: *trying not to giggle at her audience's shocked faces* I'm sorry. It couldn't be helped. I told you all this story was twisted. I had to.........*snickers behind hand*) Kikyo, unaware of what she was doing (obviously) thought back to Fred and sung out  
  
*"Then tell me, small Freddy (Freddy? Where'd she get Freddy from?)  
  
Why I see him standing there  
  
Why his golden eyes still scorch my soul  
  
I fear him, I see him  
  
The sun caught in his silver hair  
  
Is blazing as if it had not one care"*  
  
Suddenly, something dawned on Kikyo. Something she should've realized. As she thought about it, her eyes got wider in amazement. She was a miko. She was holy! Sinless! Perfect! And yet, she wanted Inuyasha so much. She came to a startling conclusion.  
  
*"Like fire! Hellfire!  
  
This fire in my skin  
  
This burning desire  
  
Is turning me to sin!"*  
  
Running away from the stream, she rushed deeper into the forest, listening to the voices in her head. (Always knew she was psycho)  
  
'You fell in love with a half demon!' the voices told her  
  
*"It's not my fault!" she screamed.  
  
'It is!' her mind replied  
  
"I'm not to blame!  
  
It is the half-breed boy  
  
The hanyou who set this flame!"*  
  
'You're treacherous!' her mind said  
  
*"It's not my fault!  
  
If in God's plan  
  
He made one half-ling so much stronger than I am!!!"*  
  
As Kikyo continued screaming through the forest like a mad woman, Fred was resting comfortably in a tree (after getting help from woodland creatures to release him), watching the whole ordeal.  
  
"That chick is crazy........." he observed.  
  
Losing all of her senses, Kikyo cried out in temporary insanity,  
  
*"Help me, dear Freddy (Fred: *O_o?* "Where'd Freddy come from?")  
  
Please help me cast my evil spell,  
  
Please let my fire sear his flesh and bones!"*  
  
Fred: *blink, blink* "There's gotta be something in her water."  
  
Kikyo had completely lost it by now. I mean, everyone knows girlfriend was on the edge, but this is ridiculous. She is actually talking- no, singing- about casting a freaking spell on and burning our beloved, if not ill- tempered and foul-mouthed, Inuyasha!  
  
*"Destroy Inuyasha!  
  
Let him tastes the fires of hell  
  
But please let him be mine and mine alone........."*  
  
At this, Fred made himself known. "What the heck is the matter with you?" he asked her. Eyes glazed over, Kikyo stopped singing long enough to say a short sentence. "I just can't seem to get over him." And then, suddenly, she.........  
  
*"Hellfire, dark fire  
  
Now half-ling it's your turn  
  
Choose me and my fire  
  
Be mine and you will burn!"*  
  
Confused, Fred raised his hand and waved it in the air. Kikyo chose to ignore him until he began screaming "Pick me! Pick me!" over and over again.  
  
"What?!" she nearly yelled.  
  
"There's something I don't understand. You love Inuyasha, so you're trying to destroy him? You give him the choice of choosing you and burning. Shouldn't there be an "or" somewhere in that sentence? Like choosing you OR burn?"  
  
"No pixie, you don't understand. When Inuyasha comes with me, we shall journey together into the fiery abyss for all eternity."  
  
Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah. THAT sounds like fun. Who could resist an offer like that?"  
  
Kikyo's eyes got glazy again. She breathed in deeply and said "It is our destiny to be together in the depths of the fires, for I cannot stay on this earth long. Each day gets harder to oppose the laws of nature and continue to roam this realm. Once we exit this realm, we will be together.........FOR-EV-ER!" *  
  
Fred thought about her words for a tenth of a second before he blurted out, "Yeah, but do you think he wants to die, just to be with you? I mean, it's not like you're attractive, or nice, or even worthwhile. You're just kinda, crazy. Plus, I think he's got a thing for that Kagome girl. Everyone says so."  
  
"Idiot," Kikyo sneered, "Inuyasha is madly in love with me. He made a promise to follow me wherever I go."  
  
"Ever heard of breaking a promise? Jeez, I know I would. Maybe he had been to Mack and his Pot before he spoke to you about that, just like my mother was before she named me. That would explain a lot."  
  
Kikyo glared at him once more, and then for the last time, stalked off, leaving Fred by himself. As she seemed to glide through the woods, she considered Fred's words.  
  
"I think he's got a thing for that Kagome girl." "You love Inuyasha, but you're trying to destroy him?" "Ever heard of breaking a promise?"  
  
She bent down and picked up a puffy flower** (the white ones that you blow on and all the weird little white things blow away) and stared at it for a moment.  
  
Yes, she knew that what she was doing was, to an extent, was evil and wrong. But she was more aware of how much she wanted Inuyasha to be with her, not her reincarnation. He deserved the real thing, right? Not a cheap knockoff. What did that girl know of his pain? Nothing. She wasn't the one who could relate to his pain. She wasn't the one who could heal him. Not all the way. That was her job. So, yes, she knew what she was doing was evil. Suddenly, she could feel her eyes and heart start to soften. Not like how they used to be originally, but it was a nice change.  
  
*"God have mercy on him.  
  
God have mercy on me"*  
  
She sung softly. Blowing away all the little wisps of puff, she felt her eyes grow once again cold and angry and her voice grew cold and angry as well.  
  
*"But he will be mine and we will........."*  
  
Looking into the sky, she closed her eyes, letting a small drop of water slip between her eyelids.  
  
*"Burn........."*  
  
She gathered herself and walked away again, only this time instead of away from Inuyasha, she was going directly towards him.  
  
Fred, who really has no idea what personal space and privacy are, came out from behind the tree he was hiding, shaking his head sadly.  
  
"Oh, yeah. There's definitely something in HER water. Or maybe she's allergic to black roses..." With that he picked up his "black roses" and flew off.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
OK, so, that's the end of "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water" Hope you all liked it!  
  
...  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Shiroryu: *ducks from a chair thrown at her head* Just kidding! Jeez! This story is far from over. I'm just beginning! (sort of) Anyways, the song in here was from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's the part when Frodo (if you're thinking of a short guy with an abnormal amount of hair growth on his feet, wrong movie) is talking to his fireplace about how he wants Esmeralda... Audience: Eww... Shiroryu: I know- and he's saying all this crap about how righteous he was and how if he couldn't have her, then she could burn (nice ultimatum. Personally, I'd take the fire. I have flame-retardant pajamas I could wear) If you don't remember, go watch the movie again. It's really in there. So the song isn't mine. It's Disney's  
  
Attorney: What about Inuyasha?  
  
Shiroryu: *walks away like she can't hear him*  
  
A/N: I put a few stars in this chapter, so here's what I was thinking:  
  
* two words: The Sandlot  
  
** later found out these were called dandelions 


	9. Natural Disasters and Why Shippo wants t...

Hey, look!

It's an update of "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water!"

_Ta-da!_

ducks as an onslaught of flying chairs is thrown her way

I know, I know! I am such a bad authoress. I'm sorry. So much has been going on. I got my license, a job, a car, an F in Algebra, a love life (just kidding. I couldn't get one of those if it came up, stomped me on the foot, wagged its butt in the air, and sung the Y.M.C.A. song. In Swedish. Naked. In the snow.)

But you know what I mean. Life can really get in the way of my writing. I'm sorry, my lovely reviewers.

Disclaimer: … just read the story.

With out further ado,

The latest installment of "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water"!

* * *

"DEMON PIXIES!"

"Agh!"

**-fwomp-**

**-thud-**

"Ow! I didn't realize I was that high up!"

"Dear god! So many pixies…"

"Oh, for the love of-"

"Will you two keep it down? I'm trying to sleep!"

"But-"

"Shh!"

**-groan-**

"Hey, stop with all the groaning. I don't care how much you're enjoying it, Inuyasha, take it somewhere else."

Inuyasha: OO… "You raunchy moron!"

Kagome! "Ew! As if! That's disgusting, Miroku!"

Inuyasha: "'Ew!'? What is THAT supposed to mean!"

Kagome: "Didn't mean it like that… uh…"

Miroku: "Oh, so are you admitting to letting your passion interrupt your reason and that you mated wildly like happy gerbils all steamy night long and are upset that Kagome didn't find it as pleasurable as you did, Inuyasha?"

…

…

…

"MIROKU!"

**-smash-**

**-slam-**

**-crack-**

**-PAIN-**

"Hey, I've only got one of those!"

"Too bad, pervert!"

"OW!"

"Wanna borrow my Hiraikotsu?"

"Yes, I do!"

"No, she doesn't!"

**-bam-**

Shippo cracked one eye open and rolled it. Did they really have to start THIS early in the morning? The dawn had barely reached horizon and the group was already up in arms. Sitting up and stretching his small arms toward the sky, he yawned lazily and shot an angry glare at the four alleged adults. Who would want to wake up to a sexually tactless monk getting the living crap beat out of him by a fuming teenage girl borrowing a large boomerang, and an even angrier dog demon sharpening his claws on aforementioned monk's hide?

"Actually, I would." Shippo thought as he silently giggled at the predicament. Realizing that the beating would probably continue for a while, and not wanting to be within 20 feet of either Kagome nor Inuyasha, Shippo resolved to go to the village and buy them bread for breakfast. So, he slipped past the bloody pulp, formerly known as Miroku, and headed for the village unnoticed. As he strolled through the woods, he thought about how much his life had changed since Kagome and Inuyasha and Sango and Miroku came into the picture. It sure had changed, but for the better. When his parents had died, he thought he'd never be happy and be a part of a family again. But then he met Kagome, and now…

Now, he had a family. Kagome was like his mother, Sango his older sister, Miroku a brother, and as much as he hated to admit it, Inuyasha had a respected role in his life as a father figure.

In a really distant, weird, scary sort of way.

He smiled at the thought. He was once again a member of a family. A wonderful, (if not slightly dysfunctional, totally ignorant of the fact that most of them were in love, and occasionally violent) family.

In short, he was thankful he had them. He had no idea where he'd be without them. And he didn't want to think about it. As he arrived at the village and was about to enter the bakery, Shippo heard a sound that made him change directions. Someone was singing.

It was a beautiful voice, the person had. Shippo felt spellbound as he let his demon senses direct him to the origin of the singing. Finally, he found the owner of the voice; standing near a rock near the outskirts of the village, away from everyone else with eyes closed, singing. They seemed to be a child, of his own age.

A girl, to be specific.

'A very pretty girl, to be very specific,' Shippo thought. She was a little bit taller than him (although that was nothing new, seeing as how his body had taken a vow not to grow anymore at around age 3) with shoulder length, wavy, brown hair, a couple of freckles placed sporadically on her face, and the biggest, prettiest smile he'd ever seen grace on someone's face.

In a nutshell, she was gorgeous.

She had her eyes closed as she continued singing her song. She spun around, dancing, singing, and completely stealing Shippo's heart.

A sudden case of shyness overcame Shippo, and just as he was about to depart without her knowledge of him ever existing, when she caught sight of him. Blushing a bit, she giggled and said, "How long have you been standing there?"

Shippo looked up at her, a bit sad that she had ended her song, and nervous that she had spoken to him. In most traditions, when someone speaks to you, it's politest to speak back. Shippo had a problem doing this, seeing as how he couldn't get over how intriguing her eyes were. They were an extremely pale gray color, almost silver. They seemed to twinkle at her every word.

When the girl realized that the strange boy wasn't about to strike up an intelligent conversation any time soon, she smiled and said, "My name is Kisa. I live in that hut over there." She pointed.

Shippo: OO

Kisa raised an eyebrow, waiting for the strange boy to say something. "What's your name?"

Shippo: OO

Kisa tapped her foot lightly on the ground, waiting for the strange boy to say anything.

Shippo: OO

Kisa rocked back and forth on her heels, waiting for the strange boy to make any kind of movement proving he was in fact alive and breathing.

Shippo: OO

"Ri-ight." Kisa said slowly. "Well, I'm going to leave now. It was…uh…quiet meeting you. See you later." With that, Kisa skipped off, leaving poor Shippo in a possible permanent state of amazement and stupidity. After a good five minutes, his legs and arms thawed out and he regained the ability of intelligent speech.

"I'm Shippo." He whispered. Sadly, he walked back to where the group had camped out the previous night.

"Hey squirt, where were you? And why didn't you get us some food? I'm starving." Was his welcome.

Shippo just narrowed his eyes at his so-called "father figure" and stomped past him.

"What crawled up your butt and died?" Inuyasha asked.

"My dignity." Was the reply. He marched up to Kagome with a determined look on his face. "Kagome, I need your advice."

Although the question was addressed to Kagome, Inuyasha and Sango and Miroku all leaned in a bit closer, wondering what was up with the young kit.

"Sure, Shippo, what's up?"

Sighing, Shippo retold his sad story of love and loss. When he was done, he looked up at Kagome. "So, you see, I need your help. I need you to give me advice on women."

"Well, sure Shippo. I'd love to-"

"NO!" Miroku and Inuyasha cried in unison.

Startled, Kagome looked at the two boys. "What is your problem?"

"_**YOU** _can't give him advice on women." Inuyasha said.

"And why not? I do happen to be one."

"Lady Kagome, although I agree with you that you are a woman in every way, shape, and definitely form of the word, this is a matter that should not be dealt with by a woman."

"Why?" Sango asked.

"Because she'll screw up his masculine way of thinking by teaching him all that sissy stuff you girls are always going on about. He needs to know the manly way to get a woman and we as the older men that he looks up to in his life, have to look out for him and help him become one." Inuyasha stated.

Kagome raised her eyebrow. "Is that so? Well then, pray tell, how do you plan on going about giving him advice on women when neither of you seem to be able to do so well in that subject yourselves?"

Narrowing his eyes, Inuyasha walked toward Kagome. "I'll have you know, I have plenty of experience with women and will personally see to it that Shippo becomes the manliest man around. Come on Miroku."

Miroku tore his eyes away from Sango's posterior where they had been glued for the last couple of minutes. "Excuse me? Why do I have to help?"

Sango smirked. "Oh, Miroku, I thought you were a manly type of man as well." She gave a discreet wink to Kagome as she walked closer to Miroku.

The poor idiot...

Sango made her voice as smooth as syrup as she slowly circled the monk, lightly touching his upper arms. "Wouldn't you want to help Shippo become as much of a ladies' man as you are? I'm sure there's a lot you could teach him, right?"

Miroku: "Uh…" he replied stupidly. Having Sango that close to him, speaking in that voice he'd never heard before…well, to say the least, it made him into a mound of retarded putty. The only things he could focus on were Sango's siren like voice, her delicate fingers brushing on his biceps, and the fact that she was (willingly) mere inches from him.

Seeing the effect she was having on him, Sango stopped circling him and leaned in close, right next to his left ear. As seductively as possible without bursting into laughter, she whispered for his ears only "Will you do it? For me? Please?"

Her warm breath made the hairs on the nape of his neck stand on edge. How could anyone say no to that? In a daze, he smiled goofily and nodded his head.

"Good." She whispered. She winked at him and strolled over to Kagome, leaving Miroku much like Shippo had been left with Kisa.

Miroku: OO

"Come on, Miroku." Inuyasha said as he rolled his eyes. He grabbed the monk by his collar and dragged him deeper into the forest with Shippo trailing behind them.

Once they were out of earshot, Kagome turned to Sango.

"What on earth was all_ THAT_ about? I thought he was gonna pass out."

Sango smirked. "Just proving that men are powerless against women. In just six short sentences I could have asked him to jump into the stream and he would've done it. It's too easy. You should try it on Inuyasha. It's pretty funny to watch."

Kagome shook her head. "That worked on Miroku because he really likes you."

"What, and Inuyasha doesn't like you?" Sango challenged.

"Not the way you're thinking. Maybe you haven't seen the way he looks at Kikyo whenever she comes around, but I have. Plus, it's not like I like him like that anyway."

Sango just sighed and threw her hands in the air. "You and I both know you're lying. You guys are perfect for each other. You're both just too blind to see it. But I suppose you'll have learn that the hard way, huh?"

Kagome shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever you say, Sango."

Meanwhile, Inuyasha was dragging a slightly incapacitated holy man towards the rushing river with Shippo close behind.

"God, you are whipped." Inuyasha muttered.

"And the sad thing about that is, I don't even care." Miroku mumbled, a smile still gracing his face.

"You're a disgrace to the male population."

Miroku just shrugged. Sighing, Inuyasha turned toward Shippo.

"So, what exactly are we gonna do to train me to be a better man?" the younger boy asked.

"Feh. A BETTER man? You not even classified as a guy yet, much less a man. No, you're nothing but a whiny kid. A child. A youngster. We're gonna teach to how to be a man. And Miroku is gonna go through the teaching process with you."

"Excuse me? I don't need to know how to be a man. I am nothing BUT man!" Miroku exclaimed as he flexed his muscles.

"What are you doing?" Inuyasha asked.

"Why, I'm flexing my **Manly **muscles, because that's what **Manly Men** do. And that's what I am. A **Manly Man**."

"You sure about that?"

"A **Manly Man** never doubts his **Manly** statements of **Manliness**." Miroku said as he put his fists to his side in a Super-Man kind of position.

"That is the most retarded thing I've heard all day." Shippo piped up.

"Shut up, you non-**Manly** kid!"

"Are you done yet?" Inuyasha asked irritated.

"You're just jealous of my **Manly Manhood** in all its **Manly** glory." Miroku muttered under his breath. Luckily, Inuyasha didn't hear it, or else we probably wouldn't have the "**Manly**" monk we have now.

"OK, anyways…moving right along…" Shippo said.

"Yeah. First we're gonna have to build your muscles up." Inuyasha said.

He clapped his hands together. "Let's get down to business, to entice that girl. Are you just a dumb kid, or are you a guy? You're the saddest case I've ever met, but you can bet before we're through, mister, I'll make a man, out of you!"

"So, what's first?" Shippo asked.

"First you must meditate. Search for the inner adult inside. Come, sit with me." Miroku said. Inuyasha rolled his eyes as the two boys sat down next to a tree. But that soon changed when Miroku…

_"Tranquil as a forest_

_But a fire within_

_Once you find your center_

_You are sure to win!"_

Shippo: Oo?

Inuyasha: NO! Not again! NO more singing!"

Before Miroku could utter another word, Inuyasha grabbed Shippo and stomped off deeper into the forest. "You're a spineless pail, pathetic kid. And you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man, out of you!"

With an evil glint in his eyes, he pushed Shippo hard, "Run till I tell you to stop."

As Shippo was running like a madman, Inuyasha went back over to Miroku. "What the hell was that about?"

"You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar Inuyasha." Miroku said simply.

"I don't give a crap about flies. I'm trying to make that kid into a man. And you're not helping with your pansy singing. You make me nauseous. So, I suppose I'll have to make a man out of you as well."

Miroku stuck his chest out. "What do you mean, make a **Man **out of me? I am nothing but 100 **Man-ified, Manly**-"

"I suggest you start running." Inuyasha interrupted.

"Huh? Why?"

Inuyasha gave him a scary smirk. "Because you've got till ten before I sharpen my claws on you, and I'm already on four."

"What makes you think I'm gonna-"

"Six, seven…" Inuyasha ran his claws across a nearby tree, almost cutting straight through it.

Miroku: OO…

"Eight…"

Miroku: AAAGGGHHH!

Miroku ran off, screaming bloody murder. Sango and Kagome giggled in amusement from their hiding place behind some large blueberry bushes.

As Miroku caught up to Shippo, he heard music coming from out of nowhere and the young kit panting out in song,

"_I'm never gonna catch my bre_ath 

_Say goodbye to those who knew me!"_

Miroku joined in,

"_Why was I such a fool in school_

_For cutting gym?"_

Out of nowhere, Inuyasha was running besides the two boys, smiling wickedly. "Now, kiddies, we're gonna swim!"

"Inuyasha! That water is freezing!" Miroku exclaimed.

"No way am I getting in there!" Shippo added.

With a quick flick of his wrist, both Miroku and Shippo saw the sun shine dangerously upon the hanyou's claws.

Both boys looked at each other. "Swimming sounds great!"

Sango shook her head as the two boys plunged into the glacial waters. Suddenly, something came over her. She turned to Kagome and sang out to the music,

_"This guy's got them scared to death!"_

Kagome: OO?

_"Hope he doesn't' see right through me!"_ Shippo gasped as his head came up from the water.

Miroku looked like he was about to cry as he splashed and flounder about in the water, singing, "Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!"

Suddenly, an ominous wind swept through the trees, and Inuyasha's eyes flashed between crimson and gold.

Everyone else: OO!

Inuyasha'sfangs elongated, purple marks appeared on his face, his claws sharpened…to everyone's absolute horror, Inuyasha went 100 demon on them. Now, I suppose you're all wondering: "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!"

Wouldn't you like to know?

Miroku and Shippo stood motionless in the arctic waters. Kagome and Sango gasped.

Inuyasha made his way to the guys, walking through the water as if it were air. When he got at arm's length, Miroku attempted to strike him, but was stopped mid-punch by Inuyasha's hand. Grinning evilly, Inuyasha put a strong hand on both boys' shoulders and stood there for a minute.

Miroku's heart: thump! Thump! THUMP THUMP THUMP!"

Shippo's heart: …

Standing up straight, Inuyasha opened his mouth widely, as if to eat them.

"_To be a man…_

_You must be swift as the coursing river!_

_To be a man…_

_With all the force of a great typhoon!_

_To be a man…_

_With all the strength of a raging fire!_

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"_ he sang in a rich, deep, baritone voice, a little different than his drunken one.

"NOT AGAIN!" Shippo screamed. He writhed in Inuyasha's grasp, trying desperately to get away. "NO MORE SINGING!"

"Silence!" Inuyasha said calmly. Licking his fangs slightly, he said, "I have arranged for my woodland creatures to bring that female here. You will become a man before then so you may procreate with her."

Kagome!

Sango: Woodland creatures?

Shippo: Oo?

Miroku! YES! When will I get to procreate?

Inuyasha shoved Miroku into the water, as he continued,

"_Time is racing toward us_

_Till that girl arrives_

_Heed my every order_

_And you might survive!"_

"Oh my gosh…" Kagome said softly, as her face turned scarlet.

"Are you as scared as I am?" Sango asked.

"No. I just realized something... Inuyasha has got a really sexy voice."

Sango? "Inuyasha has turned 100 psycho demon, is running around singing, and will probably kill Shippo and my Miroku, and the only thing you can think about is Inuyasha's sexy voice!"

Kagome shrugged. "Hey, I call it as I see it. Besides, it's not like I- wait a minute, what did you just say?"

"When?"

"Just now."

"The only thing you can think about is Inuyasha's sexy voice?"

"Before that."

"He'll probably kill Shippo and Miroku."

"Bingo."

"What? Why do you ask?"

"Because that's not what you said. You said '_my_ Miroku.' '_**MY**_ Miroku.'"

Sango could do nothing but blush deeply and stutter, "I didn't mean it like that…"

"Oh, I'm never gonna let you live this-"

"Hello ladies." A voice from behind them said.

"AAAAGGGGHHHH!" The girls screamed. They shot up from behind the blueberry bush to see Inuyasha standing over them.

"Inu-Inuyasha…imagine seeing you here. Right now. On this glorious day. In this glorious forest. Which is filled with glorious trees. Isn't it glorious?" Kagome said.

'Smooth.' Sango thought.

"Did you really think I didn't notice you were there?" Inuyasha purred. Kagome blinked stupidly at him, relishing in the sound of his "sexy voice" "Did you think I wouldn't be able to detect your scent, the scent that haunts my mind and entices my senses every minute of every day? Is that what you really thought?" he asked smoothly.

Kagome was taken aback by this unexpected confession, and resolved to shake her head. Smiling, Inuyasha placed a claw under her chin, tilting her face to meet his and tracing an invisible line along her jaw and said dangerously, "You really are quite attractive, you know."

Kagome: OO…?…!…!

Right as Sango was about to comment, a baby deer (A.K.A. a fawn) came up to Inuyasha. Bending down, he petted the animal on the head. "What news have you got for me, Dana?"

Kagome and Sango looked at each other. Realizing that Inuyasha had really gone crazy and might be suffering from Schizophrenia, Sango said gently, "Um…Inuyasha, that deer can't-"

"Inuyasha, sir. The young girl you have asked us to retrieve is on her way. She will be here shortly." The deer, whose name obvious was Dana said.

Sango and Kagome: ACK! IT'S A TALKING DEER!

"Excellent." Inuyasha smiled. He turned around, leaving the girls with zero explanation to find Shippo.

Standing there with Dana, Kagome dug her toe in the dirt, trying to think what to say to the deer. Whose name was Dana. And apparently had a thing for talking... "So, imagine seeing you here. Right now. On this glorious day. In this glorious forest. Which is filled with glorious trees. Isn't it glori-"

"Enough of your incessant babble. Haven't you ever heard the saying 'Don't speak unless you can improve upon the silence'? Well, you're definitely not enriching anything." Dana said coldly.

With that, the fawn trotted off.

Kagome was dumbfounded. "Did I…was I…did that deer just insult me!"

Sango shrugged. "That's one way to say it. You could go with humiliated, verbal whiplash, your dignity was attacked, were caused to lose face, outsmarted, outwitted, flabbergasted, thunderstruck, slapped with-"

"THANK YOU _VERY_ MUCH, SANGO!" Kagome said loudly. She stomped off in the general direction Inuyasha just had moments ago. Sango shrugged again. "What'd I do?"

Meanwhile, Miroku was devising a plan to escape the tyrannical…uh…tyrant as he ran for bloody hell.

"If we use the Pythagorean Theorem to polarize his demonic electrons, then maybe we can Alamo him back to a ground state and monopolize his Declaration of Transuranium thermosetting polymer at an ideal interval, thus radiating the quadratic formula (-b/- the square root of b squared minus 4(a)(c) all over 2(a)) of the trigonometric ionization alkyl halide back into the Monroe Doctrine."

Shippo stared at Miroku. "Just what the hell does that mean?"

"It's too advanced to explain it to you." Miroku replied.

"So, basically, you just like to hear yourself talk and have no idea what you just said."

"Precisely!"

"Run faster, you pathetic humans!" someone from behind them said. Fearing it was Inuyasha they turned quickly only to meet with a chinchilla.

Miroku and Shippo: ACK! IT'S A TALKING CHINCHILLA!

The chinchilla sneered. "I have direct orders from General Inuyasha to make sure you worthless excuses of mankind don't slack off. You may call me Lieutenant Chester."

Just as Miroku was about to declare heart failure, Inuyasha showed up.

"_You're unsuited for_

_The rage for war_

_You should pack up_

_Go Home_

_Be through_

_But I swear, I'll make a man_

_Out of you!"_

Shippo jumped when he heard Inuyasha's voice. "Ah shi-"

"General Inuyasha, the girl will be here momentarily." Chester said.

"Excellent. Good work, Lieutenant." Inuyasha nodded at his military official of woodland furriness. He looked back at his two prisoners-um-pupils. "Twenty push-ups! Now!" he barked.

Rolling their eyes, they both dropped to the floor, starting the tedious task, which they were sure would be more than a measly 20 push-ups. Their suspicions were confirmed when Inuyasha laid a 180-pound log across their backs.

"AGH! What the heck do you think you're doing?" Shippo yelled.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Only what I've been singing about. Haven't you been listening? I'm going to make you into men!"

"It defeats the whole purpose if you kill us first." Miroku wheezed.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Inuyasha pointed out.

"This coming from a guy who's been basically dead for 50 years!"

Inuyasha's eye twitched dangerously. In a swift movement, the log was thrown off the pair and Miroku was picked up by his neck and pushed against a tree.

"Inu-Inuyasha…need air. Oxygen…" Miorku gasped out.

"I. Was. Sleeping." The crazed man ground out.

"Air…"

"Wasn't dead."

"Damn…the monkeys…"

"I'll kill you."

"Bloody…turtles…"

"Turtles! Did somebody say 'turtles'?" a voice interrupted. Both men and Shippo turned their eyes downward to see a green reptilian creature in a top hat, purple bowtie, and a cane smiling broadly at them. Inuyasha released his hold on Miroku's only means of breathing.

Miroku and Shippo: ACK! IT'S A TALKING TURTLE!

Miroku gasped for air, shook his head, looked down at the turtle "What the fu-"

He never got to finish his unmonk-like sentence, because right then and there, the little turtle struck a supposedly sexy model move (like the ones one might witness in the movie Zoolander) and sang out,

"_I been working so hard_

_Keep punching my card_

_Eight hours, for what?_

_Oh, tell me what I got _

I get this feeling

That time's just holding me down

I'll hit the ceiling

Or else I'll tear up this town"

The whole time the little turtle sang, he swayed his hips in tune. He stuck his leg out and shook it with all his might, switching from left to right every so often. He jutted his posterior out and wagged his stubby tail. Shippo and Miroku stared on in amazement. Shippo couldn't even muster any sort of emotion; he'd gotten so desensitized. Miroku on the other hand was silently taking notes on the turtle's moves, hoping to add them to his routine.

_Tonight I gotta cut,_

_Loose, footloose  
_

_Kick off your Sunday shoes_

_Please, Louise_

_Pull me offa my knees_

_Jack, get back_

_C'mon before we crack_

_Lose your blues_

_Everybody cut footloose_

The turtle threw his top hat to the side, whipped his head in a "sure to give anyone else whiplash" fashion. Suddenly, Kagome and Sango entered the clearing. Sango looked at the turtle. "Oh…how cute! It's a baby kangaroo!"

Everyone: blink, blink

"No, Sango. That's not a baby kangaroo. It's a-" Kagome never got to finish her sentence, seeing as how at that moment, the turtle strode over to Kagome, pulled her hand down to his level, and flipped her around, while singing,

_You're playing so cool_

_obeying every rule_

_Dig way down in your heart_

_you're yearning, burning for some_

_Somebody to tell you_

_That life ain't passing you by_

_I'm trying to tell you_

_It will if you don't even try_

Kagome and Sango: (while Kagome is still turning rather awkwardly in the air) ACK, IT'S A SINGING TURTLE/KANGAROO! (You can imagine who said "kangaroo") As Kagome came hurtling back to the ground, she closed her eyes, waiting for the pain that would surely come from smashing into the floor from such a height. But the breaking of her neck never came. Out of the blue, she was in someone's strong arms. She looked up to see Inuyasha, still in demon form, clutching her close. She half sighed, half screamed, not certain if in his arms was a good or bad place to be as of that moment.

_You can fly if you'd only cut_

_Loose, footloose_

_Kick off your Sunday shoes_

_Oowhee, Marie_

_Shake it, shake it for me_

_Whoa, Milo_

_C'mon, c'mon let go_

_Lose your blues_

_Everybody cut footloose_

Bad, Kagome decided. In Inuyasha's arms while he was singing a song from a movie he has never seen was definitely a _very _bad place to be. He threw her up in the air, catching her and spinning her away from him, then back toward him. When she thought she'd lose her lunch from all the motion, he stopped. With his arms still around her waist, he looked intently into the thicket of the forest. His ears heard something she could not, seeing as how he dropped her rather rudely, turned to look at Shippo, who was hiding behind Miroku's leg. Inuyasha plucked him up by his tail, and while holding him upside down, the turtle sang,

_To be a man,_

Inuyasha took his cue: _You must be swift as the coursing river_

Turtle: _To be a man_

Inuyasha: _With all the force of a great typhoon_

Turtle: _To be a man_

Inuyasha: _With all the strength of a raging fire_

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

At the last word, he chucked poor Shippo over the trees in the distance, yelling after him, _"Huah!"_

Shippo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…

Kagome, Sango, and Miroku: SHIPPO!

Shippo: …AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…_  
_Everyone turned to look at Inuyasha, floored by his actions. Unfortunately, they couldn't get a word out of him. Because Inuyasha was on the floor.

Sleeping.

The group looked around for the crazy turtle, but he was gone. There was no evidence whatsoever that everything they'd just seen had actually happened. And they liked it that way. They all decided to let that afternoon be kept with the remainders of their repressed memories. They all decided to find Shippo, hoping he wasn't dead, and coming up with excuses as to why he was thrown several hundred yards away into the distance without Inuyasha being the prime suspect. That would bring them back to that afternoon.

Bad.

Very bad idea.

Meanwhile, Shippo was still flying, and still screaming.

Shippo: …HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

With a loud thud, Shippo landed tail-first on the ground. Wincing in pain and annoyance, Shippo began muttering darkly under his breath.

"I can't stand that Inuyasha! Stupid, no good, rotten, son of a bi-"

Shippo abruptly stopped mid-curse word, when he looked up to meet the most amazing gray eyes he'd ever seen.

"K-Kisa?" he asked shyly.

The girl was standing over him, with a look of concern troubling her round face. She kneeled on one knee, examining him closely. "How did you know my name?" she asked. Shippo just blushed. Recognition dawned on the young girl, as she said, "Oh! You're the boy from earlier today! The one who can't talk!"

"I can talk!" Shippo said indignantly.

"Well, then why didn't you? You have a very nice voice." Kisa commented as she sat down on the grass, leaning on a tree. Shippo blushed even harder at this.

He shrugged, trying not to show how this girl he'd known for approximately 13 minutes (give or take one) had him completely wrapped around her adorable finger.

"I-I couldn't think…of anything…to-to say… to you, I mean."

"Well, now that I've got you talking, can you please answer my question?"

"Uh…?"

"What's your name?"

"It's…it's…uh…it's Shippo" he stuttered.

"Shippo? I like that. So, tell me, Shippo, why didn't you want to talk to me earlier?"

"I did. I was just too shy."

"Shy? What did you have to be shy about?"

Shippo was about to regress into his previous state of mental vegetation, when he remembered something…

**-flashback-**

"_To be a man…_

_You must be swift as the coursing river!_

_To be a man…_

_With all the force of a great typhoon!_

_To be a man…_

_With all the strength of a raging fire!_

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"_

**-end of flashback-**

'Yeah, I can do it. I'll be a river. And a typhoon. And a raging fire!' Shippo thought.

"Mysterious as the dark side of, the moon! Huah!" Shippo sung out. Kisa stared at him, bewilderment plain on her face. 

"What does the dark side of the moon have to do with you being shy?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing. I was shy, because…well, because I like you. A lot. And I didn't know how to talk to you." He scooted over till he was sitting next to her.

Kisa smiled at him. "You do?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I think I like you too, Shippo." They both blushed, when Kisa leaned over and kissed Shippo lightly on the cheek. He smiled widely at her, knowing this was true love. They sat there in a comfortable silence, when Kisa said, "Hey, Shippo?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why was I kidnapped by a bunch of talking rabbits?"

"Uh…"

* * *

END OF CHAPTER 9

So, there you have it. 13 pages! Took me almost a year to write, but it's there. I had about 50 separate cases of writer's block. I hope this chapter didn't seem too choppy. I have no idea what I'm doing for the next chapter. If you guys have any ideas (or Disney songs) please leave them in a review. And even if you don't, leave me a review anyway. Remember, REVIEW!

Much love,

Shiroryu

PS: Saffron Spice, the bum who didn't write a lick of this story, says to tell you all that she helped getting me out of my writer's block, by writing a completely crappy ending for me, that I had to correct immediately, because it was so stupid. Maybe at the end of the story I'll post it, along with this other chapter that was gonna be #4, but I decided it was no good. I'll name that chapter the "Be Happy, Because This is How the Story Could've Been" Muahahahaha!


	10. Boxers, Briefs, or nothing at all

Well, here it is. The next chapter in "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water"

I know I always have excuses, but they're usually really good ones, so bear with me. I got into a pretty bad car accident, thank God no one was hurt. I am a senior in high school, and I've had to apply for college, which is one of the most stressful endeavors I have ever faced. My sister came down with a severe case of bronchitis and I had to be with her for "emotional support" (At least, that's what I told my dad to get him to let me skip school) Nonetheless, I am sorry that it took so long. But look, now you have an early Christmas present from me!

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy.

I figured out why the last chapter didn't seem right. I completely forgot to add the reviewer response. So, here they are from chapter 8 and chapter 9

From chapter 8

crazy4dogboi: I'm glad you liked it. I can't believe you like "Just Those Rainey Days" I keep telling myself that I'm going to delete that story, but then I get reviews like yours that make me want to just cave in and post the utter crap that it the sequel. (I know that sounded weird, but that's a total compliment to you)

Laina-chan: I'm pleased that I could refresh your memory. It is hard to think of a Disney song that incorporates the ideas of burning in hell… Where did you go wrong, Walt? Where?

LadyRainStarDragon: Still love your name. As for your broom-o-doom… would you get one at WalMart, or Diagon Alley? I like that cork idea. Perhaps I can use it in a later chapter?

Ritoru Kani: You might want to try flying with magic dust and nice thoughts. Your jetpack seems a bit out of control. Wouldn't want you to get hurt while reading. (I think I'm liable)

Queen of Chipmunks: Love you name too. Yeah, thought I'd make sure you were paying attention. No, this story isn't over yet. I know this is a late update, but if you could restrain your evil chipmunks until after the story's is done, I'd appreciate it. I need to use them again…

Jazmen and Chris at school: why aren't you two doing something productive? Like learning! I am sincerely disappointed in the two of you. Especially you, Chris. Now I'm going to have to glomp the crap out of you.

WeirdPerson: Oh yes, it is from Hunchback of Notre Dame. Bring back fond memories?

AtticusBlackWolf: I love your name too! You guys are so original! I'm happy I could get a laugh out of you.

From chapter 9

crazy4dogboi: that's cool. I'm just glad you reviewed.

WeirdPerson: I had a pretty good giggle about the animals, too. Who doesn't like singing turtles?

Phenomenon: Aw! I love reviews like that. So positive! So uplifting! Makes me continue writing.

wizogirl192003: Hey wizo! Well, here's another chapter. Do I get another review?

NMareB4Xmas1223: Yes, I posted. Then I posted again. I love this cycle. Don't you just love chinchillas? They are so cute and furry!

sweetpotato1992: the _funniest_? Well, I am beyond flattered. I know for a fact that's going to go straight to my head.

inu's lover: Well, I love you too. And I'll love you even more if you review! So will this story.

mikomihino25: Oh, I'm a girl. Boobs and everything. Kook is a new word. I've gotten insane, crazy, mentally unstable, menace to society… but kook is new. I like it. I'm glad you were able to find my chapters enjoyable. Caution: many reviewers seem to have problems staying in their seats while reading. Please make sure to buckle up.

Racheru-Chan: It's only disturbing, scary, because it came out of my head. It almost makes you wonder about what goes on it there, huh?

Sango The Lecher Slayer: My sister loves your name. She gets a real kick out of it. Thank you. That is some _very_ good advice. I just might have to take you up on that. I had never really thought of it…

windgal: well, here it is. I'm happy you like it so much.

AtticusBlackWolf: Yeah, I like rabbits too. I used to have one. It's name was Oreo. My sister's was SnowBall. It used to growl at me, which made me sad. I can't say that I like possums as much as rabbits, but I'm glad my story is as awesome as one.

gopher: Printing out in class? You're like my sister! What is happening to the youth of today? Why aren't they learning in classrooms anymore! It's anarchy! Jk. Yes, I'll email you that I've updated. Hope this chapter measures up.

Phew! Well, that was great! I love responding to you guys. I can't believe I forgot to last time. Anyways, be forewarned, there is some fluff soft and cute enough to choke you at the end of this chapter. I cringed writing it, but it had to be done. I hope you all like this chapter! Remember, review!

Disclaimer: Don't own it, not making money, sincerely which I did and was.

Later that night, (much later) Shippo strutted to the campsite; little kiss marks placed decoratively around his face. With a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat's, he dusted off his shoulder and took his seat next to Inuyasha around the otherwise sleeping campfire.

"And, just where the hell have you been?" Inuyasha yawned. He couldn't understand why he was so tired lately.

Shippo's jaw dropped as he stared at Inuyasha in shock.

"What do you mean 'where the hell have you been?' For a good 10 minutes of my life, I was flying, thanks to you!"

"What are you talking about?" Inuyasha asked sleepily as he rubbed his eyes with his fists.

Just then Shippo's mouth was successfully clamped over by Kagome's delicate hand.

"Shippo! We're glad you're back!" Kagome gave him a look that clearly said, "You are not to speak of this. EVER."

Having no intentions of facing Kagome's wrath, he nodded his head in compliance.

Inuyasha watched the two with vague interest, too out of it to register what was going on. With a bad attempt at stifling his yawn, he lazily leapt into a large sakura tree, thankful that winter was almost here, and he didn't have to worry about stupid cherry blossoms finding homes deep in his nasal passages while he slept. The rest of the group fell into a peaceful sleep, Kagome and Shippo sleeping under Inuyasha's tree, and Miroku and Sango a bit further away from the group. They actually hadn't planned on that, but they'd talked long into the night, falling asleep right where they lay. Sango was the first to wake up, hours later. She gazed around the group, smiling at everyone in turn. When her eyes landed on Inuyasha however, her smile was quickly replaced with a look that plainly said, "what the hell?" Inuyasha was already up, but instead of looking like he belonged to the land of the living, he contented himself with watching his breath freeze in front of his face, giggling at the results, sucking in more air, and continuing the cycle. Sango poked at the sleeping Miroku intent on asking whether or not they should be worried about the half demon.

"I'm not a girl, not yet a woman." Miroku muttered, still thoroughly knocked out.

Sango's eyes raised in alarm, wondering just what that had meant. Panic rising in her throat, she poked him again, more urgently.

"Nothing but a T-shirt on. Never felt so beautiful, Baby as I do now" He mumbled, turning away from Sango's violating fingers.

Sango: …

Miroku: --

Sango, more than a little worried about the words coming out of her-uh- the monk's mouth, turned him back towards her, shaking him violently.

"So yesterday, so yesterday. Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be OK?"

Sango sighed heavily, rolled her eyes heavenward, and clamped her fingers over the sleeping monk's nose. She watched the groggy Inuyasha watching his breath as she waited for Miroku to wake up, gasping for air.

A slow, sneaky thought crept from her subconscious into her conscious, as she averted her gaze towards the stars above.

_"I wonder what will happen once the jewel is complete, and Naraku's dead."_

She hated that thought. She hated not knowing what would happen. She hated thinking about what could.

They'd been together for a long time. This group had somehow managed to become her family. She still loved and missed her own, and she knew they could never be replaced, but this group of friends did something else. They didn't replace her family. They just became another one. Her heart contracted at the mere thought of a time when she wouldn't have each of them by her side. Kagome, to gossip with, and to help her add estrogen to the otherwise all male group. Shippo, to remind her that there were still good things in this world worth protecting. Inuyasha, with his brash, arrogant demeanor, giving her a type of big brother she never thought she would ever come to need, much less want.

And then there was Miroku.

Her Miroku.

Even in the deep recesses of her mind, she flinched. It sounded so strange, even in the safety of her own thoughts.

And yet…

And yet, it felt right. She liked how it felt, the way it sounded, the meaning it brought. She was amazed at what a philosophical sap she'd become in the time she'd grown to love him. She often would imagine herself as an old, gray woman, still being pinched proudly by an old, gray man. An old, gray man that could still see the beauty of that woman in their younger days, just as clearly as if they'd been yesterday.

Yes, she wanted to grow old with him. Love him, and laugh with him. Argue and fight. Kiss and make up. Bear his children. Have him there to know them.

She wanted it all. With every passing day, that desire grew more desperate. And every time he placed his wandering hands on another woman, placed his lustful eyes on another beauty, he placed her fragile heart in a state of hopelessness.

Sango sighed. As much as she wanted to, she just couldn't see how he could look at her the way she looked at him (when he wasn't looking.) She let her eyes wander a bit, letting them rest on the still fitful Inuyasha.

Suddenly, a jolt of lightning ran through Sango as she remembered that she'd been worried about Inuyasha, and wanted to wake up Miroku to ask him what they should do.

Wait a minute…

"Miroku!"

Sango snapped her head down, realizing she was still pinching Miroku's nose. The most horrifying thing was though, that he'd never opened his mouth.

So now, Sango was staring into the very purple face of a sleeping, yet suffocating Miroku.

"You idiot!" she yelped, letting go immediately. She looked frantically into his face, searching for some kind of sign that he was still with her.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" she chanted, panic rising in her chest when she realized he still wasn't breathing.

"I KILLED MIROKU!" She wailed. She slapped at his face, pulled his ears, opened and closed his eyes, anything to get him to wake up.

Nothing worked.

"He's not breathing!" she told herself, even though herself was screaming "No duh!"

There must be something she could do. She thought back to any piece of information that might've helped. Suddenly, she remembered Kagome teaching her CPR from her Health class, because she'd felt if she needed to know it, so did Sango.

"Thank God for Kagome's Health class," she prayed. Sango squished Miroku's lips together on the sides, making them open slightly and tilted his head back. She leaned forward, but paused a second away from his mouth. _"Does this count as a kiss?"_ she wondered.

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, reminding herself that now wasn't exactly the time to ponder about whether or not resuscitating a person counted as a physical display of affection. She lowered her lips, until they met his. For a brief second, she saw fireworks, and heard bells, but she pushed all the feelings that rushed into her heart aside.

"_I have to save his life. I have to save his life. I have to save his life." _ She chanted to herself. She breathed into his mouth a few times, came up for air, pushed against his chest, and repeated. She did this about 4 times. The 5th time she went down, Miroku's lips closed, and she felt a slight pressure on her own lips. A bit startled, she looked into Miroku's face to see him staring back at her. Just as she was about to pull away, she felt his strong arms wrap around her waist, pulling her down against him, lips never parting. She gasped in surprise, letting Miroku's tongue snake into the recently opened orifice. She saw his eyes close, and against her sensible half, allowed her own to close as well. Her arms grew minds of their own, as they wrapped themselves in his hair (seeing as how getting them around his neck would've been a feat, what with the both of them lying on the ground) She could feel his chiseled muscles underneath the black robes against her own body. _"For a monk, he is REALLY built" _somewhere in her subconscious mind thought. But her conscious was a bit preoccupied with the new sensation she was feeling in not only her lips, but her heart as well. If she thought the little peck of life she gave him a few seconds earlier was something, this blew her way. To say she saw fireworks would be an understatement, they damn near blinded her. She no longer heard bells. She heard sirens, and whistles. Erupting volcanoes, and crashing waves. She didn't even feel the unseasonable snow falling around them. She saw, heard, and felt heaven.

And it scared the hell out of her.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she abruptly pushed away from Miroku, sliding to her feet in a mere second. Miroku, surprised and somewhat disappointed, rose to his feet too, and stepped toward her, staring at her questioningly.

"What's wrong?" he panted not exactly pleased about the break for air.

"No," she whispered, taking a step back. She placed her fingers on her still warm lips, staring wide-eyed at the monk. "No, no, no." she repeated. "Just, no." with that, she quickly turned around and bolted into the deep woods, leaving a confused and hurt Miroku in her wake.

Meanwhile…

Inuyasha was not watching the confrontation between his two friends. In fact, he really wasn't watching anything, so much as staring off stupidly into space. Nothing fazed him. Not Sango and Miroku's steamy encounter, not the snow falling in the middle of summer, and certainly not the pixie dressed in an alarming amount of yellow that had just landed on his knee, staring at him funnily.

Nope, nothing bothered him.

So, when the pixie clapped, hopped around, made faces, and belched rather rudely to get his attention, he found the feat to be a bit on the difficult side.

He did the only other thing he could think of…

**(Scene change, somewhere in the outback of Australia)**

A hunter looks around in vain for his extremely large boomerang. As he's looking in the pouch of an irate kangaroo mother, pushing the young joey aside, he hears a faint scream. He can't tell where it's coming from. After a few minutes, it stops. Shrugging his shoulders, he continues his search for his missing weapon.

**(Back to Japan)**

Inuyasha stopped screaming as the pixie pulled his pants back up and turned around to face him.

"I have been to hell and back." Inuyasha whispered. "Never before have I seen evil such as that."

The yellow pixie smiled, quite proud of himself. "I gather that I've got your attention?"

Inuyasha nodded, afraid to do or say anything to make the little chunk of pure evil repeat the action that had him so mortified.

"You are Inuyasha, the dog demon, right?"

"Yes."

"I have a question of the direst importance. Ever since I heard of you, this question has needed to be-"

"What is it?"

"-asked. This question could change how we all think and react. This question could-"

"What is it!"

"-defy the balance between good and evil, up and down, left and right, night and-"

"WHAT is it!"

"-day. Our entire natural order of things could be disrupted. But, I must ask you…"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE QUESTION!"

"Do you wear boxers, briefs, or thongs?"

Inuyasha: …

"Or perhaps you're one of the braver folk in this day in age. Perhaps you like a bit of a healthy breeze 'round your privates? Perhaps you don't don 'insufferable undergarments'?"

Inuyasha: OO… that was your question of the DIREST importance? What kind of underwear I wear?

"Or if you wear any at all!" the yellow pixie chimed in.

"OF COURSE I WEAR UNDERWEAR!" He screeched.

"Um…thanks?" a voice from underneath him said slowly. He looked under his branch to see Kagome looking at him strangely. He could feel his cheeks heating up at the thought of how loud he must've been. Of all things to yell out, the fact that he did indeed wear underwear was not too high on his "Things to Eventually Tell Kagome" List. (In fact, what was exactly on that list was still on Inuyasha's "Things to Come to Terms With" List)

Kagome gave him one last look of befuddlement before continuing on her way, not noticing the yellow pixie on Inuyasha's knee.

The pixie gave a low whistle as she walked away, exclaiming, "Wow! She's gorgeous!"

"I know." Inuyasha replied. He didn't realize the full impact of his words until he saw the little man's eyebrows rise in amusement.

"Wait! I didn't mean it like…she's just a stupid-"

"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene." The little man interrupted.

"Excuse me?"

"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene."

"What the hell is that?" Inuyasha asked, wandering why the hell the little man would randomly spit out such a ridiculously long word. It was a good thing he wasn't a Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic. (10 goobles to anyone who can tell me what this is. I swear, it's a real word)

"My name." The little man answered casually.

"Are you trying to tell me that your mother named you Sigurflookinikesockdingdong?"

"No. I'm trying to tell you that my mother named me Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene. Dad said she'd been to Mack and his Pot a little more times than necessary, if you know what I mean. But you can call me Fred."

"What?"

"Call me Fred."

Inuyasha gave him a puzzled look, wandering whether the little pixie had been to Mack and his Pot more times than necessary. "I thought you said your name was Sigurflookinikesockdingdong."

The pixie sighed. "No, I said my name was Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene. But you can call me Fred."

"Why Fred? That sounds nothing like your name."

"I know. I just like the way it sounds. Come on. Say it with me. Fred!" The pixie grinned.

Before any more of the previous Kikyo/Fred conversation could be copied and pasted here, Inuyasha growled lowly.

"Look, I don't know who you are, what you are, how you got here, or why you're here, but I do know when you'll be leaving."

"Really? Have they rescheduled my flight?"

"Yeah, they have. You're taking off right about…NOW!" with that, Inuyasha flicked poor Fred off his knee and into the distance.

"HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY!" Fred's voice cried from over the treetops. "I STILL HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION!"

"Good riddance." Inuyasha muttered as he shifted back into a comfortable position. He felt himself getting drowsy again, and before he could ponder as to why, he was fast asleep.

Sango finally stopped running and bent over, hands on her knees, panting hard. Her tears flowed freely, melting the snowflakes that were gathering on the ground. Her head was swirling, uninvited thoughts running in and out of her mind like teenagers at an out of control party thrown at someone's house while they're parents are away. She was just waiting for somebody to break the expensive vase that was her sanity. She just couldn't understand it. This was something she had waited for since the day she'd laid eyes on Miroku. She'd pined for his affection almost as hard as she longed for her family's return. He was the one thing she could never clear her head of. And the one time he had finally showed some sort of feelings for her that weren't shown to every single girl they'd come across; the one time he'd touched her without groping; the one time she'd felt truly complete…

"I pushed it away," she sighed heavily. She lay down on her back, letting her dark brown mane fan out around her. She spread her arms and legs out, and started making a snow angel, taking solace in the cold around her.

"_Freezing. Just like my heart."_

Sango slowed the movement of her limbs, letting her rampant thoughts cloud her mind.

"_Great job, you moronic pathetic excuse for a woman."_

"_You will never be happy."_

"I wonder how hard a person would have to jam a twig up there nose before they started sprouting leaves out of their ears..."

Sango sat bolt up. What kind of a disturbed train of thought does a person have to board to think along those lines? Just as she was about to declare herself mentally unstable (because her feudalistic diagnosis _really_ would've meant something…) she felt something on her shoulder. Turning to the right, she was nearly blinded by a mass of bright lemon yellow.

"AAAGGGHHH!" she yelped as she covered her eyes.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I should've warned you before you were graced with the wonderland that is my body. I'm sure it's hard to handle if you are presented to it unprepared." A voice said in the region where the yellow blob had been. Sango choked on her saliva.

She felt the weight move from her shoulders.

"You can look now."

Sango slowly uncovered her eyes to see a very small man standing a few feet away from her, his chest puffed out, his chin high, his eyes…

"What's wrong with your eyes?" she asked.

"I'm trying to seduce you through the power of winking." The little man said.

Sango laughed hysterically, feeling tears roll down her cheeks. She held her belly, trying to calm herself.

"I wasn't kidding." The man said.

"Oh," Sango sobered immediately. "I'm sorry, uh…"

"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene. Not Sigurflookinikesockdingdong. Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene. But you can call me Fred. I know it doesn't sound anything like my name, but that's just life."

Sango nodded. She studied Fred, realization dawning on her. "Hey, you're a pixie, aren't you?"

Fred smirked as if he were Hugh Heffner. "Why, yes I am. I see my reputation precedes me."

"Uh, no, it's not that. I just remember you and your group attacking Kagome."

"Attack Kagome? Never! I wanted to give her a black rose and ending up spending my time with a dead lady with way too much hostility crammed up her butt. She was unpleasant."

"I gather you mean Kikyo?"

"Yeah, that was her. Totally waste of seduction techniques. Very odd woman. Kept singing about fire. I think she's a pyromaniac."

"Ah." Sango replied. They sat in a silence for a few minutes until Sango said, "Look, I'm sure you're really nice, but I'm not looking for company right now."

"You'd prefer to wallow in self-pity after that pitiful display with the man of your dreams back there? Yeah, I would too. You completely embarrassed yourself. I don't know how you could even go back and face him. You might as well say hello to your virginity, because it's here to stay! Too bad, you've got a pretty nice rack that would've been extremely appreciated."

"Why you little-" Sango made a move to strangle the pixie, but he jumped out of the way in time.

"Hey, I'm just saying…"

"What the hell do you know about it anyway? It's not like I like him, so why should I care?"

"Right. You don't like that Marabou-"

"Miroku."

"Whatever. You don't like him. And the earth is _actually_ a sphere."

"It is."

"It is?"

"Yes."

"You mean Mother lied to me? NO!" Fred sank to the ground, beating at the snow in his frustration at the new information.

Sango: "Um…"

Fred regained his composure and stared at her with fiery intensity. "So, what are you gonna do with this Marauder-"

"Miroku."

"Whatever. What are you gonna do? It's obvious you love him."

Sango sighed in defeat. "Yeah, I do. I really do. I am so in love with Miroku." It felt so good saying it out loud. To finally admitting to someone else what her heart had been saying for so long. But as the weight of her secret was lifted off her soul, another weight became heavier. The gravity of the consequences of her affections.

"There's nothing I can do about it." She said quietly. "As much as I love him, I can't change the fact that he's a heartbreaker. He's a playboy. He's a tramp. And my feelings for him can never be reciprocated."

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Fred shook his head consolingly. "No, don't think like that. I don't believe that he doesn't have feelings for you. I believe that his feelings run just as deep as yours do."

Sango snorted a little through her tears. "Yeah, right."

Fred stepped forward, and took Sango's hand (which was about as big as a third of his body) and patted it with his own. "You know, you'll feel better if you let it out. Why don't you sing?"

"Sing?"

"Yes. Sing. Sing about what a playboy that Marlboro-"

"Miroku."

"Whatever. Sing about what a playboy he is."

"I think I'll pass. That'll just depress me even more."

"No, really. It actually helps. I'll start off." Fred cleared his throat, sung a couple of octaves, and cracked his knuckles.

"The man they call Mustafa-"

"Miroku."

"Whatever. He's really a piece of work.

The ladies call him a wild animal, a tiger in the bed,

God's gift to women, a hunk of hot, burning-"

"FRED!"

"Oops, right. Anyways, he's actually a big fat…uh…what rhymes with work?"

"Jerk?"

"Jerk! That works! He's actually a big fat jerk!" Fred proclaimed triumphantly.

Sango rolled her eyes "That, by far, was the worst song I've ever heard in my life."

"You've never heard a dead woman singing about her preoccupation with the fires of hell, have you?"

"You know what? Maybe I'll do it myself."

"Hmph, well, if you wanna ruin the mood I've set-"

"Which I sincerely do-"

"-then I guess it's your decision." Fred huffed, sticking his nose in the air like an aristocrat

"I suppose it is." Sango replied. She sighed, and muttered an "I don't believe I'm doing this," before she opened her mouth, and sung softly,

"_He's a tramp  
But I love him  
Breaks a new heart  
Every day_

_He's a tramp  
They adore him  
And I only hope  
He'll stay that way"_

Fred clapped joyously. "That's what I'm talking about!" He flew into the air, and tugged on Sango's hand, motioning for her to stand as well. He spun around in the air, catching snowflakes and tossing them at Sango.

"_He's a tramp  
He's a scoundrel  
He's a rounder  
He's a cad  
He's a tramp" _warbled Fred.

Sango giggled. Fred's singing voice was, to say the least, out of this world. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good either. It was…

Fred's.

His words sunk into Sango's mind. Even though they were true, she couldn't help but have a feeling of regret. No matter what she did, he seemed to pop out of nowhere in her mind. No matter what he said, she always tried to find hidden meanings in his words. No matter what happened, there was always that "but"…

"_But I love him  
Yes, and even I  
Have got it pretty bad  
You can never tell  
When he'll show up"  
_Fred shook his head. Why couldn't this girl see that she could do better than this Melrose's Place who's feelings weren't 100 clear to her? Even if he hadn't been around very long, he could tell this was causing Sango a lot of heartache. Even more than the heartache (or heartburn) chicken enchiladas gave him on Wednesday nights. And that, to say the least, was pretty painful.

"_He gives you  
Plenty of trouble  
I guess he's just a  
No 'count pup"  
_Miroku stepped cautiously over the underbrush, his thoughts running madly.

'What did I do wrong? Why did she look so afraid?'

He had been rooted to the spot Sango had left him for a while, not sure what to do. Should he run after her? Let her cool off? Pretend it didn't happen? Curse himself for letting it happen? Hope for more…?

He stared quietly into space, for once in his life, not knowing what to do next. That was the thing about Sango. She was the only one who was ever able to disrupt his usually cool and calm demeanor. She was the only one who was ever able to make him doubt. Around her, he felt like a 12-year old little boy, unable to take hold of his feelings. Why couldn't he just…just…

"Just be a man and follow her," a voice said from behind him. He swirled around to see Kagome standing there, hand on stuck out him, foot tapping impatiently, and a look of utter annoyance.

"What?"

"Be a man and follow her." She repeated slowly. When he didn't make any motions of adhering to her directions, she sighed. "I can't believe it took you this long, and now you're not going to make your move."

"Make my move! I already did!"

"No, she was trying to save your life, and you took advantage of the situation. Why don't you try it when she knows you're conscious? Stop hiding. That's why she ran off."

"Hiding? I am not hiding!" He said huffily.

"Listen to me Miroku. Now is not the time to get prideful. Think about it. Can you really blame the girl for freaking out on you? You are a renowned ladies' man. This just looks like another grope session to her. And she wants so much more than that. Can't you see?"

Miroku took her words to heart. He guessed he could understand why Sango reacted the way she did. Because he was a jackass.

"Shit." He cursed. He darted in the direction Sango left in, determined to make her realize that she meant so much more to him that he let on.

So, there he was, searching for his true love (and he grimaced at how corny the thought sounded, even in his own head.) He slowed as he heard low murmuring. He approached it cautiously, not wanting to call attention to himself, in case the noise was being produced by a maniacal hunger circus bear. Because that would extremely unfortunate for him and the rest of this story if he were mauled beyond recognition by a bear with misplaced hostility in a tutu. As he came closer to the sound, he concluded it wasn't a bear. It was Sango, singing.

_But I wish that he  
Were double  
He's a tramp  
He's a rover  
_Fred heard rustling in the background and turned around to see Marble-head staring at Sango with an intense look. Like deep concentration. He made eye contact with the monk and nodded slowly at him. Maybe this Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade guy wasn't so bad after. With a name like his, he couldn't be. He looked back at Sango and watched her singing and spinning in circles in the snow.

'I hope he treats her right.' Fred thought. With one last look at Madison Square, he flew over to Sango and sung lowly,

_And there's nothing  
More to say  
If he's a tramp  
He's a good one  
_Sango nodded. "He is a tramp. But I do love him. More and more every day." She sighed. She didn't notice that Fred had left. She didn't notice that she was still singing. The only thing she noticed was the snow falling around, and the feeling in her heart expand.

_And I wish that I  
Could travel his way  
_She spun around, faster and faster, willing her pain to slip away. Unfortunately, the only thing that slipped was her footing. Sang yelped as she felt gravity pulling her toward the earth. As she was about to collide with it in the most painful of ways, the sensation of falling was halted, and she felt strong arms around her waist. Confused she looked down to see her face floating a foot or so above the ground.

'Hmm," she thought. 'This is not normal.' She then felt herself being shifted so she was standing upright. Turning around slowly, she looked up to see the violet eyes she'd been dreaming about.

"Miroku…" she breathed. Remembering the morning's events, she felt a blush creep over her face. "Listen, about what happened earlier-"

"No." he interrupted.

"No?"

"No. I can't listen to what you have to say about what happened earlier if you aren't informed enough about it."

"Not informed! What the-"

"Yes, uninformed. You have no idea what happened, because you don't know everything behind the scenes."

"Oh, really? Like what don't I know?" she asked, getting agitated that he was toying with her.

"Well, you don't know how much I think about you. Or how much cheese Shippo has eaten in the last 2 days. Or how much I imagine you in my arms. Or how much oxygen I must've lost with you trying to suffocate me. Or how hard it is to see you in pain. Or how many squirrels I've counted over the years. Or how in love I am with you. Or how mean a moose can be during mating season. Or how-"

Sango's heart skipped a beat. "You love me?"

"Well, technically, I said I'm in love with you."

"But…"

"No. No buts about it. Well, now that I'm thinking of it, if you'd like to get your shapely posterior involved in this, I can't say that I would-"

Sango cut his words off by pressing her lips to his, letting go of all her inhibitions (well, not ALL of them. In love or not, he was still Miroku…) He wrapped his arms tightly around her, as if he'd never let go of her. They stayed that way until the need to breathe became urgent.

"I love you, Miroku." Sango panted, trying to catch her breath. "Tramp and all."

"Maybe so, but I only want to be your tramp."

…

"That didn't come out right, did it?"

Sango shook her head. "No, it didn't."

"Well, maybe I can redeem myself?"

"Maybe."

Miroku moved in for another kiss, when he stopped a breath away from the lips he'd been craving since god knows when. "I didn't know you sang." He whispered.

"Neither did I."

"Maybe there's something in the water?"

"No, just something in my heart."

With a smile, Miroku closed the gap between the two. The snow fell softly around them, and the world seemed at perfect peace…

"WILL YOU GO AWAY! YOU ARE OF THE DEVIL! AND NO, I'M NOT TELLILNG YOU WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR I WEAR, YOU LITTLE PSYCHO!"

Well, almost.

There it is. The latest chapter in "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water" I hope you all enjoyed. Remember to review. And if you have any ideas for songs I haven't used yet, they would be greatly appreciated. (Preferably from movies I haven't stolen songs from yet) Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and have safe holidays!

Much love,

Shiroryu


	11. Too Much Random Stuff to Title

Hey all!

Well, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! Can you believe it's already 2006? Furthermore, can you believe I'm updating during the same season and nearly the same month? Will wonders never cease? Not much going on over here on this side of the monitor. I turn 18 on the 10th, so that'll be exciting. I had a conversation with my mother about what I wanted to do.

Mom: Hey, what do you want to do for your 18th birthday?

Me: I want you to take me to a liquor store.

Mom: Oo? You've gotten your birthdays mixed up. You can't do that for another 3 years.

Me: No, I don't want alcohol. I want a lottery ticket.

Mom: A lottery ticket?

Me: Yep. Oh, and I'm going to call one of those infomercials with the blue screen at the end that always tell you their product is $19.95, because they always say "Must be eighteen or older to call."

Mom: So, you're going to order something?

Me: Oh, no. I just want to call and be like, "No, I don't want anything. Today is my 18th birthday, so now I'm old enough to call. Yay me!"

Mom: rolls eyes Whatever…

See, I'm not easy to please. All I want is a lottery ticket. Oh, and reviews from you. Simple enough, right?

* * *

Yay, it's time for Review Comments!

Kris: yeah, I know. The whole story is a bit twisted, huh? But that's the whole fun of it. Try not to fall out of your chair. We seem to be having a real problem on our hands with my reviewers inability to stay seated while reading this story. I think I might have to start adding warning notices to each chapter…

Katsheswims: Thank you. Well, I don't think this chapter is going to clear anything up for you. I am such a mean authoress…

Bad-ass-cali-chick: so, judging from your user name, may I assume that you're from California, and a bad ass at that? Can't say that I'm a bad ass, but I'm from the Golden State as well, so yay! And yes, you are absolutely correct. It is the fear of long words.10 goobles for you! I am so glad I have intelligent readers.

Sango the Lecher Slayer: Kagster be Jewish… wow, I think I could have almost TOO much fun with that idea. I'm sure I'd take the madness to a whole new level with that song. Hmm…

Briea: Yes! I am so happy you liked it. 10 goobles to you! That is absolutely correct. Bambi, huh? So does that song take up about half of the 800-something words in that movie? If you send me the lyrics, I'll see if I can use them. No promises, since I haven't watched the movie since I was 10, and have no idea what the context of the song is so I can screw it up.

Miroir: wow, I am so flattered. You guys really shouldn't say such nice things. It totally bloats my head, and everyone knows bloated heads lead to problems coordinating outfits. But I am extremely happy that you laughed so much. That is the main mission of this fic (other than to get all of this crap out of my head…)

Namelessevil: ooh, I like your name. That's right on groovy. 10 goobles to you! That's right. It is the fear of long words. Yeah, that is very ironic. People who suffer from it can't even tell people what they're suffereing from. It's almost cruel, isn't it? Ack, you're gonna get that song stuck in MY head. And as if I don't have enough weird songs floating around up there…

Crazy4dogboi: isn't that part so funny? Goblet of Fire was one of my favorite books in the series. And thank you, I did have a happy holiday. I hope you did as well.

Well, that's all the reviewer comments! On with the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm almost 18, I can say that I don't own the characters or the songs. Just the madness. But, now maybe I can buy some stocks in the Inuyasha and Disney companies. That way I can write "partially own" Hmm… that is something to look into…

* * *

Naraku, to say the least, was not amused. He was actually so very not amused, that his normal plain old evil creepy-looking eyes started flashing different colors, and he developed a twitch in his neatly plucked left eyebrow. He was still wearing his decorative robes, so you can imagine how intimidating he seemed. Well, not intimidating so much as… flamboyant. But flamboyancy in a guy like Naraku is still a very scary prospect. So one could see why the pixies were shaking so much.

"What do you mean, you 'didn't finish her'?" Naraku growled at he looked down at the large gathering of pixies on his floor.

"Well, just that. She was too powerful. We couldn't do it." Lorehaug said as he twisted his amethyst ring around his finger nervously.

Naraku: (insert an angry outburst of expletives here)

"It's not our fault! We're just pixies! We LOST the War of the Charmed, remember? We really don't even like fighting!" Gailem jumped in. "We would much rather be outside, flying kites or something."

Naraku's eyes narrowed. "If you're going to be on my side when this is all said and done, you are going to have to start to like fighting. There will be no kite flying. You are going to have to be ruthless, merciless, and heartless. But all I get from you is clueless."

"Clueless my ass!" a pixie shouted. Her brethren tried to 'shush' her, but she pushed her way up to the front of the crowd, pointing an angry finger at Naraku. "I've heard the whispers about you. I've heard the stories. From what I can tell, we're not on the right side. I've got a clue about you, alright. You're evil!"

Naraku rolled his eyes. "No shit. Of course I'm evil! My name is 'Naraku' for Pete's sake! When's the last time you've heard of a good guy with that name? The whispers, the murmurs, the stories… they probably don't even do me justice."

Yerwam's turquoise eyes glared at Naraku. "Then why should we want to be a part of your plan?"

"Because while my side isn't the right side, it will be the winning side. And all those who aren't on it… well, let's just say they eventually won't be on any side."

"Well, then where will they be?" a confused voice asked. All eyes traveled upward to see Fred sitting happily on a shelf, next to something pickled and blinking in a jar.

"I think he was trying to be cryptic." Gailem informed him.

"Well, that was a pretty bad job. If he wanted to be cryptic, he should've said something like 'don't trust the trees' or 'we aren't the only ones with ears here' or 'don't lick the steak knife.'."

"I don't think that last one was very cryptic at all." Yerwam commented.

Fred shrugged. "Beggars can't be choosers."

"I AM STILL RIGHT HERE!" Naraku roared.

"We all are very much aware of that. Even though we all are representing the colors of the rainbow, you are kind of hard to miss with all the sequins." Lorehaug pointed out.

Naraku looked worried and pat down his robes. "They don't make me look…hefty, do they?"

"No comment." Fred replied.

"Why you little-"

"Eh hem…" someone coughed from the doorway. All eyes looked to see Kagura, leaning against the doorframe, looking less than enthusiastic.

"What is it?" her master barked at her. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Oh, yes. Really busy, asking a bunch of pixies whether or not you look fat in your fruity robes."

"You'll be careful how you address me, Kagura. I know how _faint_ _of heart_ you are."

"See?" Gailem said to Fred. "_That_ was cryptic."

"I suppose. I could've done better tho-"

"SHUT UP!" Naraku yelled. He turned his attention back to Kagura. "What do you want?"

"Our spies say that Inuyasha and his crew seem to be very lax at this point. They're off guard. Especially the monk and the demon slayer. Word on the grapevine is, they _finally_ got together."

"Well, it's about damn time. It only took them forever and a day. Jeez, that monk is so clueless when it comes to women!" Naraku said.

"This coming from a guy who's love life entails chasing after a dead woman who STILL won't give you the time of day."

Before Naraku could kill Kagura, Fred said, "You mean Kikyo? That woman is such a wet blanket. Which is really a feat, what with her preoccupation with the fires of hell and all."

Everyone: blink, blink

"When did you see Kikyo?" Lorehaug voiced aloud what everyone was thinking.

"A few days ago. Oh, and by the way, does painting daisies black constitute a black rose?"

"No, Fred. It doesn't." Yerwam sighed. "No wonder Mom never stopped going to Mack and his Pot after you were born."

"Shut up! What do you know? There's gotta be something in the water!"

"What?"

"I dunno. Everyone's been saying it a lot lately." Fred shrugged. "I wanted to feel like a sheep. Bah…"

Everyone: blink, blink.

"Enough of this nonsense. I suppose I can't blame you for failing miserably at your task." Naraku dramatically looked off into space, as if contemplating some intense question of the cosmos. Everyone else just kind of stood there, wandering what the hell he was looking at, when he swerved his head back toward them.

_What can you expect  
From that nasty little hanyou?  
His whole disgusting race is like a curse  
His coat's a hellish red  
He'll be good when he's dead  
He's a vermin, as I said  
And worse_

After Naraku's little schpeel, he looked expectantly at Kagura.

"Ah man, do I have to?"

"Yes, you have to! We've practiced this. Now, go get your sister!"

"Yes sir." Kagura mumbled. She stalked off, grumbling like a pissed off teenager. Which, come to think of it, isn't that far off from the truth. The pixies waited in silence as elevator music started playing and Naraku examined his fingernails interestedly. Finally, after about 3 minutes, Kagura returned with Kanna in tote. Naraku gave them a look. They both rolled their eyes, sighed, and then,

_Half-breed mutt! Half-breed mutt!_

Naraku:  
_Barely even demon_

Kagura and Kanna:  
_Half-breed mutt! Half-breed mutt!_

During this random outburst of song, Fred quietly slipped out of the open window, flying toward where he last left Inuyasha's gang, thinking to himself "I wonder if I'll ever fly as fast as Santa Clause…"

Naraku:  
_Wipe them on the floor!  
They're not like you and me  
Which means they must be human  
We must sound the drums of war!_

Demons (and pixies):  
_He's a half-breed mutt, half-breed mutt  
Hangs out with those humans  
Now we sound the drums of war!

* * *

_

**To Inuyasha and the gang…**

"Look, I know you guys are in love, or whatever, but do you think you could stop pushing your tongues down each others throats long enough to talk about our next course of action…(no response) or eat… (still none) or even breathe?" Inuyasha asked exasperated.

(cue sickening mushy kissy sounds)

"I'll take that as a no." He mumbled.

Sango was sitting on Miroku's lap, his arms around her waist, her arms entangled in his hair… the absolute perfect picture of what everyone had been hoping to see from those two. But not for 3 HOURS STRAIGHT!

"Oh, leave them alone Inuyasha. They deserve this." Kagome said, her eyes glued to her Geometry homework.

"Yeah, but I don't. Besides, you don't have to sit and watch them swap spit!"

"Um, you don't either. In fact, I'm a little worried that you've been watching as long as you have. Are you gonna do this on their wedding night as well?" Kagome teased, looking up at him.

Inuyasha's faced turned pale and he spluttered out, "No! That's-that's…ew!"

Kagome laughed. "Relax, I'm just kidding."

"Not funny." Inuyasha retorted. He glowered angrily into the distance. Kagome shrugged, getting back to her homework. After a few minutes, Inuyasha asked, "Where's the runt?"

"You mean Shippo?"

"Yes, what other runt would I be talking about?"

"You should stop calling him that. You're gonna give him a complex."

"He already has a complex! He thinks he can fly!"

"Well, he could, until you ruined it."

"You mean by scientific reasoning?"

"Oh shut up."

"You havne't answered my question."

"What question?"

"The one I just asked you."

"Well, repeat it, because I don't remember it."

"Obviously."

"Are you gonna ask the stupid question or not."

"Not if you're gonna get so crabby."

"I am not being crabby!"

"Yes you are."

"No I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are-"

"JUST ASK HER THE STUPID QUESTION!" Kagome and Inuyasha looked from their bickering to see Miroku glaring at them.

"Oh, so you finally stopped sucking fa-" before Inuyasha could finish his sentence, Miroku had gone back to what he had been doing previously. Sucking face with Sango.

Inuyasha turned towards Kagome. "Look, I just was wondering where the runt, I mean, where Shippo is."

Kagome nodded. "With Kisa."

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow. "Aren't things moving a little fast with this Kisa?"

"Would you prefer him to wait 3 years?" Kagome blurted out before she could stop herself. 3 years. That was exactly how long she had known Inuyasha. Kagome closed her eyes in embarrassment, hoping he hadn't noticed.

Unfortunately, the dimwit only noticed the things she _didn't_ want him to notice. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kagome opened her mouth to lie like a kid with his hand caught in a cookie jar, but her words never escaped her. She was interrupted by a high shriek and a flash of yellow whizzing by her and landing soundly into a tree about 20 feet away from her.

"Oh damn, not him again." Inuyasha muttered. Confused, Kagome took a tentative step towards the hole in the tree.

"Fred, is that you?" Sango's voiced asked. Inuyasha turned to Sango with an air of resentment in his voice. "You stop your revolting never ending tongue escapades for FRED!"

Sango ignored him, leapt off of Miroku's lap (who looked like he would kill this 'Fred' for interrupting his, "Tongue Exploration Session" with Sango) and strode over to the tree. "Fred, is that you?"

Kagome was starting to get annoyed, seeing all her friends knew who this Fred was except her. She marched toward Sango and Fred, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Fred pull his head out of the bark that had previously encased it like the earth encases Inuyasha's face when Kagome "sits" him.

She took one look at him, screamed "DEMON PIXIES!"

She turned around to run and very ungracefully smashed into a tree.

"Damn…" she muttered as she rubbed her nose. Her vision was a bit out of focus, so when she finally came to, everyone was staring at her.

"Wow! You hit that tree really hard." 'Fred' said. Kagome started backing up. "You stay away from me, you demon pixie!"

Fred raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that there is no such thing as a demon pixie, right? It would be physically impossible, judging by the extremities in size of a demon and a pixie. Do you really think I could properly satisfy a female demon in all her great glory with my willing to please yet lacking-"

"OK, we get it! Demons and pixies don't procreate!" Inuyasha interrupted.

Fred shrugged his shoulders. Sango looked down at him and asked, "What brings you back? You left so suddenly, right after Miroku and I…" she left the question hanging, everyone there being able to pick up where she'd left off.

"Oh, I had to go visit Naraku." Fred said calmly.

"NARAKU!" Inuyasha yelled. In an instant, he had Fred by the collar, face to face with him. "You know where Naraku is?" He growled fiercely.

Fred was not put out by this sudden terrifying invasion of personal space. "Jeez, even though your ears look like a cat's, and you climb in trees, you _definitely_ have dog breath."

Inuyasha was about to pummel Fred into next Tuesday (which would've been terrible for Fred, since he had to spend his Tuesdays with Maury, his vegetable of an uncle) when Miroku stepped in, unclenched Inuyasha's fist from around Fred's collar, and set him down.

"How long have you been in contact with Naraku?" Miroku asked.

"Uh, the last few weeks."

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US!" Inuyasha roared.

"Well, it's not like you asked. Plus, I just met the majority of you." Fred replied.

"How do we know we can trust him?" Kagome asked suspiciously. "He was a part of the attempted murder on my life to kill me!"

snicker, snicker

"It is NOT funny!"

"What do you mean, attempted murder on your life to kill you? Isn't that a bit redundant?"

"Shut up. You know very well what I mean. You and your pixie friends jumped me and tried to kill me!"

Fred's eyes grew as big as saucers at this revelation. "Really? How did we do?"

"Obviously not good enough if I'm still standing here!" Kagome shrieked.

Fred looked disappointed. "Darn it. We really are terrible fighters."

Kagome shook her head. "What the hell do you want?"

"Are you on some sort of hell-bent kick as well?"

"What?"

"Well, your twin, Kikyo, wouldn't stop talking about hell, and how she wanted to take him (points at Inuyasha) there. Told her she was whackers."

"Kikyo's around here?" Inuyasha asked anxiously.

"Can we PLEASE stay focused?" Miroku said, getting annoyed. "Fred, you got some explaining to do!"

"Aw Ricky, can't I be in the show?" Fred whined.

Miroku: Oo? "Huh?"

"Sorry, that just sounded like the right thing to say."

"Whatever. First of all, are you working with Naraku?"

"Yes."

"Then why should we trust you?"

"Because he's coming to kill you all. He should be here very shortly." Fred replied calmly.

"WHAT!"

"Yeah, his spies have told him that you've all become pretty lackadaisical, a word which here means apathetic, laid-back, and or careless, and now would be the perfect time to get rid of you. So, I thought you'd all want to know. But if you're gonna be distrustful of me, then I might as well go home."

"Why did you try to kill me?" Kagome asked.

"I didn't. I wasn't even there. I went to bring you some black roses, but ran into Kikyo on my way. She's very unpleasant, by the way."

"Ok, so why did your pixie-brethren try to off her?" Sango asked.

"Naraku thinks Inuyasha won't be able to fight properly if she's gone."

"That does make sense." Miroku mused.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean!" Inuyasha indignantly asked.

"Just what it sounds like." Sango chirped. "When Kagome is here, you fight wonderfully. Even _I_ wouldn't stand a chance. But heaven forbid you two have an argument and she goes home… talking to you is like talking to a tree stump, only less stimulating. And you can't even call what you do fighting, so much as moving your sword in an ambiguous manner."

"Hey! That is not true! I function just as well when Kagome isn't here as when she is." Inuyasha huffed.

"No, you don't." a dismembered voice from the trees chimed in. All heads turned upwards to see Shippo grinning down at them.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Kisa?" Kagome asked.

"No, she had to go and help her mother. We've made arrangements to rendezvous at a later time." He said with a sly grin.

"Aww…" Sango and Kagome sighed at the same time. "That is so romantic!"

Inuyasha looked sickened. "I think we have more things to worry about other than Shippo's love life."

"True. I was listening. What are we going to do?" Shippo agreed.

"Well, this is what we've been waiting for, right?" Sango laughed nervously.

"He's bringing an army." Fred said. "You will all be outnumbered, 1 to 30 at least."

"Who cares?" Inuyasha said. "We'll just have to show Naraku what we're made of. We've come too far to back down now. We are too strong! We have too much heart! It doesn't matter that we're the underdogs. We've always been the underdogs. That's not going to stop us from kicking Naraku's-"

"Hahaha!" Fred's peals of laughter interrupted Inuyasha's motivational speech.

"What the hell is so funny, you annoying little-"

"You said 'underdogs'! It was a pun, since you really ARE a dog! And you DON'T wear UNDERwear! Hahaha!"

"I DO TOO WEAR UNDERWEAR!" Inuyasha roared.

"ENOUGH!" a loud voice rung out. Everyone turned in shock towards the owner of the voice.

"We can't lose it here. Like Inuyasha said, we've come too far to back down." Kagome said. Having everyone's attention, her mouth took over. Suddenly, much like what had happened with Miroku and Inuyasha, the sun was turned off and a spotlight shown on Kagome's form.

_This is what we feared  
The girl face is a psycho  
The only thing he feels at all is greed_

Another spotlight shown on Sango. A bit surprised at first, she got a hold of herself, and with her momentum building she sung out,

_Beneath that milky hide  
There's emptiness inside!_

Fred smiled in the dark. He loved it when everyone randomly burst out into song. He snapped his fingers, and another spotlight was placed on him. Puffing his chest out and using an extremely deep voice no one had ever heard him use (Think James Earl Jones deep- Darth Vader from Star Wars, for those of you who don't know)

_I wonder if he even bleeds_

Miroku, Kagome, Fred, Sango, and Shippo all looked at each other and nodded, ignoring Inuyasha's bewildered look. The entire forest was still dimmed, but bright lights showered the five.

_They're savages! Savages!  
Barely even human  
Savages! Savages!_

Inuyasha stared in horror. It was happening again. Only this time, Kagome was involved, which made it seem a little less horrible. But, the jumping like proud gazelles in the Serengeti at each harsh proclamation of "savages" was a little unnerving. What was seriously unnerving was seeing Miroku stand in the middle of the dancing group. Because Inuyasha had had very bad experiences with situations like that. So, one can see why when Miroku opened him mouth, Inuyasha ducked for cover.

_Killers at the core_!_They're different from us  
Which means they can't be trusted_

Shippo:  
_We must sound the drums of war  
_

Inuyasha:

What drums?

Miroku, Kagome, Fred, Sango, and Shippo:  
_They're savages! Savages!_

Inuyasha suddenly plucked Fred out of the quintet. In a loud voice he said (but actually ended up singing,)

_First we deal with this one_!

He looked Fred in the eye. "Before anything else happens, we need to know: Are you with us?" Fred stared Inuyasha back in the eye, determination settling on his face. He nodded and said, "Until the very end." Satisfied, Inuyasha put him down, and walked to the center of his group, and yelled out (which again, ended up singing,)

_Now we sound the drums of war!

* * *

_

**Back to Naraku and the pixies**

Naraku was marching ahead of a large army through the forest. He didn't only have pixies. No, he had goblins, and trolls, demons, and even the boogeyman. He took the saying "The Calvary is here" to a whole new meaning

Monsters:  
_Half-breed mutt! Half-breed mutt!_

One particular nasty looking hobgoblin:  
_Let's go kill a few, men!

* * *

_

**Back to Inuyasha and the group**

Kirara:  
_Meow, meow, meow! Meow, meow, meow!_ (translation: _Savages! Savages!_)

* * *

**Back to Naraku again**

Naraku:  
_Now it's up to you, men!_

Yerwam:

And women too, you chauvinistic bastard!

Suddenly, Naraku stepped into a clearing, where Inuyasha and his group were waiting. Inuyasha had Tetsuaiga held out, Sango's boomerang was positioned over her head, Miroku's hand was dangerously close to the prayer beads that kept his Wind Tunnel in check, Shippo had his tops of doom spinning, growing larger with each turn, and Kagome had her arrow pointed at Naraku. Inuyasha sneered. "You're cocky. Thinking YOU will be enough to take us down. Where's your army?"

Naraku grinned his maniacal grin. "Right here." With a flourish of his hand, his army stepped out from behind the trees and brush.

The demons hissed and growled, the trolls pounded their giant clubs, and the goblins scratched their long fingernails down the sides of trees. And for reasons beyond anyone's knowledge, everyone in the clearing broke out into song, all singing the same tune, but with different versions.

_Half-breed mutt! Savages!  
Barely even human! Barely even demon!  
Now we sound the drums of war!_

Kagome had just closed her mouth, after hitting a very nice soprano note. Maybe she wasn't that bad after all. She looked ahead, just in time to see Naraku turn his head around and yell "CHARGE!" She let her arrow fly, and was stringing another one when she saw a familiar gaudy cloud of violence emerge from behind Naraku. Greens, purples, pinks, and oranges, along with countless other colors. She screamed out, "DEMON PIXIES!"

… and then fainted.

* * *

**A few hours later…**

"Kagome? Kagome, wake up!"

"Ngh…" Kagome muttered groggily. She opened her eyes to meet a pair of round brown ones.

"Kagome, are you ok?" Sango asked. "You almost hit the dirt really hard, but Inuyasha caught you just in time."

"_Inuyasha…?... what a mean joke for a mother to play…"_ Kagome thought. _"Why does that name sound so familiar_?" She tried to piece things together.

Let's see here… yellow man, feudal era, large boomerang, perverted monk, fox, warm body, gold eyes, warm body, silver hair, sexy abs, warm body, great bu-"

But wait! Warm body? Kagome gently lifted her hand and pressed it to the soft material she found herself leaning on. She liked the feeling of the hard but gentle… whatever underneath the red…whatever she was leaning on.

"Ooh…I like this…" Kagome mumbled as she caressed whatever it was she was caressing.

"Uh…Kagome?" the voice asked.

Kagome let her eyes move toward the owner of the voice. Brown eyes, kind face, large boomerang.

"Oh, you're Sango!" she said intelligently as she continued massaging moving the red whatever aside so she could feel what it was underneath.

"Yes, good girl." Sango said slowly. "Are you OK?"

Suddenly, everything started coming back to Kagome. Inuyasha wasn't an unfortunate name. It was the name of the love of her life! The large boomerang belonged to her best friend, Sango. The perverted monk…well, was a perverted monk. But that was besides the point. The meat of the matter was she had fainted! Her face turned red. "Oh my God! I passed out! In front of Inuyasha too! In the middle of a battle! I am so embarrassed! Oh no, Sango! What am I going to do!"

"Well, for starters, you might want to stop stroking his chest." Sango replied.

Kagome froze and her heart skipped about 10 beats. She very slowly looked down at the red material and realized it was, in fact, Inuyasha's haori. And her hand was resting under it! She'd even gotten it underneath the white shirt he wore underneath that! Her hand had come to find its home directly on Inuyasha's chest, and she had been rubbing it like a kitten. Her eyes traveled up, from the chest, to meet the gold eyes, surrounded by bright red flesh.

"Uh, hello Kagome."

"AAAAHHHHH!"

So, that's all for chapter 11. The song is "Savages" from Pocahontas. It is so much fun when they say "Savages!" You should watch it. But before that, you should review. Because remember, that's all I want for my 18th birthday. A lottery ticket, and a review from you. Happy holidays!


	12. Yes, Snookums

Hey all,

It's just me, updating.

No, you're not imagining things. I really am updating.

I don't know, I've just been on an updating roll. A couple of days ago, I updated "When Larceny Gets Complicated" (If you haven't already, please go read that one too. It's pretty good, I promise. And it's even kind of funny, even though I specifically categorized it under Drama/Romance. It's different from what you're used to if you've only read "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water" but it's my baby too. So, go check it out, OK?)

Anyways, on to the Reviewer Replies!

AtticusBlackwolf: I'm glad I was able to help you survive during that crucial time in your life. Lord knows I _love _that time, but maybe because my birthday is during then. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Lost Forevermore: I think I have the coolest reviewers. You all have such great names! So creative! I'm happy to hear you like this story.

Lindsay: If you just found this site, I wouldn't call it ignorance. I would just call it a mild case of blindness. I'm glad you're here though. Welcome to the family. We all seem to be black sheep, so beware.

Wolfygirl13: unfortunately, I don't think our beloved Sesshomaru is going to be making an appearance in this fanfic. I think that might be overkill. But I had thought of adding him to it. Maybe I'll add it to a author's cut snippet when I finish the main stuff…

Crazy4dogboi: Thank you for your wishes. I bought 3. Didn't win a damn thing, but I still feel like an adult. Buying stuff that eventually will let you down. Oh yeah, adulthood, here I come. I'm glad you know what rendezvous is now. Don't feel bad. When I would read it, I would pronounce it rehn-DEZ-voose. And I would wonder who would make up such a stupid word.

Fallen from the sky: yet another example of the coolness of my readers. Great name. Embarrrassment City? Try Embarrassment Country. And she's the president.

RavenWolfe: I am so happy you like this fic. I do my best. In answer to your questions

1.they're all singing Disney songs because there's something in the water

2. Sangodid thatfor no particular reason other than I can make her do that.

Namelessevil: You know what? I have a calendar by this comedian named George Carlin, and he was talking about getting songs stuck in your head. This is what he wrote: "You know how sometimes you have a song going through your head over and over all day long, maybe even two or three days? And it's driving you crazy because you can't get it out of your mind? Well, I know how to fix that. It's extreme, but it works every time. You kill yourself."

Now, I am NOT suggesting this. I just thought of you when I came across this in my calendar today. But please stay with us. I wouldn't want you to leave. We're not even done here yet. Thank you for all of your wonderful compliments. They totally inflated my head. But they also inspire me to write more. Don't worry that it's been an exceedingly long review. I take special pleasure out of reading such long reviews. They make writing worthwhile. So thank you!

Box Queen: It's only going to get worse.

..uh…GOD: Thank you so much. I love getting such positive feedback. And thank you for the birthday shout-out. I'm glad to know that some people read my author's notes at the beginning and ending of chapters.

Sango the Lecher Slayer: Yeah, I didn't really remember it until I watched the movie with my younger brother and sister. Very racially charged song. But totally workable for me and my story.

Punk Chicky: Oh, with her teddy bear. But honestly, if you were her, wouldn't you be thinking along the same lines? I would have already resolved to move to Canada if my parents burst out into song like that over my love life.

Eimi-Marschild: Cool name with you too. Answer to your question: No, Kagome and Inuyasha aren't the only sane ones. In fact, it might not be politically correct to call _them_ sane at all. At least not yet. Get to chapter 7, then get back to me.

Sweetpotato1992: I'm glad you like that chapter. I hope you like this one too.

AN: Not much. Don't own it.

* * *

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my freaking god." 

Miroku and Sango were sitting on a bit of an incline, watching their friend pace around, repeating her mantra, stopping every once in a while to dip her head in the stream she was walking next to.

"If she's trying to drown herself, she's doing a really bad job." Miroku commented.

"I think she's trying to wake up." Sango offered.

"But she's not asleep."

"Which poses as a problem."

"Most certainly."

They turned their attention back to Kagome, but not before Miroku very casually slid his hand toward Sango and captured her hand in his own, brought it to his mouth, and kissed it. Sango opted not to look at him, but a pronounced blush across her cheeks indicated her signs of awkwardness at these new displays of affection from the monk.

Kagome probably would've cooed in an embarrassing manner if she hadn't been so occupied with deciding just how she could fix the mess she had just landed herself in. There was no way she could just play that off. She distinctly remembered thinking something along the lines of "Sexy abs" in reference to Inuyasha. She just couldn't remember if she'd said it aloud. Oh, and the whole 'sexual assault' thing didn't help matters at all. Kagome groaned when she thought about it.

"What the hell was I thinking?" she asked herself.

"Obviously what you really feel." Miroku supplied.

Kagome: Oo!

"Look, why don't you just take your mind off of it." Sango suggested. That was the whole reason they had dragged Kagome away from the tree she tried to ram her head into after she screamed in Inuyasha's face. That girl was surprisingly strong if she's hell-bent enough to inflict some major cranial damage on herself in the prospects of giving herself amnesia. All Inuyasha could do was look on in utter shock.

"I can't! I basically admitted that I love him!" Kagome was moaning.

"Admit? You mean you actually do?" Miroku asked.

"Well duh! You don't go around subconsciously stroking people's chest for the hell of it." Kagome snapped.

Sango, Miroku, and Kagome's eyes suddenly traveled downward, looking at their shoes. In the monk's case, you do go around stroking people's (i.e. women's) chest for the hell of it. Subconscious or not.

Kagome shook her head. "How did I end up leaning against him anyways! We were fighting Naraku. And then I fainted at the sight of all those pixies, which is not funny, so stop giggling, Sango! What happened with that? Why aren't we in the middle of a battle?"

Miroku took a tentative look at his girlfriend (he almost smiled at the thought. He could call her that now. HIS girlfriend) and said an intelligent, "Uh…"

Kagome looked suspiciously at the pair. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Well, Kagome, we aren't fighting, because…it's kind of over."

"What do you mean, over? Did Inuyasha kill Naraku?"

"Uh, no." Sango said in a non confirming voice.

"Then why aren't we going after him!" Kagome shrieked.

"Because Naraku is dead. Inuyasha just wasn't the one who killed him…"

"Well, then who did?" Kagome asked, shock marring her face. Her extreme humiliation was momentarily forgotten. She wondered how angry Inuyasha must be, what with his entire life goal for the last 3 years being snatched away from him. She couldn't see anyone but him killing off that bastard. Who could be so bold? Who could be so crazy? Who could kill Naraku besides Inuyasha?

"Um…well…you did." Miroku answered.

Kagome: OO…

"Kagome?" Sango asked, worried by Kagome's silence.

"Come again?" the young priestess managed to squeak out as she plopped down on the ground to be eye level with the two.

"You killed Naraku." Miroku repeated.

Kagome: blink, blink

Sango leaned over to Miroku and whispered, "Something tells me that she's not comprehending at all."

"Who can blame her? _I_ can hardly comprehend it! And I was there!"

Sango looked back at Kagome. Her eyes gave it all away. The girl was in shock. Not just shock. She was floored. She just kept shaking her head in disbelief.

"No, no, no. There's no way I could've killed him. That's impossible!"

"Actually, it is possible, and you did kill him."

"How? How on earth could I have killed Naraku! I think I would've remembered KILLING THE MOST EVIL PERSON ON THE PLANET THAT WE'VE TRYING TO DESTROY FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS! I passed out before the battle even began!"

"I know. It was hard for us to believe as well. But you did." Sango said, an air of pride about her.

"How?"

"Well, remember when we were all waiting for Naraku and his army?"

"Yes."

"And when Naraku came out of the brush?"

* * *

Flashback (cue watery, dreamlike fadeout) 

_Suddenly, Naraku stepped into a clearing, where Inuyasha and his group were waiting. Inuyasha had Tetsuaiga held out, Sango's boomerang was positioned over her head, Miroku's hand was dangerously close to the prayer beads that kept his Wind Tunnel in check, Shippo had his tops of doom spinning, growing larger with each turn, and Kagome had her arrow pointed at Naraku. Inuyasha sneered. "You're cocky. Thinking YOU will be enough to take us down. Where's your army?"_

_Naraku grinned his maniacal grin. "Right here." With a flourish of his hand, his army stepped out from behind the trees and brush. _

_The demons hissed and growled, the trolls pounded their giant clubs, and the goblins scratched their long fingernails down the sides of trees. And for reasons beyond anyone's knowledge, everyone in the clearing broke out into song, all singing the same tune, but with different versions._

_  
Half-breed mutt! Savages!  
Barely even human! Barely even demon!  
Now we sound the drums of war!_

_Kagome had just closed her mouth, after hitting a very nice soprano note. Maybe she wasn't that bad after all. She looked ahead, just in time to see Naraku turn his head around and yell "CHARGE!" She let her arrow fly, and was stringing another one when she saw a familiar gaudy cloud of violence emerge from behind Naraku. Greens, purples, pinks, and oranges, along with countless other colors. She screamed out, "DEMON PIXIES!"_

… _and then fainted. _

End of Flashback

* * *

"Yes, I remember. Where does the killing Naraku part come in?" Kagome was getting testy. This seemed absolutely ridiculous. 

"That arrow you were aiming at Naraku…" Miroku said.

"No, I was aiming at a mouse demon. I hate mice. I missed it, so I was going in for another shot."

"YOU MISSED!" Sango and Miroku exclaimed.

"Yes…" Kagome replied slowly. "It does happen occasionally."

"Yeah, but the ending result isn't usually impaling Naraku dead in the chest." Sango said, incredulity still taking up the majority of her emotions.

"What?"

Miroku took over. "Apparently, you missed, trying to kill a mouse demon, and instead hit Naraku."

* * *

Flashback (cue watery, dreamlike fadeout again) 

_Naraku yelled "CHARGE!" Sango and Miroku instinctively braced themselves for what was sure to be the hardest, most important battle they would ever fight. Inuyasha was about to leap forward when he heard a shrill, "DEMON PIXIES!" He turned just in time to see Kagome falling towards the dirt._

_Instinctively, he rushed forward, caught her, and laid her gently on the ground (all in about 3 seconds) Shippo scampered next to him and dragged Kagome out of harm's way. Seeing she was safe, for the time being, he turned his attention back to his nemesis. He caught Naraku's eye, and to say shock was evident in his eyes was an understatement. Astonishment and belief was screaming out of his black orbs. Naraku looked down at his chest, and Inuyasha's gaze followed. There, sticking out of his chest, was a sacred arrow. One of Kagome's. _

_Naraku looked back up at Inuyasha. He almost looked like he wasn't the one with the arrow sticking out of where his heart should be. In a very quiet voice, he looked down again, said, "Oh" looked back up at Inuyasha and said, "Darn" and fell backwards._

_Dead._

_For a while, everyone in the clearing just sort of looked at Naraku's body. Then, it started deteriorating rapidly. Before anyone could say anything, all that was left of Naraku was a pile of dust, and an arrow. Suddenly, a gust of wind, in a very clichéd manner blew the dust away, leaving the arrow. Inuyasha stepped cautiously over towards where feudal era enemy number one was standing about 2 minutes before. He peered down to see an almost entirely whole Shikon no Tama jewel partially hidden by the arrowhead. He picked it up tentatively. "So, he kept it where his heart should have been?"_

_At this statement, everyone seemed to snap out of their surprise. Confused talking ensued, until the boogeyman stepped forward._

"_Um, since Naraku seems to have…well…died, is there really a need for us to fight?"_

_Inuyasha looked up from the jewel. "Oh... I guess not."_

"_OK. Good. Maybe I'll have time to go home and catch a few shut eyes before my shift tonight."_

"_Wanna go get something at Mack and his Pot, or Fruity King?" one pixie asked another._

"_What a waste of time. I took off of work and everything." A demon was muttering. _

_The demons, monsters, and pixies talked amongst themselves as they turned around and headed out of the clearing. _

_Sango looked at Inuyasha, Miroku, and Shippo. "Do you guys want some tea or something?"_

End of flashback

* * *

"Just like that? The greatest battle the earth has ever seen is over? The biggest good versus evil struggle ever ended with you asking if anyone wanted 'tea or something'!" 

Sango shrugged. "Yeah. Just like that."

Kagome shook her head. "This just isn't right! There's gotta be something in the water!"

"No. I think we overestimated Naraku." Miroku said.

"Overestimated is an understatement. Inuyasha must be furious." Kagome commented.

"No, he isn't angry. But I think he _is_ worried. You were out for a few hours."

"Yeah, then I woke up and sexually assaulted him."

Miroku raised an eyebrow. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't sexual assault entail nonconsensual activities."

"Yes."

Miroku looked over at Sango. "I don't know Sango, but Inuyasha looked like he completely consented to me."

Sango nodded. "I would have to agree with you, Miroku."

Kagome blushed a bright shade of red. Hesitantly, she asked, "Do you think?"

"YES!" They both shouted at her.

"Why don't you go talk to him? I'm sure he would appreciate it." Sango offered.

"Yeah. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. Especially if your hand ends up in his shirt again, and maybe his hand will end up-"

BAM!

"Once a pervert, always a pervert." Sango said as she removed Hiraikotsu from the indent she made with it in Miroku head.

"I'm only perverted when it comes to you, darling."

"Honey?"

"Yes, Snookums?"

"That still doesn't sound right. And don't call me Snookums!"

"Yes, Pookie."

"Agh!" Sango cried in frustration. She looked at Kagome, who still looked a little unsure. She smiled and gently nudged her. "Go to him."

Kagome looked at her and nodded. Slowly, she stood up, brushed off her skirt, and headed into the forest.

"Uh, Kagome?" Miroku called after her.

"Yes?"

"You're going the wrong way. Inuyasha is that way." Miroku pointed to the left of her.

"No, that's where we last left him. He's over here now." Kagome turned and continued on her way.

"How does she know that?" Miroku asked Sango.

"Same way I know where you are. It's a woman's intuition to know where the man she loves is."

"That is one of the most romantic things you've ever said to me."

Sango sighed. "Don't get too used to it. I still have no problem kicking your ass to Kingdom Come."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Miroku smiled. He gently cupped his hand around her cheek (the facial ones) and lowered his lips to hers.

"_I am sure," _he thought as he felt Sango respond positively to his kiss, _"that I will **never** get tired of this."_

Meanwhile…

* * *

Kagome was trudging through the forest, looking for her half-demon. She knew he was in this general direction, but heaven forbid she got a feminine intuition about just how far away he was. 

She was starting to question her intuition when she heard two familiar voices coming from overhead.

"Shippo, I'm not telling you a damn thing! Don't you have somewhere to be with that Kisa girl?"

"No. Now come on! Please?"

"Who said anything about me doing that anyway?"

Kagome looked up to see Inuyasha looking more than a little annoyed sitting on a branch above her with Shippo facing him on another branch. She was studying Inuyasha's face when he inhaled deeply and suddenly his furry, triangular ear twitched in her direction and his amber eyes swerved down to capture her chocolate ones. A slight blush crept over his nose, but in a very dignified manner; and he very rudely told Shippo to stop talking and go elsewhere.

Shippo looked to where Inuyasha's attention was being held hostage. He smiled at Kagome, and hopped down the branches. He landed on Kagome's shoulder briefly, gave her the thumbs up, and continued on his way, where he smelt where Miroku and Sango were.

Kagome averted her gaze to the ground, finding the intensity of Inuyasha's eyes a little too much to handle.

"Uh…hi." She said meekly.

"Yeah… hi." Inuyasha replied. He remembered the day's previous events and cringed at the thought of Kagome screaming when she realized what she was doing and running away as fast as her human legs could carry her. Which, he was surprised to find out, was extremely fast. She certainly could give that pesky wolf idiot a run for his money. Maybe that was the secret. Next time they were in battle, he'd make sure she was sufficiently embarrassed if things got a little too dangerous.

Then again, what with Naraku being dead and all, there probably wouldn't be any more battles of that magnitude anymore. The thought made his heart squeeze. He had taken the Shikon no Tama from Naraku, and realized the crazed psycho had done a lot of work on it. In fact, there were only two more shards missing from it. He knew Kagome had one. So, after they found the other one, their journey would be complete. They didn't need to worry about Kouga's shards, since Naraku had reclaimed them a few weeks ago. And as for Kohaku, well, that was bound to be hard for Sango. Not that he'd died. No, the only thing that was keeping him alive was his will to live. The jewel shard in his back never did anything for him, except cause a lot of grief. Of course, now Sango had to go find him, seeing as how his memory was probably wiped cleaned again, after Naraku stole the jewel from him. So, really, what they had all set out to do, was almost done. And no matter how much he had complained about wanting to get it all over with, Inuyasha couldn't help feeling a huge sense of foreboding. Now with their mission's end in sight, would there be any need for them to stay together? Meeting all of them, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo, was one of the best things that had happened to him. And saying goodbye to them was something he didn't want to think about. But falling in love with Kagome was the absolute best thing that had ever happened to him. And, he was beginning to realize, it was the worst thing as well. He knew he would feel extremely sad without the monk, demon slayer, and fox kit. But, without Kagome, he didn't know if he could even breathe, much less go on. She held his heart. Hell, she _was _his heart. How could he keep on living when his heart was gone? He had torn the hearts (and other vital organs) out of numerous demons before. And one thing remained the same. It was 100 certifiably impossible to stay alive without your heart. And who was Inuyasha to argue with plain and simple logic?

Miroku shouldn't dance in sparkly, pansy outfits.

Shippo couldn't fly with just happy thoughts.

Inuyasha wouldn't live without Kagome.

He surprised himself with how morbid yet disgustingly sappy that sounded. He heard a heartbeat suddenly quicken, and he remembered that the object of his affections was waiting for him to stop staring into space and talk to her.

At least, that's what he gathered from her nervous twitching, and her habit of rocking on her heels he had noticed she did frequently when she was anxious or nervous about something. Probably trying to figure out how to best let him down about how unconscious she was when she…

Well, when she groped him. She had probably been thinking of that retarded wolf asshole and how much she'd like to caress his wimpy sunken in chest.

Ah well, better hurry up and let the heart breaking begin.

* * *

Kagome rocked uneasily on her heels. She wasn't sure where she'd picked up the habit, but it was something she did when she got nervous. And the more she thought about it, the faster she rocked. She was beginning to think that Miroku and Sango were too doped up off of each other to think clearly and give her proper advice. She was just about to turn around and sulk in her own embarrassment when she heard a rustling from the tree, and felt a soft thud as the hanyou landed gracefully next to her. Immediately, her throat closed up and her cheeks grew hot with all the blood rushing to them. She turned her attention to her brown penny loafers and opted to let him make the first move. 

Well, uh…

Say the first thing.

Making moves was bad.

Very bad.

* * *

Inuyasha watched as Kagome's eyes traveled down to her shoes. He was pretty happy he didn't have a need for shoes. They looked completely confining. But, suddenly, with Kagome not looking at him, and his feelings for her on the tip of his tongue, nowhere felt more confining than the forest they were in. He'd trade in for those shoes in a heartbeat. 

He shook his head roughly. What the hell was he doing? The girl he had come to completely fall for was standing in front of him, who had, by the way just killed his arch nemesis, and all he could think of was wearing shoes.

Oh yeah, he definitely wasn't thinking straight anymore. Not with Kagome around.

'_Get a grip! Just talk to her!'_ he told himself. Finally, he'd braced himself. He opened his mouth, and croaked out a somewhat hoarse, "Kagome, listen, there's something you need to-"

When he was interrupted by his own name.

"Inuyasha."

Only, Kagome wasn't the one saying it.

Both Kagome and Inuyasha looked up. Kagome's jaw dropped, and Inuyasha's eyes popped.

As they both stared at the same person, in unison, they whispered, "Kikyo?"

Damn. Talk about bad timing.

* * *

AN: So, raise your hand if you want to kill me? 

Everyone: raises hand

That's what I thought. Believe me, if I had put all of it into one chapter, it'd take me forever to update.

And yes, I'm fully aware that this chapter has no singing in it whatsoever. I promise that next chapter will be so much song fluff, you'll probably choke on it.

This just need to happen this way.

Who doesn't love a good cliffhanger?


End file.
